Breaking the Chains That Bind

Psychotheraphy Conference.6/6.mp4

2010-08-29T11:53:00.001-04:00

Psychotheraphy Conference.5/6.mp4

2010-08-29T11:53:00.000-04:00

Psychotheraphy Conference.4/6.mp4

2010-08-29T11:52:00.003-04:00

Psychotherapy Conference 3/6

2010-08-29T11:52:00.002-04:00

Psychotherapy Conference 3/6

2010-08-29T11:52:00.001-04:00

Neurobiology of Sin 1/6

2010-08-29T11:52:00.000-04:00

Psychotherapy Conference 2/6

2010-08-29T11:51:00.000-04:00

The New Monastic and the Old Monk: When the Center Does Not Hold

2010-08-18T18:30:00.000-04:00

The New Monastic and the Old Monk: When the Center Does Not Hold
At the moment I am somewhere in Oklahoma with our oldest son, trying to provide moral support while he struggles with some very difficult issues. My wife joins us as she can, given her work; and our friends are praying for us.

It’s unbearably hot here, sometimes almost unbearably hard here, and overall it’s very depressing. I try to keep a chipper public face, especially where I am somewhat in “public” (e.g. on Facebook) … but I’m not chipper. Nor is my faith at the moment.

That's the setting, the emotional and spiritual context, for what follows. It applies to the situation of my loved ones here, but as I pondered it all, things quickly went "global" on me earlier today. With that condition in mind, I wasn’t surprised at what was whispering through my head as I woke up today.

It was in that dreamy half-state – half-asleep, half-awake, eyes open but seeing more of the “inside” of my soul than the “outside” of my world – that I began to realize I was remembering the words of the poem “The Second Coming” by William Butler Yeats. Word by word, it all shimmered up out of the depths and began to float around in my head, in front of my spiritual eyes:

Follow the link and read the entire article.....

Confessing Your Financial Sins | Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese

2010-08-03T21:37:00.002-04:00

Confessing Your Financial Sins | Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese: "In this article, I want to examine the connection between one of the wonderful tools the Church provides us to work out our salvation—the Sacrament of Confession—and one of the most ordinary, practical dimensions of our lives—our finances.

There are many wonderful books and articles on the subject of confession. However, there are almost none that deal specifically with the connection between confession and our own personal financial sins. There is a wonderful Jewish saying that goes, “The longest path is the one that leads from the heart to the pocket.”

According to several recent money magazines, the average American household has an outstanding credit card balance of over $8,000, a rising level of overall debt, an average retirement account balance that is woefully short of their needs for retirement, and little to nothing saved for their children’s education. While it would be nice to think that these statistics do not apply to Orthodox Christians, I have yet to find any proof that Orthodox Christians are statistically different from the rest of the population in this regard."

Theosis: Partaking of the Divine Nature | Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese

2010-08-03T09:33:00.002-04:00

Theosis: Partaking of the Divine Nature | Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese: "I said, “You are gods,

And all of you are children of the Most High.” (Psalm 82:6)

This is a verse that most Protestants do not underline in their Bibles. What on earth does it mean—“you are gods”? Doesn’t our faith teach that there is only one God, in three Persons? How can human beings be gods?"

Forgiveness and Reconciliation: How to Forgive Others and Receive Forgiveness | Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese

2010-08-03T09:31:00.003-04:00

Forgiveness and Reconciliation: How to Forgive Others and Receive Forgiveness | Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese: "To forgive means to restore a bond of love and communion when there has been a rupture. Sin ruptures our relationship with God and others, as also do offenses taken and given among people.

When the bond is broken with other people, we tend to objectify them and judge them, not seeing them as persons, but only as objects of our anger and hurt. This is our sinful reaction. We categorize people in terms of their transgression against us. The longer we nurture the anger and alienation, the more deeply the resentment takes hold in our heart, and the more it feeds on our soul. Resentment is a cancer that will destroy us if we don’t forgive! It also leaks out and damages our relations with others when we slander and gossip about those who have offended us and try to draw others to our own side. Of course, no one should want to hear such things—but we do!"

Confession: the Healing Sacrament | Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese

2010-08-02T21:30:00.000-04:00

Confession: the Healing Sacrament | Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese: "A young monk said to the great ascetic Abba Sisoes: “Abba, what should I do? I fell.” The elder answered: “Get up!” The monk said: “I got up and I fell again!” The elder replied: “Get up again!” But the young monk asked: “For how long should I get up when I fall?” “Until your death,” answered Abba Sisoes. —Sayings of the Desert Fathers

“When I went to my first confession,” a friend told me, “tears took the place of the sins I meant to utter. The priest simply told me that it wasn’t necessary to enumerate everything and that it was just vanity to suppose that our personal sins are worse than everyone else’s. Which, by the way, was something of a relief, since it wasn’t possible for me to remember all the sins of my first thirty-odd years of life. It made me think of the way the father received his prodigal son—he didn’t even let his son finish his carefully rehearsed speech. It’s truly amazing.”"

Helping our National Guard and Reserve Members | DoD Live

2010-07-29T18:43:00.000-04:00

Helping our National Guard and Reserve Members | DoD Live: "DCoE’s Center for Deployment Psychology is concerned with the question: “Who is treating our guard and reserve servicemembers and their families after they leave active service and return to their communities?” Members of the guard and reserve are more vulnerable to chronic psychological health problems than active component service members, and it is vital that they have behavioral health providers who are trained to care for their needs."

Military Families and Deployment — Center for Deployment Psychology

2010-07-29T18:40:00.000-04:00

Military Families and Deployment — Center for Deployment Psychology Since the US adopted an all-volunteer military force in 1973, there have been changes in the demographic makeup of the military, including a steady increase in the proportion of married service members. While traditionally our military force consisted of service members who were largely young and single, today the number of military family members outnumbers the number of active duty military members. Currently 1.4 million service members make up the active duty armed forces, while there are close to 2 million family members of active duty military personnel, including spouses, children, and adult dependents (2007 Demographics Profile of the Military Community, DMDC, 2007).

Resentment

2010-07-05T16:09:00.000-04:00

Several days ago, my wife and I fell into one of those silly little squabbles that are such a prominent feature of day-to-day married life. You know the kind of fight I am talking about: they are never about the meaning of life, the existence of God, or even the profound ethical implications of cloning. The most fights are rather about those other big issues: whether or not the toilet seat should be left up; whose dirty dishes those are; where the salt shaker should be kept. You get the point.

These petty quarrels unleash what I consider the deadliest poison in any human relationship: resentment. Take my recent conflict, for instance. Something was left out and not returned to where it belonged. I reacted by delivering a little lecture, which my wife did not receive well. We had words, and I went upstairs. A short while later, I apologized ungraciously. The apology was accepted, but not reciprocated.

That, for me least, was the lance that pierced the boil. I had condescended to show some remorse for something that I truly believed wasn’t really my fault. How dare she not apologize in return? I said nothing at the time, but the demon was out. I smouldered with resentment for the rest of the day. I felt depressed, heavy and irritable about everything. Life suddenly became bitter and grey—and all over an item out of place!

This is resentment: the conscious act of nursing a grudge against a fellow human being for a real or imagined wrong they have committed against us. Someone fails to live up to our expectations, gets in our way, interrupts our plans, won’t follow our agenda or meet our deadlines. And when we correct, these persons compound their wrongs by refusing to straighten up and fly right. They may, if they are very accommodating, try to toe the line for a while, but inevitably they fail to become the people we would like them to be.

The result: we resent them. We sulk. We brood. We analyze them endlessly and fruitlessly. We work ourselves up and get frustrated. And all our frustration, our failure to correct the other person’s supposed wrongs lead us to become more angry, more resentful and more miserable within ourselves. Meanwhile the object of our resentment goes on with their life. They may recover from the spat and even interact with us as if it never happened. They begin to act as if this really wasn’t the end of the world...

How dare they!

Spiritually speaking, resentment is our reaction to discovering that we cannot control the personalities and actions of others. In short, we are not God. When people around us fail to submit and act on cue, according to our directions, the limits of our power over them is exposed and we lash out like a thwarted petty tyrant throwing a tantrum. As this “inner Napoleon,” kicks and screams, he may hurt others, but his ultimate victim is the soul that he inhabits, namely, our own. That’s why resentment so often leaves us feeling far worse than the person against whom our resentment is directed. As someone once said, “Resentment is the poison we drink, hoping someone else will die.”

Petty and imagined grievances notwithstanding, people often act in ways that really cross our boundaries, offend, injure or even abuse us. When such actions reveal our lack of godlike power, however, we are the ones who decide to react by throwing the inner paroxysm that wreaks so much spiritual and emotional havoc in our hearts and minds. Suffering is a reality for any created being. Because we are limited, we are subject to the forces beyond our control. However, resentment of our suffering is a choice we make, the futile fist-shaking of one who would be God and won’t accept his humanity.

If resentment is a spiritual ailment, rooted in the failure of our godlike ambitions, then the cure must also be spiritual. I am not talking merely about more religious activity: prayer, Bible reading, church attendance—good and beneficial as these are. I am talking about concrete action. When others do things to expose our human limitations, we must face the revelation without seeking to escape from them through fantasy, analysis, entertainment, spending, etc. Next we must surrender our struggles to a Power greater than oneself: not just God in the abstract, but God as He makes Himself known in people who are objective, who love us, and who are not afraid to tell us the truth about ourselves. Only then can the abscess of our prideful egos be lanced and drained, and true healing begin.

The end result of this healing is the exact opposite of resentment: acceptance. God is God, and I am simply a member of the human race. To quote from page 449 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous: “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation—some fact of my life—unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake… Unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”

source: http://www.saintaidan.ca/2009/05/resentment.html

Irreconcilable differences

2010-07-04T15:48:00.001-04:00

The title phrase is probably the most often cited reason for modern cases of divorce. It refers to a situation in which two married people discover at some point along the road that they are “not compatible,” which means, they don’t get along emotionally, spiritually, physically, most of the time.

Let’s get something straight to begin with. The Eastern Orthodox Church does permit divorce under circumstances of adultery, abuse and abandonment. However, divorce on the grounds of “irreconcilable differences” is generally not admissible in marriages between Orthodox Christians.

Why not? I believe it has something to do with the Church’s rejection of the underlying secular assumption behind divorce due to “irreconcilable differences.” Our culture tends to think of a successful marriage as one in which husband and wife are actually twin souls in different biological clothing. Your “one true love” is that special person who matches you perfectly, who completes you, fulfills you, perfects you, is actually your “other half” and so on.

The Christian understanding of marriage takes a very different view. In chapter five of his Epistle to the Ephesians, St. Paul uses a marital image to speak of the mystery of the Incarnation. The wife’s feminine role represents the human nature of Christ, which continues to manifest itself in the Church. (Ephesians 5:22-23) The husband’s masculine role, on the other hand, represents the divine nature of Christ the Son and Word of God, who is the head of the Church through the Holy Spirit. (Ephesians 5:25-26) The union of the two genders in one relationship speaks of the one Person of Christ in whom two natures are united. And this union, St. Paul says, is a “great mystery” (Ephesians 5:32) precisely because those natures—the divine and the human—are so completely exclusive and irreconcilable!

What we have here is more than just a theological conundrum. It has real and profound implications for those of who are married and follow the Christian teaching. For one thing, St. Paul tells us that marriage naturally and necessarily exists within a framework of irreconcilable differences. By using husband and wife as an analogy of divine and human, St. Paul in fact shows that far from being twin souls or complementary beings, the genders in marriage are exclusively different.

This fundamental difference is more than just an unfortunate condition of life in a fallen world. It is the very basis of God’s providential love for us. The Gospel definition of love is that God gave Himself for that which is completely ‘other’ than Himself—humanity. And since we are made in the image and likeness of God, our definition of love is expressed in the same way: love is the giving of oneself to and for someone who is utterly different from us.

Inevitably, couples living the secular myth of the ‘twin souls’ or the ‘one true love’ finally discover that they really are two different people. When this happens, the result may well be divorce because they can’t or won’t reconcile the dissimilarities. For couples operating on the assumptions of the Gospel teaching, however, irreconcilable differences in a relationship are not the end, but the very beginning of their calling to show forth the mystery of Christ in their marriage.

When I strive to serve my wife in the absence of personal comfort, convenience, or emotional fulfillment, that act is nothing less than the enactment of the love of Christ “who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross.” (Philippians 2:6-8)

When I seek the good and the life of another when there is nothing in it for me—no completion, no needs met, no emotional climax given—then my love is truly selfless, and as such, truly divine. And the greater the differences between myself and my wife, the brighter Christ shines when we continue to love one another anyway.

Are there any circumstances in which irreconcilable differences can genuinely be cited as the basis for a divorce? Possibly, but I believe that truly irreconcilable relationships are much rarer than we suppose. In a narcissistic, self-gratifying culture, we too easily flee from conflict with others. We try to smooth them over, rationalize them away, ignore them, or simply flee from them. Instead, we should see such disparities for what they really are: the canvas upon which we can illustrate the life-giving marriage between us and our Creator, which was consummated in the first century A.D. on a hill outside Jerusalem, and will be lived out in eternity.

source: http://www.pravmir.com/article_700.html

Kids First, Marriage Later -- If Ever : NPR

2010-07-04T11:36:00.000-04:00

Kids First, Marriage Later -- If Ever : NPR: "Federal data from 2007 says 40 percent of births in America are to unwed mothers, a trend experts say is especially common in middle-class America. In one St. Louis community, the notion of getting married and having children — in that order — seems quaint."

The family as the bearer of Tradition

2010-07-03T15:46:00.001-04:00

1. Introduction

In our modern world one of the most discussed topics is the state of the family. Generally, if we listen to the radio or watch television, we find two opposing groups represented with the respective views on family. First, we have those left of centre, generally represented in the media by those who would minimalise the importance of family, if not "deconstruct" it all together. For these, the individual reigns supreme. Those who embrace the concept of family are looked upon with either contempt or pity (depending generally on their gender), as either the protagonists or victims of an oppressive, out-dated "patriarchal" societal institution.

On the other side of the discussion, we find the right-wing, who present their highly-specified image of the "ideal" familial situation. Listening to these people, or reading their literature, one would surmise that all families, to truly be called families, should consist of dad and mom (both in their first marriage and preferably high-school sweethearts), kids, a dog or cat (preferably both), a house with a picket fence, and a station wagon or mini-van. People who do not, or cannot, fit this model are looked upon as "okay" people, who are destined to make do with what they have, pining to fit in.

Now, not everyone who sits left or right of centre holds these extreme views. However, to base our opinions solely on what modern media reports about the family, one cannot help but surmise that all liberals want to tear the family apart, and all conservatives want people to be clones of the Cleavers or the Cunninghams. Left without any perspective of their own tradition, modern Orthodox Christians are left to pick from one of these sides.

The tragedy for us is that both of these opinions do not capture Orthodox Christianity's understanding of the definition, role and responsibility of the family. Left with secular ideas alone, the whole Orthodox concept of marriage and family gets left on the wayside. This, in turn, leads to the types of misunderstandings and negligence towards the mystery of marriage and family life that we hear of so much in our parishes. Here is an example of what I mean:

One day I was meeting with a woman and her mother about preparations for the daughter's wedding. The mother, born and raised Orthodox in the "Old Country," said to me, "Father, we want to have a traditional wedding. "That's great," I said, pleasantly surprised, since I usually have to work through a number of misunderstood issues, such as why we do not allow doves to be released during the service. "Yes," she said, "we would like my husband to walk her down the isle, and then you ask the couple, 'Do you take her to be your lawfully wedded wife?' and the rest, you know." If our Orthodox people do not even understand the rite of Marriage which takes a little over an hour, how can we expect that they embrace the "Great Mystery" of matrimony and family life which unfolds over a lifetime? In this presentation, I would like to discuss the Orthodox Christian understanding of family from a very special and important perspective: the understanding of family as the bearer of tradition. We are going to look at the importance of tradition in the life and the development of family, and how this understanding shapes our vision of what a family is or can be.

2. The Family as Tradition-Bearer

Put very simply, the concept of family as tradition bearer, defines a family as a group of people who embrace and pass on a common story. This "story" is the tradition. The very word tradition comes from a Latin term meaning "to pass on" or "to pass down" we find similar terms in Greek ("paradosis") and Slavonic ("peredania").

Here, we must make a cautionary note. In the West, the concept of tradition is seen as something static, archaic, monolithic. In the East, tradition is a living, responsive thing. Put simply, while Western Christianity generally sees tradition as a noun, the Christian East sees it as a verb. Thus, unlike the English noun "tradition," the words quoted above have verbal forms as well.

Thus, when we speak of the family as bearing a tradition, we are not speaking of something that is imposed upon others, whether it fits or not. Rather, we are speaking of a living message, a dynamic witness of: 1) who we are, 2) how we came to be, 3) where we are going, and 4) how we get there. Taking the example of the Orthodox Christian Church family, our Holy Tradition bears witness to our belief that 1) we are the Church, the Bride and Body of Jesus Christ; 2) we became (become) Christ's Bride and Body through the Holy Trinity's saving actions (Its grace) in the world; 3) as the Bride and Body of Christ we seek an intimate union with our Head and Bridegroom in His heavenly Kingdom, and 4) we achieve this union through the struggles of "purification," "illumination," and "deification."

3. The First Mark of a Family: We Embrace a Common Story

In this understanding of family as tradition-bearer, we see two aspects. The first is that a family is a group of people who embrace a common story or tradition highlighting identity, goals (i.e. "telos"), and responsibilities. This idea echoes the words of the holy apostle Paul: "Therefore, brethren, stand fast and hold the traditions which you were taught, whether by word or our epistle" (2Thes.2:15). For a family to be complete, all members must identify themselves as embracing the common story. This does not mean that one has to know the whole story, or have a complete intellectual understanding of it to be identified as part of the family. Rather, one has to be receptive to the story, as a child is always receiving messages about behaviours and attitudes.

In the liturgical life of the Church the vehicle "par excellence" through which we identify ourselves as the family of God is the Creed. In the Creed we identify ourselves as children and creature of God the Father, we speak of all that God the Son did "for us and for our salvation, we affirm our anticipation of the Second, Glorious Coming of Christ "and the life of the world to come," and we acknowledge the importance of participation in the Holy Mysteries "for the remission of sins."

It is in this spirit that the Symbol of Faith (creed) is understood as an integral part of the baptismal service; these words would have been particularly profound for our forebears who would have first uttered them the day of their baptism and chrismation. By these words, the candidate declares his or her embracing of the story of God's People of the New Covenant. To embrace the story, then, means to believe in it, and to live by it, to let it form us.

4. The Second Mark of a Family: Passing the Story on

Embracing the story though, is only part of what it means to be identified as a member of a family. The act of embracing is an introspective movement; it is directed towards ourselves. If we are left only embracing, then we are not members of the family, but consumers, parasites of it. The second element of the Orthodox definition of family leads us out of ourselves, and brings us into relationship with the world. This is the importance of sharing the tradition with others.

The familial responsibility for passing the story, the tradition, on to others is grounded in the Holy Scriptures. In the New Testament, when Jesus sends the twelve apostles out on their first mission of preaching the Gospel, He exhorts them, "freely you have received, freely give."(Mt. 10:8) Likewise, what we have received from those who have came before us, we are called to freely give to those who come after us.

We find a similar understanding of family as a bearer of tradition in the Old Testament. One of the primary devotional tools of Judaism is the "Shema," which is a compilation of Scriptures speaking of God's Covenant with Israel; it is the Old Testament equivalent of the Creed. Part of the Shema is taken from the book of Deuteronomy, chapter six, verses four to nine. This Scriptural passage clearly shows the importance Israel placed on families of passing on the story to subsequent generations:

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one; and you shall love the Lord God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words which I command you this day shall be upon your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise... And you shall rewrite them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (RSV)

In a similar fashion, the Church Fathers teach that this idea is at the very heart of God's command to our first parents: "increase and multiply" (Gen.l:28). St. Gregory of Nyssa said that "increase" in its very essence meant "grow in perfection,"and "multiply" meant share the way of perfection with all humanity: "Let not the knowledge regarding God be confined to only one person. Rather let the Gospel of salvation be declared to the whole earth."

Likewise, St. John of Damascus says: "The command "Be fruitful and multiply" certainly does not refer exclusively to multiplication through marital union. It is necessary that we understand the lawful commandment more spiritually. For there is a spiritual seed and a conception which takes place in the spiritual womb through the fear and love for God, and it labours and delivers a spirit of salvation."

True "fruitfulness," then, is not based on whether or not one is married, or whether a married couple can have children. Rather, "fruitfulness" is based on how faithfully and how well they are able to pass the tradition that they embrace down to others. In a similar vein, when we speak of "fatherhood" or "motherhood" in Orthodoxy, we speak not only of biological or legal states, but, in their very essence, we speak of those who faithfully pass on the story to others. Thus, we speak of the priest as "father;" likewise, we call the Saints our holy fathers and mothers.

On the other side of the relationship, our "children" become all those who receive from us, and embrace, the story we are passing on. It is for this reason that it is not inappropriate to include the petitions for healthy children in marriages of older believers. Their "children" might not be the product of biological reproduction, but they can be the product of proclaiming the Gospel through Christ-centered living.

5. What, Then, Constitutes a Family?

Having said this, we now come to an interesting and important conclusion. Based on the definition of family as tradition-bearer, we can say that there is a wide scope in the Orthodox Christian vision of what a family is. Indeed, the most familiar definition of "family" would be mother, father and children. But in Orthodoxy a family can be any group of people that embrace and pass a common story of who they are, how they came to be, where they are going, and how they get there. Thus, for example, a monastic community is a family; this is why we speak of monks and nuns in familial terms, father ("abba"), mother ("amma"), brother and sister.

Another example of this can be found in the history of the Ukrainian Orthodox Church. In the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries we find in Ukraine the emergence of groups of married faithful who dedicated their time and effort to the enrichment of Church life. They would give financial and material assistance to the Church, and organize Christian philanthropic efforts in their local communities. These groups called themselves "Brotherhoods."

A modern example of how Orthodoxy views the family can be found in response to a debate which has emerged on the INTERNET about the ancient Christian rite of "Bratotvorennya" ("The Making of Brothers"), which is referred to in a book by the historian John Boswell, Same Sex Unions in Pre-Modern Europe. Boswell's assertion is that this rite refers to an ancient Christian rite of same-sex marriage; needless to say, this idea has created a fair-sized stir among both homosexual and homophobic Orthodox Christians. We cannot agree with Boswell that this rite constitutes a same-sex marriage service because it does not contain the acts of Betrothal or Crowning, which are essential in the Orthodox wedding rite. However, based on the idea of family as tradition-bearer, we can accept that.through it two men or two women became "family." That is, united in bearing a common tradition, they became "brothers" or "sisters," and took with them into that new relationship all of the implications of these terms. This calls to mind Jesus' assertion that His true mother and brothers are those who hear the word of God, and keep-it.

A final, modern example of how the idea of "family as tradition-bearer" is manifested in Orthodoxy is the "Rite of Adoption" found in some English-language Orthodox service books. Through this rite, adoptive parents and children offer their relationship to Christ, asking that, that which has been effected legally through the civil adoption also be effected spiritually by Divine blessing. The Prayer at the Bowing of the Heads for this service states:

Master, Lord our God, Maker of all creation, through Adam You forged the first bond of natural kinship in the flesh. Through Christ Jesus, Your Beloved Son, You, O our God, made us Your kinsmen by grace. To You, to Whom all things are known before they take place, these Your servants have bowed their heads, asking Your blessing. As they enter into this bond of parent to child, grounded in Your Fatherhood, may they know the hoped for blessings, discharging their duties in a manner worthy of this new state and of their adoption in You. So that in this, as in all things, Your all-holy name may be glorified, with that of Your only-begotten Son and of Your Holy Spirit, now and always and forever and ever [sic].[1]

By stating that the relationship of the adoptive family is "grounded in the Fatherhood of God," we acknowledge the common Source for who we are, how we came to be, where we are going, and what we need to do to get there. It is this grounding ultimately that makes any group of like-minded believers family. Thus, the Lord's Prayer has us call upon God as "Our Father" and not "My Father."

6. Conclusion: What does this Mean for us in our Families?

We can see, then, that the idea of tradition-bearing is central to the identity of the family. The way in which we personally embrace our story, and our effectiveness in passing it on to others, greatly influences the way we live in our families and how we teach our "children" to live in family. To conclude our discussion, then, let us now look at what the idea of family as bearer of tradition means for us in our families.

The first thing we must accept is that every family is a tradition-bearer; every family has a "tradition." This idea is supported by the social sciences in the "Systems Theory" of family dynamics and therapy. Family Systems Theory states that, in our families, we all learn certain "rules" of behaviour. These rules govern both our actions and our inner attitudes, teaching us about who we are, how we got here and where we are going, which we can identify as the "tradition" each family bears.

Related to the reality that every family bears a tradition is a second, very important point. The "tradition" which we embrace and bear is not always a healthy one. Family "tradition" can, and naturally should, be life-affirming; the ultimate example of a life-affirming tradition, of course, is the Gospel. However, a family can also bear life-taking traditions, such as cycles of abuse or addiction. It is not infrequent to hear of a person swearing as an adolescent never to fall into the same kind of dysfunctional relationships they saw their parents have, only to follow exactly in the footsteps of mother and father as they get married.

As "parents," godparents, grandparents, spiritual parents, we must keep in mind that we are always "traditioning" attitudes and actions on to others, both verbally and through non-verbal signals. I recall once when I was a seminarian, a young priest with two young children asked me, as the son of a priest, what the most important thing I thought a priest could do for his family. I told him that there must be consistency, between what his family hears him preach at the divine services, and what he "preaches" by his words and actions at home; if there is no consistency, then the message that he "traditions" to his family is that our "Church life" and our "real life" are two separate things.

This awareness of our tradition-bearing must shape how we live our lives, both in our immediate family, and in the greater family to which we belong. As Christian family members we must take on the responsibility of doing two thing. First, we must embrace the Orthodox Christian Tradition with which we identify ourselves whole-heartedly. This involves holding and learning the Tradition unconditionally, without compromise. If we look upon even certain elements of the Faith as "up for negotiation," then we are traditioning the idea that all faith is up for negotiation.

Secondly, we must share that which we embrace in ways which are tangible and meaningful for our family. Modern psychology agrees that ritual increases family cohesion, the family's sense of "we-ness." Some of the means in which we embrace and pass on the tradition are general means, such as attending worship together, having a family rule of prayer, keeping fasts and feasts. Other means will be more unique; these can include both cultural expressions of the Faith (such as Paschal eggs, for example), and unique family-specific rituals (for example, the family helping out at a soup kitchen every Thanksgiving as an act of gratitude to God for all His blessings).

Also, as Christians, we must remember that we belong to a wider-defined family as well; consequently, we must apply these two precepts which we mentioned, to our wider understanding of family. We embrace the story whole-heartedly, then, not only for ourselves, not only for our kin, but for our parish family, and also for the "family" of the whole human community and the whole of created nature. This is why, for example, the Eucharist is so all-encompassing; that is, we offer the gifts "on behalf of all and for all. (this is especially evident in the Eucharistic Prayer of St. Basil the Great). This is because the Eucharist is the ultimate proclamation and affirmation of who we are, how we came to be, where we are going and how we get there.

Likewise, we must be willing and ready to share the Tradition with all those who seek it out, in ways that will be meaningful for them. This is where language and an awareness of the cultural values is of utmost importance. In North America, this work has a twofold characteristic. First, it involves maintaining those expressions that are meaningful for those who already identify themselves with the family. Secondly, this work involves forming meaningful expressions for those on the outside of the historical Orthodox cultures who are seeking entrance into the Orthodox Christian family. This work involves a polarity between the spiritual treasures of our "ancestral homelands," and those potential treasures of our new home; this is the delicate balance that Orthodoxy in North America finds herself seeking to keep in our day and age.

In our world we find the family is one of the most misunderstood and misinterpreted of all entities. We are boldly told that it is both politically incorrect to use words such as "father,""mother," and that those who live outside of the "mom, dad, and the kids" model are either pining to get inside, or mentally challenged. Often we will hear both messages in the same periodicals or television shows.

Orthodoxy, as usual, provides a refreshing balance in the midst of these extremist views. First, we fervently assert that families are not just those people related to us through genetics or legalistic contract. A family is those people who identify themselves as one by embracing and passing on the common story. For Orthodox Christians, this story is the Gospel as expressed through Holy Scripture and Holy tradition.

Moreover, we maintain that at its very core the family is a God-given body, based on the Fatherhood of our Heavenly Father Himself. For this reason, families can have many "appropriate" forms. And in the end, sharing the same Fatherhood, we are called to live as brothers and sisters, maintaining the Tradition of healing and peace handed down to us by our God and Father. In fact, Orthodoxy maintains that there is only one True family, the family of God, the "House of Israel," and all other families are iconic representations of our Family. This reality is a profound and powerful one, leading us to be able to embrace even those who hate us, calling them brother, as we sing during the Paschal Matins. Because at our core, we all share the common Source of who we are, how we came to be, where we are going and how we get there - God the Father Almighty, the Maker of all things, visible and invisible.

[1] Sacraments [sic] and Services: Book Two, Rev. Dr. Leonidas Contos, translator (Narthex Press, Northridge, CA, 1995), pp.26 and 27.

source: http://www.pravmir.com/article_902.html

Marriage: Investment, Covenant, or Sacrament?

2010-07-02T15:44:00.001-04:00

Consider the following situation: you are shopping at the grocery store when you notice a young couple in the aisle ahead of you, filling their cart from a single list, stopping occasionally to embrace and kiss one another—the picture of happiness and harmony. If you were to assume that these two are newly-weds enjoying a blissful morning of shopping together, I have bad news: you are a social dinosaur.
The reality is, it’s long past the time when we could presume that people who appear to be married are actually so. Indeed, I do not think it would be overstating the matter to say that in the 21st century, couples who live together conjugally without actually being married are the rule rather than the exception.
Why is this so? Many answers might be offered, but I would suggest that the predominance of social utilitarianism has much to do with it. Utilitarianism, a philosophy that drives much of modern life, basically teaches that the purpose of society is to achieve the greatest good for the greatest number of people.
Applied to marriage, utilitarianism says that the purpose of the relationship is to give the couple the most possible mutual happiness. Marriage is seen as an investment whose ultimate purpose is to be profitable for both partners.
In this light, it is hardly surprising that people choose to “test drive” their conjugal relationships. After all, no wise investor would put down a cent without first determining what dividends he or she is likely to reap. Living with someone before deciding on a lifelong commitment is just good business sense…
Of course, there is a problem. A human relationship is not a business venture. People are not collections of assets to be accessed by others. When I relate to my wife, I am not merely offering one kind of happiness (financial security, for instance) in exchange for another (for instance, her maintenance of the home and care of the children).

If I relate to my wife in this way, as if she is a means to an end, then she ceases to be a person and become an object, to be used for my self-centred purposes. The utilitarian, “investment” approach to marriage, as reasonable as it first appears, is ultimately an exercise in depersonalization and dehumanization.
But if marriage is not an investment, how should we view it? In ancient societies, the answer was clear: marriage was a covenant between two people. Having agreed on the “goods” of marriage (companionship, children, stability and security), a man and a woman made a public declaration of a lifelong commitment to one another. According to the Roman definition of marriage, marriage is “the sharing of the whole of life.”
The covenant view of marriage does not ask, “Why should I commit to this person? What’s in it for me?” Rather, it assumes a shared set of values and publicly declares a commitment to uphold those values. When David made a covenant of friendship with Jonathan, he swore to uphold the love they already had for one another. When God made covenants with Israel, He swore to abide by His faithfulness to previous generations.
And when I make a covenant of marriage with my wife, I am swearing to uphold the values we share around our faith, childrearing beliefs, and so on. I do not ask myself how much happiness I can gain from our life together. Rather, I commit to her personally because it is good to do so, regardless of my personal happiness.
But is marriage nothing more than a covenant bond, a couple’s public commitment to sharing the whole of life together?
Speaking as an Orthodox Christian, I would say that marriage must both involve and transcend such a bond. While a couple needs to be committed to values greater than their own happiness if they want to make a lasting and harmonious marriage, their ultimate goal is to make the relationship itself into an encounter with the very wellspring of their conjugal life. In short, they are called to make their marriage a sacrament.
According to the Orthodox Christian understanding, a sacrament is the point of intersection between God and creation. By this definition, the original Sacrament is the Person of Jesus Christ—God fully revealed in a human being. And since Jesus’ humanity was the central point of God’s self-revelation, all of human life (and by extension, all of the cosmos) becomes a point of encounter with God—a Sacrament.
The so-called “sacraments” of the Church are formal ways in which we proclaim and uphold the sacramental power of all life. In Baptism we claim the foundational element (water) as a meeting-place with God. In the Eucharist we claim the most basic of human activities (eating) as a way to enter God’s presence.
By extension, Orthodox Christianity understands marriage in sacramental terms. Men and women are called to show forth Christ and His Church through their conjugal union and daily family life. As the couple love and serve each other, they reveal the Incarnate love of God in their domestic corner of the cosmos.
Like the rites of Baptism and the Eucharist, the rite of matrimony is a formal way in which the Church proclaims the sacramental nature of a marriage. And just as being baptised or receiving the Eucharist does not prevent a person from abandoning their faith or committing sins, the rite of matrimony itself does not achieve any transformation in a marriage; it is not magic, but rather a challenge for Christians to incarnate the presence of Jesus Christ in their marriage. How they answer that call is entirely up to them.
In other words, the sacramental view of marriage begins where the covenantal view leaves off. This is clear in the Eastern Orthodox rite of matrimony, which is conspicuously lacking a set of vows for the bride and the groom. Why? Because it is assumed and understood that the couple already know and embrace the goods of marriage and have made a covenant with one another to share the whole of life. The focus of the service lies elsewhere, on calling the couple to make their relationship a revelation of Christ.
This vocation is a profoundly personal endeavour. I am lovingly faithful to my wife not because of the happiness I hope to gain from our relationship (as an investment), nor even because I am trying to uphold our shared values (as a covenant), but because of who she is, in all her uniqueness and beauty. But “who she is” is not the ultimate point either; after all, she is not an object of worship. The intimacy of our marriage leads us to encounter the One in whose image and likeness each of us was made.
The personal encounter of a sacramental marriage ultimately leads to a personal encounter with God, without losing what is unique in the bond between husband and wife. In wedding and loving each other face to face, we come face to face with the divine Bridegroom, the Lover of our souls. In being joined to one another, we experience the joining of God to humanity, of heaven to earth, in a union that will have no end.

source: http://www.pravmir.com/article_988.html

Love: An ever expanding circle

2010-07-01T15:42:00.001-04:00

Marriage unites two people in a growing bond of love and makes them "one." But marriage involves more than the two people being united. The relationship between each individual and their family and friends is going to change __ sometimes dramatically. In some instances, old friendships will slowly disappear. Family relationships will not disappear, however, and each partner in a marriage will acquire a new or "extended family."
From an Orthodox point of view, parents and family are very important. An Orthodox couple who are planning to marry should work out their relationship with each other's parents and family before their marriage takes place. Much pain and difficulty can be avoided if there is a loving, harmonious relationship among the extended family, on both sides. The basis for this love and harmony is the love between husband and wife. A person is expected to "leave mother and father and cling" to one another. In reality, however, when a couple marry, each of them usually marries into a new family of in-laws. The manner in which each spouse relates to the new "expanded family" can have a dramatic effect on the condition of the marriage. It should not always be this way, but it usually is, and this should be taken into account in the early stages of planning for a marriage. There are two special reasons for this in modern society.
First of all, we do not have the cultural and social support which existed in previous times, and which controlled and helped shape our clan and tribal relationships. The old, clear and inviolable standards of relationships __ even the beautiful and enduring Serbian "Kumstvo" __ have all but vanished in the modern hi-tech and highly mobile society.
The second problem is complex; we find that marriages in which a young couple live at home and go directly from their family setting into marriage, are especially vulnerable. This was not the case when the former cultural and social frameworks were strong, but it is now. We now find that when two people have lived on their own for a while and "discovered themselves" before they enter into marriage, the marriage tends to be stronger. There are clear reasons for this, but it is an unfortunate situation. From a spiritual point of view, it is better if a person does not live alone, subjected to extra temptations. It is better to live with one's family, and leave home only when one marries but, in our society, this is only an ideal. When it does happen, each partner is obviously more closely bound to his or her family, and too often the other partner is not merely marrying the spouse, he or she is "marrying the spouses family."

It is important for the priest to discuss this with a couple who plan to marry. It is important for a couple to realize that their love is going to have to extend outward to their new relatives. Their love must expand beyond themselves and encompass the "new family" they are marrying into.
Each partner should weigh his or her relationship with and feelings toward the extended family and realize the full implications it holds for their marriage. This matter must be examined and discussed frankly as part of the priest's preparatory discussions with the couple.
In marriage, love must be an ever expanding circle. Our children naturally expand its boundaries, but each partner must expect and understand the full implication of "sharing their love" with each other's family. They should also understand the proper boundaries to this sharing of love, and firmly resolve that their love for each other and the marriage are their first considerations. The couple should carefully resolve, ahead of time, questions about the limits of their parents influence and involvement in their married life. They must put each other first and their marriage above every consideration, while resolving to love and respect each other's parents and relatives.
The priest, counselling a couple who desire to be married, should never neglect to discuss this important matter of relationships with the "extended family." Continued parental dependency in one or both marriage partners is a frequent source of conflict and stress. It occurs predominantly by (but not exclusively among) individuals who have not lived away from home before their marriage.
Over dependency on parents and/or parental over protectiveness can be a real destroyer of marriages if it is not recognized and dealt with effectively. Gentleness, compassion and understanding are necessary in these cases, but firmness and a primary loyalty to the spouse are equally necessary.
Other related problems are discussed in the section, "Stress Points in Marriage."
Stress Points in Marriage
There are many stress points in marriage, and we cannot discuss all of them here. There is, however, one important and pivotal problem which must be looked at.
One major stress point which can be quite serious, and which often requires special love and work to come through, is the differing rate of growth and maturity which is often experienced by each partner in a marriage.
In this present context, let us repeat something that was said earlier. None of us is a "complete package." We are all constantly changing, hopefully growing and developing. No two people grow and develop at the same rate and to the same degree. Unfortunately, some of us actually stop growing mentally, emotionally and spiritually, and begin to stagnate and then degenerate. Often the elusive, almost un-definable gradual breakdown in a marriage is precisely this difference in the growth and development of the partners in marriage. It does not matter whether both partners are working outside the home or the wife is working in the home, one of the two will almost certainly mature more quickly and more completely, and the spiritual, emotional and intellectual growth rate may very easily be different. This difference in development can cause a subtle development of a gulf or division between a couple and, very often, neither party realizes the source of the gradual feeling of "drifting apart." If they do realize it, it can be difficult to discuss in a positive manner. Men often feel threatened by a wife's growth and women who work in the home often feel oppressed and "cheated" of the opportunity to grow.
Actually, in a relationship with true love and commitment, a couple should grow and develop not merely with each other, but because of each other. It is important to realize the possibility of this problem arising and discuss it at the very beginning of a marriage; indeed, it should be an integral part of the pre-marital counselling. Personal and individual growth, maturing and development is something that should be planned for, and from the very beginning of an Orthodox marriage, it should be resolved that this process is going to be founded on genuine spiritual growth. It should be clearly understood that mutual spiritual growth and development is a fundamental reason for an Orthodox marriage in the first place. If this is clearly established, and the possibility of differing rates of intellectual and emotional maturing is understood from the beginning, it will be infinitely easier to cope with such a problem if it should arise. Any family, whether it consists only of husband and wife, or includes a number of children, must constantly struggle to grow, develop and mature spiritually, emotionally and intellectually together, as a unit. This is difficult to accomplish and, from an Orthodox perspective, it requires much prayer and a clearly Christ-centred family life.
It is evident that this is something which must be carefully planned for in pre-marriage discussions and during the early years of a marriage. From an Orthodox Christian perspective, it is an essential part of the reason for a couple to want to marry each other, and it is a fundamental aspect of the very nature of marriage.

source: http://www.pravmir.com/article_1007.html

On Marriage and Family Life

2010-06-30T15:40:00.001-04:00

Foreword

There are many religious treatises to be found on monasticism, but there are too few books dedicated to acquainting the contemporary reader with the Christian concept of matrimony. And yet the majority of Christians choose the path of the wedded state, called by the Holy Fathers “the harbor of chastity.”

However, our life is usually spent in worry over obtaining one’s daily bread, and the mutual limitations and sinfulness of the spouses often leave a noticeable trace on the relations between husband and wife. Gradually the feelings which had made the young lovers the happiest people on earth begin to fade, grow scanty; the light of sacrifice and chivalry begins to dim; daily routine makes communion between the spouses lackluster. The experience of the crowned royals Nicholas and Alexandra was obviously quite different. Innate nobility, purity of feelings and intentions were united with a well thought out effort to maintain and guard the union which truly became a model for their loyal subjects.

While reading books, Empress Alexandra wrote out excerpts which accorded most fully with her own experience of marriage. The inner power of these notes lies in the virtuous way of life of the pious Empress, who was totally dedicated to the ideal of the family. It is for this reason that these excerpts reflect calmness, total sincerity, and celestial beauty. In our times, when the very basic human concepts of duty, honor, conscience, responsibility, and faithfulness are questioned and even mocked, the reading of these notes becomes a real spiritual event. Counsels, warnings to the spouses, thoughts on true and false love, reflections on the relations between close relatives, testimony concerning the definitive significance of the home atmosphere in determining a child’s nature – such is the circle of ethical problems with which the Empress is concerned.

The Empress helps us take a fresh look at the divine establishment of marriage and to value this gift in the light of Christian love.

Matrimony is a blessing from God

The divine design is to have marriage bring happiness, to have it make the husband’s and wife’s life fuller, so that neither of them would lose, but both would gain. However, if the marriage does not bring happiness and does not make life richer and fuller, the fault lies not in the matrimonial ties, but in the people who are bound by them.

Marriage is a divine rite. It was part of God’s design when He created man. It is the closest and the most holy union on earth.

The anniversary of marriage must always be remembered and must be distinguished among other important dates in one’s life. It is the day whose light will shine upon all other days until the end of life. The joy arising from entering into matrimony is not turbulent, but calm and profound. Over the wedded pair standing before the altar, when hands are joined and sacred promises are made, angels invisibly stand and quietly sing their songs, and afterwards they cover the happy pair with their wings, as the newlyweds’ mutual life begins.

Without God’s blessing, without His sanctification of the marriage, all the congratulations and best wishes of relatives will remain an empty sound. Without His daily blessing of married life even the most tender and true love will not be able to fulfill the spouses’ hearts. Without the blessing of heaven all the beauty, joy, value of married life may be destroyed at any moment.

Requisite qualities of the spouses

The first lesson that must be learned and put into practice is patience. The beginning of wedded life reveals both the qualities of character and nature, as well as shortcomings and peculiarities of habits, tastes, temperament, of which the other half was completely unaware. Sometimes it seems that it will be impossible to adjust to each other, that there will be eternal and hopeless conflicts, but patience and love overcome everything, and two lives unite into one – a nobler, stronger, fuller, richer one, and this life will continue in peace and tranquility.

Another secret of bliss in married life is attention to each other. The husband and wife should constantly show signs of the most tender attention and love for each other. Happiness in life is made up of individual moments, of small pleasures – a kiss, a smile, a kind glance, a heartfelt compliment, and countless small but kind thoughts and sincere feelings. Love also needs its daily bread.

Still another important element in married life is unity of interests. Not a single concern of the wife should appear too trivial, even to the gigantic intellect of the greatest of men. On the other hand, each wise and faithful wife will willingly interest herself in her husband’s affairs. She will want to know of his every new project, plan, difficulty, doubt. She will want to know which of his enterprises has been successful and which has not, and she will wish to be informed of all his daily affairs. Let both hearts share joy and suffering. Let them share the burden of cares equally. Let everything in life be common to both of them. They should go to church together, pray together, together lay at God’s feet the burden of their concerns for their children and all that is precious to them. Why should they not discuss with each other their temptations, doubts, secret desires, and not help each other with compassion and words of encouragement? Thus they will live a single life, not two separate ones. Each one should make sure to think of the other when making plans or entertaining hopes. They should have no secrets from each other. They should have only mutual friends.

In this manner two lives will unite into a single life, and in such a marriage each other’s thoughts, desires, feelings, joy, sorrow, pleasure, and pain will be shared.

Love requires a special delicacy. One can be both sincere and loyal, and yet one’s words and actions may lack that certain tenderness which enchants the heart. Here is a piece of advice: do not show your bad mood or that you are offended, do not speak in anger, do not act badly. Not a single woman in the world will be so upset over any sharp or thoughtless words you may utter as your own wife. And more than anything in the world you should fear to offend her. Love does not give one the right to act harshly towards the person one loves. The closer one is involved, the more the heart is pained by any glance, tone of voice, gestures or words that speak of irritation or are simply thoughtless.

It is not only the husband’s happiness in life that depends on the wife, but also the development and growth of his character. A good wife is a blessing from heaven, the best gift for a husband, his angel and his source of countless benefits: her voice is the sweetest music to him, her smile lights up his day, her kiss is the guardian of his faithfulness, her hands are like balm for his health and his entire life, her industriousness is the pledge of his well-being, her thrift is his most reliable manager, her lips are his best counselor, while her prayers are his intercessor before the Lord.

There is something sacred and almost awe-inspiring in the fact that upon entering into marriage the wife concentrates all her interests upon the one whom she is taking for her husband. She leaves her childhood home, leaves her mother and father, breaks off all the ties which bound her to her former life. She leaves off all the entertainments to which she had earlier become accustomed. She gazes into the face of the one who has asked her to become his wife, and with a trembling heart but calmly and resolutely entrusts her life to him. And the husband joyously feels this trust, which engenders a whole life of happiness in the human heart that is capable both of inexpressible joy and boundless suffering.

In the fullest sense of the word the wife gives up everything for her husband. This is an important moment for any man – to take on responsibility for a young, fragile, and tender life that has entrusted itself to him, and to care for it and protect it until death tears his treasure away from him or, conversely, strikes him.

Every loyal wife becomes engrossed in her husband’s interests. When he is having a hard time, she tries to encourage him with her sympathy and show of love. She enthusiastically support all his plans. She is never a burden upon his shoulders, but rather a strength in his heart, which helps him to constantly improve. However, not all wives are a blessing for their husbands. Some women can be compared to a creeping ivy that encircles a mighty oak – her husband.

A loyal wife ennobles her husband’s life, makes it more significant by turning it toward lofty aspirations through the strength of her love. When she embraces him trustingly and lovingly, she awakens in him his noblest and richest character traits. She encourages courage and responsibility in him She makes his life wonderful and softens any rough edges or habits he may have.

But there are also wives who are like parasitic plants. They encircle the husband, but do not share anything with him. They do not offer any help to him. They loll around on sofas, stroll along the street, moon over sentimental novels, and gossip in salons. They are absolutely useless, and as such they become a burden for even the most tender love. Instead of making their husbands’ lives stronger, richer, and happier, they only hamper his success. The results are lamentable for themselves as well. A loyal wife embraces her husband, but she also helps and inspires him. In all aspects of his life her husband feels how much her love helps him. A good wife is the guardian of the family hearth.

Some women think only of romantic ideals and shun their daily responsibilities, thus weakening their family happiness. In this case even the most tender love is often destroyed, and the reason for it is disorderly, negligent, and poor housekeeping.

A woman is endowed with the gift of sympathy, with delicacy, with the ability to inspire. This makes her similar to a messenger from Christ, whose mission is to ease human suffering and sorrow.

If knowledge constitutes the power of men, then softness constitutes the power of women. Heaven always blesses the home of the one who lives for good. A loyal wife places the fullest trust in her husband. She does not conceal anything from him. She does not listen to words of flattery from others, which she would be embarrassed to tell him about. She shares with him her every feeling, hope, desire, her every joy or sorrow. Whenever she feels herself disappointed or insulted, she may be tempted to seek sympathy by telling close friends about her emotions. Nothing can be more destructive, both for her own interests and for restoring peace and harmony in her home. The bitterness of which one complains to outsiders remains a festering wound. A wise wife will never share her secret unhappiness with anyone but her husband, because only he can resolve all quarrels and disagreements by means of patience and love.

Purity of thought and purity of soul – this is what truly ennobles a woman. It is impossible to think of true femininity without purity. It is possible to guard this sacred purity even surrounded by a world sunk in sin and depravity. “I saw a lily floating in the black water of a swamp. Everything around it was rotting, but the lily remained pure like an angel’s raiment. Ripples appeared on the dark pond, they swayed the lily, but not a single spot appeared on it.” Thus even in our immoral world a young woman can keep her soul untarnished by radiating sacred and unselfish love.

Love between the spouses

The main requisite in a family is unselfish love. Each spouse should forget his own ego and dedicate himself to the other person. Each one should blame himself and not the other person when something goes wrong. One needs to possess restraint and patience, since impatience can spoil everything. A harsh word can delay the merging of the spouses’ souls for months. There should be a desire on both sides to make the marriage a happy one and to overcome everything that stands in the way of such a goal. The strongest love has the greatest need of daily fortification. Most unforgivable of all is precisely rudeness in one’s own home, towards those whom we love.

One word envelops everything, and that word is “love.” Within the word “love” there is a whole volume of thoughts on life and responsibility, and when we study this volume thoroughly and attentively, each of these thoughts comes through clearly and distinctly.

Love reveals many things in a woman that cannot be seen by outsiders. It throws a veil over her shortcomings and transforms even the simplest of her traits.

Another important element of family life is the attitude of love towards one another; it is not simply love, but love nurtured within a family’s daily life, love expressed in words and actions. Courtesy in the home should not be formal, but sincere and natural. Children need joy and happiness just as much as plants need air and sunlight.

The spouses’ responsibilities

After the wedding is concluded, a husband’s first and foremost responsibility is to his wife, and the wife’s to her husband. The two of them should live for one another, give up their life for one another. Formerly each one of them was incomplete. Marriage is the joining of two halves into a single whole. Two lives are tied together in such a close union that they are no longer two lives, but one. Each one bears the sacred responsibility for the happiness and greatest good of the other for the rest of his or her life.

Each wife should know that when she finds herself in a state of confusion or difficulty, she will always find a safe and quiet harbor in the love of her husband. She should know that he will always be understanding towards her, will treat her very delicately, will even use force to defend her. She should never doubt the fact that he will empathize with her in all her difficulties. She should never be afraid to be met with coldness or rebuke when she comes to him, seeking his protection.

A husband should ask his wife’s advice concerning all his affairs and all his plans, and should have confidence in her. Perhaps she does not understand business affairs in the same way he does, but she will possibly be able to make valuable suggestions, since a woman’s intuition often works faster than a man’s logic. But even if a wife cannot help her husband in his business, her love for him makes her deeply interested in all his concerns. And she is happy when he asks her for advice, and thus they grow even closer.

A husband’s hands, inspired by love, should be able to do everything. Every loving husband should have a grand heart. Many sufferers should be able to find help in a truly loving family. Every husband of a Christian wife should unite with her in love for Christ. Out of love for her he will pass all trials of faith. In sharing her life, which is filled with faith and prayer, he, too, will unite his life with Heaven. United on earth by a common faith in Christ, reforging their mutual love into love for God, they will also be eternally united in Heaven.

A loyal wife does not have to be a poet’s dream, nor pretty as a picture, nor a creature of ethereal beauty whom one fears to touch, but should be a healthy, strong, practical, industrious woman, capable of coping with all family duties, and yet marked with a beauty that is granted to a soul that has a lofty and noble goal.

The primary requirement for a wife is faithfulness, faithfulness in the widest possible sense. Her husband’s heart should be able to trust her completely. Absolute trust is the foundation of true love. The shadow of doubt destroys the harmony of family life. A faithful wife proves by her character and conduct that she is worthy of her husband’s trust. He is sure of her love, he knows that her heart is eternally loyal to him. He knows that she is sincerely supportive of his interests. It is highly important for a husband to be able to entrust the handling of all family affairs to his loyal wife, knowing that everything will be in order. The wastefulness and extravagance of some wives have destroyed the happiness of many a couple.

A wife’s main duty is to establish and run her household. She should be magnanimous and kind-hearted. A woman whose heart remains untouched by the sight of misfortune, who does not try to help as much as she can, is deprived of one of the major womanly characteristics that make up the basis of the female nature. A true wife shares with her husband the burden of his cares. Whatever else a man goes through during the day, when he comes home he should find himself in an atmosphere of love. His friends may betray him, but his wife’s loyalty should remain constant. When darkness and misfortune befall a husband, his wife’s loyal eyes look at him like stars of hope shining in this darkness. When he is depressed, her smile helps him find new strength, just as a ray of sunshine straightens out a wilting flower.

Trials

Through the fault of those who have become married, either one or both, wedded life can become a misfortune. The possibility of happiness in marriage is great, but one should also not forget about the possibility of its crashing. Only a correct and wise married life can help achieve ideal relations between the spouses.

You should fear the least sign of incipient disobedience or alienation. Instead of acting in a restrained manner, the husband or the wife says an ill-advised or careless word, and suddenly a small crack appears between these two hearts that up to now have been one whole, and this crack widens and widens until the spouses find themselves torn apart forever. Did you say something thoughtless? Ask forgiveness immediately. Did a misunderstanding arise between you? It does not matter whose fault it was, but do not allow it to stand between you even for an hour.

Refrain from quarreling. Do not go to sleep with a feeling of anger in your heart. There should be no place for pride in family life. You should never coddle your feeling of injured pride in scrupulously trying to determine precisely who has to ask forgiveness. Those who love truly never engage in such casuistry, but are always ready to give in and apologize.

When the beauty of the face fades, the shining of the eyes dims, and with age come wrinkles, or when illnesses, sorrows, and cares leave their traces and scars, the love of a faithful husband should remain just as deep and sincere as before. There are no measurements on earth that are capable of measuring the depth of Christ’s love for His Church, and not a single mortal can love with the same depth of feeling, but nevertheless each husband must do it to the extent that such love can be recreated on earth. No sacrifice will appear too great to him for the sake of his beloved.

As the charm of physical beauty disappears with time amid cares and labors, the beauty of the soul should shine forth more and more, replacing the lost attractiveness. The wife should always be concerned above all to be attractive to her husband and not to someone else. When the two of them are alone, she should take even greater care of her appearance and not shrug it off because no one else sees her. Instead of being lively and attractive in company and then falling into melancholy and keeping quiet when left alone, the wife should remain merry and attractive even when she stays alone with her husband in their quiet home.

Both the husband and the wife should give to each other the best in each of them. Her fervent interest in all his affairs and her wise advice on all matters fortify him in the accomplishment of his daily duties and give him strength for all battles. At the same time, the wisdom and strength that a woman needs to fulfill her sacred wifely duties are to be found only in appealing to God.

Heavy work, difficulties, cares, self-sacrifice, and even misfortune lose their acuteness, bleakness, and severity when they are softened by tender love, just as cold, bare, and rugged cliffs become beautiful when wild vines entwine them with their green garlands, and exquisite flowers fill all their cracks and crevices.

Each home has its own trials, but peace reigns in a truly loving home and cannot be upset by any worldly tempests. The home is a place of warmth and tenderness. At home one should speak only with love.

Such a house can nurture only beauty and gentleness of character. One of the misfortunes of our times is that quiet family evenings are being pushed out by business, amusements, a whirling social life..

There are sorrows that wound even more than death. However, God’s love can turn any trial into a blessing.

Our love for each other may be sincere and deep on sunny days, but it is never as strong as on days of suffering and sorrow, when all the previously hidden richness of the soul is revealed.

The importance of the home

Every member of the family should take part in establishing the home, and complete family happiness can be attained only when everyone fulfills his or her duties.

The main center of each person’s life should be his home. This is the place where his children grow up – where they grow physically, strengthen their health, and absorb everything that will make them true and noble men and women. In a home where children are growing up, they are influenced by their whole environment and all that takes place around them, and even the smallest detail can have either a wonderful or a harmful effect on them. Even the surrounding nature contributes to the formation of their future character. All the beautiful things that are seen by children’s eyes become engraved upon their sensitive hearts. No matter where a child was reared, his impressions of the place where he grew up affect his character. The rooms in which our children will sleep, play, and live must be made as beautiful as our means allow. Children love pictures, and if the pictures in the home are pure and good, they will have a wonderful effect on the children and will make them more refined. But even the home itself – clean, tastefully arranged, with simple decorations and a nice view around it – has an invaluable influence on the rearing of children.

It is a great art to live together, loving each other tenderly. This must begin with the parents. Each home is like its creators. Refined natures produce a refined home, while a coarse person creates a coarse home.

Be faithful. Accept your sacred burden with reverence. The most durable ties are those which bind a person to his real home. In a real home even a small child has a voice, while the appearance of an infant affects the entire family routine. No matter how small or modest a home may be, for each member of the family it must be the most precious place on earth. It should be filled with such love, such happiness, that wherever a person travels afterwards, however many years pass, his heart must still yearn for his home. In all trials and misfortunes the home is a haven for the soul.

Each wonderful thought that comes into a child’s mind afterwards strengthens and ennobles his character. Our bodies age against our will, but why should our souls not remain forever young? It is simply criminal to suppress a child’s joy and force children to be gloomy and full of self-importance. Very soon life’s problems will lie upon their shoulders. Very soon life will bring them anxieties, cares, difficulties, and the burden of responsibility. So let them remain young and carefree as long as possible. Their childhood should be filled as much as possible with joy, light, and merry games.

Parents should not be too embarrassed to play and horse around with their children. Perhaps in those moments they are closer to God than when they are engaged in what seems to them to be important work.

Sooner or later into the life of every home comes bitter experience – the experience of suffering. There may be years of cloudless happiness, but there will definitely be sorrows. The stream that ran for so long like a burbling brook running through flowering meadows in bright sunshine will deepen, darken, will dive into a dark gorge, or rush down like a waterfall.

In like manner flows the life of a true home – sometimes in bright sunlight, sometimes in gloominess. But be it either in light or in dark, – it always teaches us to appeal to the heavens, to the Great Home in which all our dreams and hopes are embodied, where ties that have been broken off on earth are once more reunited. For everything that we have and everything that we do – we need God’s blessing. No one except God will support us in the time of great sorrow. Life is so fragile that any parting may turn out to be final. We can never be sure that we will have the chance to ask forgiveness for offensive or injurious words, or to be forgiven.

Children and their upbringing

There is no stronger emotion that the one which grips us when we hold our children in our arms. Their helplessness touches the noble strings within our hearts. Their innocence represents a purifying force for us. When there is a newborn in the home, the marriage itself seems to be reborn. The child causes the married couple to become closer than ever before. Silent strings in the heart suddenly come alive. The young parents are faced with new goals, and new desires appear. Life immediately acquires a new and deeper meaning.

A sacred burden is placed in their hands, an immortal life which they must preserve, and this imbues the parents with a sense of responsibility, causes them to think deeply. “I” is no longer the center of the universe. They have a new purpose to attain, a purpose great enough to fill up their entire life.

Our children naturally bring along with them a multitude of cares and concerns, and for this reason there are people who look upon the appearance of children as a misfortune. But it is only cold egotists who can look upon children in such a manner.

It is a momentous thing to take upon oneself the responsibility for these tender young lives, which can enrich the world with beauty, joy, and power, but which can also easily perish; it is a momentous thing to nurture them, form their character, – this is what one should think about when establishing a home. It should be a home in which children will grow up to a sincere and noble life, grow up for God.

No treasures in the world can replace for man the loss of truly incomparable treasures – his own children. There are things which God gives often, and others that are given only once. The seasons of the year pass and return again, new flowers bloom, but youth never comes twice. Childhood and all its possibilities are given only once in a lifetime. Whatever you can do to adorn it, do it quickly.

Parents should be what they wish their children to be – not in words, but in deed. They should teach their children by the example of their own life. The greatest treasure that parents can leave their children is a happy childhood, with tender memories of father and mother. It will lighten the forthcoming days, it will preserve them from temptation, and it will help them face the harsh realities of life after they leave the parental roof.

May God help each mother understand the majesty and glory of her forth-coming endeavor, when she holds at her breast her infant, whom she must nurture and bring up. As far as children are concerned, the parents’ duty is to prepare them for life, for any trials that God may send them. While the parents are alive, the child will always remain a child for them and should treat his parents with love and respect. The children’s love for their parents is expressed in complete trust in them. A real mother finds importance in everything in which her child is interested. She listens just as willingly to his adventures, joys, disappointments, achievements, plans, and dreams as other people listen to a romantic narrative.

Children should learn self-denial. They cannot have everything they want. They should learn to reject their own desires for the sake of other people. They should also learn to be solicitous. Careless people always cause harm and pain, perhaps not intentionally, but simply through negligence. Not much is needed to show concern – a word of encouragement, a little bit of tenderness when the other person seems sad, timely assistance to the one who is tired.

Children should learn to be of use to their parents and to each other. They can do this without demanding excessive attention, without fussing others. As soon as they grow up a bit, children should learn to be self-reliant, to make do without the help of others, in order to become strong and independent.

Parents are sometimes at fault for excessive anxiety or non-intelligent and constantly irritating counsels, but sons and daughters must agree that at the base of all this excessive fussing lies deep concern over them.

A noble life, a strong, honest, serious, and God-pleasing character – such is the parents’ highest reward for all the exhausting years of selfless love. May children live in such a manner that parents in their old age can be proud of them. May children fill their declining years with tenderness and affection.

Over each one of us always soars our invisible Guardian Angel.

SONNET XLIII

(This famous sonnet by the English poetess Elizabeth Barrett Browning describes extraordinarily well in verse form that same noble and beautiful love, of which the Empress-Martyr Alexandra speaks in her excerpts.)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the end of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday’s

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints, – I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! – and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

source: http://www.pravmir.com/article_947.html

Marriage and Co-habitation - Part Two

2010-06-29T15:38:00.000-04:00

Q: What does the marriage ceremony grant exactly to a couple that would help form a lasting relationship?
Fr. Yaroslav Belikow, a parish priest of Holy Virgin Joy of All Who Sorrow Cathedral, San Francisco, CA United States: An unbelieving person cannot understand what grace or God’s presence is. This is why we will address believers only.
Marriage is not simply God’s blessing for a man and a woman to live together, to give birth to children and to bring them up; marriage is also a Mystery. The Holy Church has only seven Mysteries, whereas there are many blessings – in fact for all events in life. In a Mystery, Divine Grace, not perceived by any physical feeling, is transmitted, and with its help a person becomes a new, spiritual creature. With its help people achieve their salvation. But this grace maintains intact the freedom that God has given people; it does not force them to become better, to flee from evil or to do good. When people ignore God’s grace, it gradually leaves them. Finally, grace received in a Mystery must be cherished, fostered, and cultivated in one’s heart.
This is why Baptism is a spiritual birth and it cannot be repeated, but Confession (spiritual healing) and Communion (spiritual nourishment, refreshment) are repeated.
In the Sacrament of marriage two become one flesh (Gen. 2:24). And what is meant is not sexual copulation, but spiritual unity, the unity of souls. Apostle Paul uses this line twice, “they two shall be one flesh” (Eph. 5:31 and 1 Cor. 6:16), but when a sinful copulation is meant this text is paraphrased, and the Apostle writes, “he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body” (1 Cor. 6:16), because there is no sacred unity, no Mystery there.
We often understand Christ’s words, “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, there am I in the midst of them” (Mt. 18:20) as referring to public prayer in church, not belittling private prayer at home, but only emphasizing the importance of the whole community’s prayer. But these words should also be referred to the Mystery of marriage: husband and wife are also gathered together in the name of the Lord! So, only through a wedding do husband and wife achieve sacred unity and Christ’s presence in their marriage.

Q: Is a positive, public, and committed relationship really an illegitimate relationship without a marriage ceremony?
In this case there has been no sacramental unity yet. This is why in God’s eyes this relationship is illegitimate. In marriage man and woman not only undertake mutual obligations but also take up responsibility for their marriage before the Lord. It is no secret that human emotions fluctuate. However, when the feeling is supported with the realization of commitment not only to a certain person, but also for the marriage with this person, it is easier to bear hardships that come across in married life. On the other hand, imagine what happens if today’s hardships are to be overcome with the only support of the memory of feelings one had long ago.
Q: What does a couple do if they have entered a marriage but then find out that they are not compatible? How can couples find out if they are compatible if living together is not allowed before actually formalizing a committed relationship?
A couple that finds they are not compatible should have never get married.
There is a process of courtship. Unfortunately, nowadays few people take courtship seriously. This is a wonderful time in the relationship to be used in order to get to know the other person better, to get to know yourself better, and to find out if you are compatible. Since Adam and Eve’s Fall there have been no perfect men or women. Each of us has a number of weaknesses, drawbacks, bad habits, fears, and insecurities. You should find out the main shortcomings in the person before you ‘formalize’ your relationship, and analyze yourself thoroughly: are these drawbacks suitable for me? Can I live with them? Some people think they can rectify another’s defects (why in this case don’t they rectify their own?), they believe that the other person must reform out of love, or that they can make the other person change. We are what we are. And we have to accept the person we want to join for life, for what he or she is. Or we should decide not to accept him or her; there will appear another person who will suit this one.
For deep acquaintance one needs time. I think a year and a half is enough for getting the correct idea of the person and your relationship.
There’s a wise ancient saying that to get to know a person better you have to see him or her in three situations: that is drunk, in rage, and with money. These are very characteristic, as in these situations a person becomes quite transparent, their character becomes extremely clear. I would add another idea, a state of emergency when the first instinctive reaction tells volumes about the person.
During the period of courtship you should talk a lot, discussing everything. In my experience I’ve had couples who during preparation for the wedding did not know how many children they wanted to have (for example, she wanted only one child and he not less than six), had never discussed the principles of bringing children up and other vital issues. Imagine what awful depression there would be if they wed! And we are not talking about ‘incompatibility’ yet, only personal desire on his and her part to have a certain number of children. This is only one example, and I think it illustrates the relationship well.
To find out answers to vital questions one needs a lot of time. Situations and questions appear naturally and unconstrainedly. Unfortunately, many people hurry to achieve their happiness for a lifetime, they have no patience, and many of them repent bitterly for a lifetime.
There is also one more interesting element here, that is sex. Modern society, supported by mass media, considers sex to be a harmless pastime, especially when the couple plans to be together for many years. Sex has been given to us by the Lord and it is a creative force. But when misused, it can be very destructive. Sex brings man and woman close. In the right context, it gives a more thorough understanding of each other, more tender feelings, multiplies mutual trust, and so on and so forth.
But sex is to be evaded during the period of courtship. Courtship is the time to get to know each other from all sides, all the qualities and shortcomings. If we find we are incompatible, we are not to lose time as we should break up. However, if we have had sex, on the one hand, we are much more emotionally attached than we can even imagine, and on the other hand, we do not want to lose this wonderful feeling of intimacy (and pleasure), and this is why it is harder to break up. Even if you understand that this is not your partner for life.
Sex is a very important aspect of married life. Newlyweds quickly learn that this is not the most important aspect, though.
It may sound ironic, but whereas sexual relationship brings man and woman closer, those couples who soon allow sex in their relations, often quickly part. We know that during the times when husband and wife have a crisis in their relationship, their sexual life also halts. If their relationship was based on sex, their relationship breaks and that leads to a divorce. If their relationship was built on a more stable foundation, philosophy of life, they have lesser chances to divorce.
Of course, during the period of courtship it is hard to break up with the person if you have invested lots of time, emotion, and hopes into the relationship. And imagine what happens if you live with this person? Financial issues get involved to aggravate the situation.
This is why in the seventh commandment the Lord laconically but categorically prohibits any kind of extramarital sexual encounters.
I say it again, to get to know each other better you need time, and for this you should discuss all the sides of life including sex.
Look, I have not mentioned venereal diseases and unwanted pregnancy.

Q: What are the prevailing reasons for breakups among Orthodox Christian married couples?
In the majority of cases people come to us when they have already got a civil divorce, they live separately, and one of them (or both) has committed with another person. As the most frequent reason of the breakup they mention ‘incompatibility.’ I think that 85 per cent of the divorces could have been prevented if the marriage had been worked at in proper time. The modern philosophy of life speaks of ‘instant gratification.’ As we are told that everything must come easily, at the first sight of any difficulty spouses they do not want to be patient and work at themselves and at their relationship. If they talk to their spiritual father and work at themselves and at their relationship, they can not only save their marriage but also make it stronger. Ten percent of marriages should have never taken place (and it could have been foreseen at the stage of courtship), and the remaining five percent are the result of adultery, physical violence on a spouse’s part, or dependence (on alcohol, drugs, or computer) developing in the course of time after the wedding.

source: http://www.pravmir.com/article_990.html

Questions on Marriage and Co-habitation - Part One

2010-06-28T15:36:00.000-04:00

Priests Fr. Richard Rene and Fr. Yaroslav Belikow, Sub-deacon Joseph Gingrich and Frederica Mathewes-Green answered Pravmir’s questions on marriage and cohabitation.

What does the marriage ceremony grant exactly to a couple that would help form a lasting relationship?

Fr. Richard Rene, priest of Saint Aidan Orthodox Church, Cranbrook, BC, Canada: Nothing in and of itself. After all, it is not magic! We need to remember that the rite of matrimony did not develop in the Orthodox Church until the 8th century. Until then, Christians were married in a civil ceremony (or at home), and when they came to Church to receive the Eucharist as man and wife, their marriage was blessed. A lasting marriage is built first and foremost on the mutual commitment of the couple to Jesus Christ and His Church. The rite of matrimony exists to call a couple to live this life, to make Christ manifest in their lives together. How they answer that call is entirely up to them.

Sub-deacon Joseph Gingrich, seminarian at Christ the Saviour Carpatho-Russian Orthodox Seminary in Johnstown, Pennsylvania: It grants them a sacrament. The rite of matrimony offers sanctifying grace to the couple and confers this grace upon their souls. Only a marriage in the Church facilitates this grand blessing

Frederica Mathewes-Green, noted Orthodox writer, radio commentator and speaker: The marriage ceremony is a Holy Mystery, a Sacrament, which means that something happens beyond what the human participants bring to the event. God intervenes with his Holy Spirit and creates something holy, something that did not exist before. The marriage ceremony is essential for Christians, so that this immensely significant relationship in our lives may be upheld and blessed by God.

Is a positive, public and committed relationship really an illegitimate relationship without a marriage ceremony?

Fr. Richard Rene: No. A relationship in which two people have publicly committed to sharing the whole of life is a legitimate marriage. However, if Christians marry in this way without a marriage ceremony they are not fulfilling the purpose of their marriage, which is to be an icon of Christ and His Church.

Sub-deacon Joseph Gingrich: According to canon law yes. However, canon law is only applicable to those who are members of the Church. Canon law does not apply to those who are not baptized and practicing Orthodox Christians.

Frederica Mathewes-Green: I wouldn't use the word "illegitimate." It is legitimate according to its own standards. But as it rests entirely on the man and woman involved, it is easier to break. It does not draw into witness the entire church community, even those who do not know them personally, including the witness through time. With a church wedding, the couple are surrounded and held together by a much larger, eternal community. This gives their marriage strength and significance that a mere mutual agreement would not have.

What does a couple do if they have entered a marriage but then found out that they are not compatible?

Fr. Richard Rene: Discovering compatibility is not primarily about discovering whether or not you like the same kinds of music, foods, etc. Before marriage, a couple need only discover if they share the same commitment to Christ and His Church, as well as a similar inclination in regards to the bearing and raising of children. This can be discerned through a period of courtship, no more than six months or so in duration. If a couple discovers in the midst of their marriage that they are not compatible, they need to seek marital counseling to determine what their real priorities are, and to perhaps reaffirm a central commitment to Christ.

Sub-deacon Joseph Gingrich: This is a difficult situation and no answer is simple. First and foremost the couple must participate in the sacraments of confession and communion regularly. Second, they must enter into counseling. Third, they must be willing to sacrifice and change. Whether a person is a monk or married, the path to salvation is the same. Mankind is to practice a kenotic love for his fellow human beings. This is the same in a monastery or in a marriage. The couple must love one another as Christ loved the Church. Each couple must truly be willing to sacrifice for the one they love. If the virtue of sacrifice is not there the marriage will not sanctify the couple.

Frederica Mathewes-Green: Compatibility is a moving target. Married couples continually adjust to each other over the years. In every marriage there will always be one thing that, if focused on and exaggerated, will make the partners feel they cannot bear to remain married. Compatibility can be worked at and won if the partners try to live with each other forgivingly, overlooking each other's bad or annoying habits. Sometimes marriages go through bad stretches where it seems like the relationship is over. Those who love God will get through such times just by continuing, day after day, to persevere. The way to avoid divorce is to keep on not getting divorced.

How can couples find out if they are compatible if living together is not allowed before actually formalizing a committed relationship?

Sub-deacon Joseph Gingrich: The same way people have for centuries; an honest courtship where brutally honest questions are asked of each other. Older couples in the parish should also mentor the prospective couple and go for outings with them. Also, any relationship, especially marriage, is a process of continually learning and falling more into love with the beloved other. As much as a person knows someone you can never know them in their essence. Because of this fact ultimate knowledge of the beloved can never be known and therefore a couple's love can continually grow. It takes many years to even begin to really know someone. Love is to be like a fine bottle of wine, it simply gets better over time.

What are the prevailing reasons for breakups among Orthodox Christian married couples?

Fr. Richard Rene: Despite some misleading statistics to the contrary, couples who are married according to the rite of matrimony (i.e. have a church wedding), are just as likely to divorce as couples married in a civil ceremony. And unfortunately, the reasons for divorce are exactly the same: irreconcilable differences, abandonment, abuse and adultery.

Sub-deacon Joseph Gingrich: Selfishness and lack of humility which express themselves in an unwillingness to sacrifice for the other.

Frederica Mathewes-Green: I have the impression that in traditionally Orthodox countries the divorce rate is not so high; when people move to America or a similar country, they begin to break up for the same reasons that nonbelievers do. They begin to put themselves first, to think that the relationship is not fair to them, or are tempted to be unfaithful due to the great amount of temptations in movies and entertainment. I don't think there are reasons that Orthodox couples, in particular, are tempted, but that they run into the same temptations that other people do.

source: http://www.pravmir.com/article_985.html

The Black-and-white sisters

2010-06-27T15:27:00.000-04:00

The Black-and-white sisters: "The Community of St. Elizabeth in Minsk spiritually ministers to the patients of Europe’s largest hospital for the insane, rehabilitates alcoholics in its metochion, and at the same time earns money by its own independent activity. Our report from Minsk is about this unique Sisterhood, where black and white sisters of charity – nuns and the laywomen – work."

Drug Addiction Treatment Specifically for Women: Does It Make a Difference? | Open Society Institute

2010-06-21T09:19:00.000-04:00

Drug Addiction Treatment Specifically for Women: Does It Make a Difference? | Open Society Institute: "Whenever budgets become tight, funding for women-specific programs begins to dwindle. Such has always been the case for drug addiction treatment. For years, many, including the federal government, believed that gender distinct treatment could be more effective, but little funding was allocated to research its effectiveness.

As health care reform is implemented, great challenges lie ahead to ensure the inclusion of a meaningful addiction treatment benefit. Is an addiction treatment benefit that is designed specifically for women still relevant? How could it be most effectively designed? It is time to revisit this issue so health care reform changes can result in the best possible care for women and their families."

America’s addicts are graying, study suggests - Addictions- msnbc.com

2010-06-16T08:42:00.000-04:00

America’s addicts are graying, study suggests - Addictions- msnbc.com: "'These findings show the changing scope of substance abuse problems in America,' agency administrator Pamela S. Hyde said in a statement. 'The graying of drug users in America is an issue for any programs and communities providing health or social services for seniors.'

While some people 50 and over were taking up drugs for the first time — notably cocaine users — the study found that three-quarters of older Americans admitted for treatment had started using drugs before age 25."

Religion and Spirituality from an Eastern Orthodox Perspective

2010-06-08T14:48:00.000-04:00

Ingredients for the Spiritual Life

2010-06-08T14:46:00.000-04:00

Blessed are the Poor in Spirit

2010-06-08T14:39:00.000-04:00

Elder Proclus - God Loves Humility So Much...(with English CC)

2010-06-08T14:35:00.000-04:00

More about Relationships and Sin

2010-06-08T14:30:00.000-04:00

Military Families and Deployment — Center for Deployment Psychology

2010-05-24T13:57:00.000-04:00

Military Families and Deployment — Center for Deployment Psychology: "Since the US adopted an all-volunteer military force in 1973, there have been changes in the demographic makeup of the military, including a steady increase in the proportion of married service members. While traditionally our military force consisted of service members who were largely young and single, today the number of military family members outnumbers the number of active duty military members. Currently 1.4 million service members make up the active duty armed forces, while there are close to 2 million family members of active duty military personnel, including spouses, children, and adult dependents (2007 Demographics Profile of the Military Community, DMDC, 2007)."

Home — Center for Deployment Psychology

2010-05-24T13:54:00.000-04:00

Home — Center for Deployment Psychology: "The Center for Deployment Psychology (CDP) trains military and civilian behavioral health professionals to provide high-quality deployment-related behavioral health services to military personnel and their families."

Ramblings of a Country Priest

2010-05-12T08:27:00.000-04:00

Ramblings of a Country Priest
Our conversation with Maynard, part 2. Maynard continues his talk about his 30 plus years in recovery.

Ramblings of a Country Priest

2010-05-12T08:25:00.000-04:00

Ramblings of a Country Priest
Our conversation with Maynard, part 1. Maynard discusses his 30 plus years in recovery.

How do you Feel?

2010-05-11T09:00:00.000-04:00

Lord, I feel.....

Beaten...yet
You have made me more than a conqueror (Rom 8:37).
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us

Bound....yet
You are my deliverer (Rom 11:26).
And so all Israel will be saved, as it is written: "The deliverer will come from Zion; he will turn godlessness away from Jacob.

Confused....yet
You are my counselor (Isa 9:6).
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, [a] Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

A failure....yet
You have made me an overcomer (1 Jn 5:4).
For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith

Fearful....yet
You did not give me a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, andof a sound mind (2 Tim 1:7).
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

Friendless....yet
You are a friend who sticks closer to me than a brother (Prov 18:24).
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

In darkness....yet
You are a light unto my path and a lamp unto my feet (Ps 119:105).
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

Lonely.....yet
You promised never to leave me nor forsake me (Heb 13:5).
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you;never will I forsake you."

Misjudged....yet
I'm accepted and approved by You (Eph 1:4).
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love

Poor....yet
You supply all my need according to Your riches in glory (Phil 4:19).
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Sick....yet
You are the Lord who heals all my diseases (Ps 103:3).
…who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,

Troubled....yet
You are my peace (Jn 14:27).
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you asthe world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Unclean....yet
You are the purifier and refiner of my life (Mal 3:3).
He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify theLevites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will havemen who will bring offerings in righteousness,

Vulnerable....yet
You are my strength and my strong tower (Ps 18:2).
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn [a] of my salvation, my stronghold.

Worthless....yet
You see me as a pearl of great price (Matt 13:46).
When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.

Blessed is the mother

2010-05-09T09:48:00.002-04:00

From a friend on Facebook

Blessed is the Mother
The scriptures tells us that a Godly Woman Will be blessed by her own family members. Those who know her the best will praise her the most.Will invest herself in her loved ones, and she is recognized and rewarded by the same.

Blessed is the mother who understands her child, for she shall inherit a kingdom of memories.

Blessed is the mother who knows how to comfort, for she shall possess a child's devotion.

Blessed is the mother who guides by the path of righteousness, for she shall be proud of her offspring.

Blessed is the mother who is never shocked, for she shall receive confidences.

Blessed is the mother who teaches respect, for she shall be respected.

Blessed is the mother who emphasizes the good and minimizes the bad, for in like manner the child himself shall make evaluations.

Blessed is the mother who treats her child as she would be treated, for her home shall be filled with happiness.

Blessed is the mother who answers simply the startling questions, for she shall always be trusted.

Blessed is the mother who has character strong enough to withstand the thoughtless remarks and resentments of the growing child, for, in due time, she shall be honored.

Happy Mothers Day to all of you!

Prayer is the test of everything

2010-04-30T12:53:00.001-04:00

By Fr. Andrew Jarmus

“Prayer is the test of everything; prayer is also the source of everything; prayer is the driving force of everything; prayer is also the director of everything. If prayer is right, everything is right. For prayer will not allow anything to go wrong.” — St. Theophan the Recluse

Perhaps the most popular and basic definition of prayer is that it is a conversation with God. While this is essentially true, Orthodox Christianity looks upon prayer as something deeper than “conversation”.

Prayer is understood as an intimate encounter with God. When we pray, we meet with God in our hearts, in the sanctuary of all our thoughts, motivations, dreams, emotions and concerns. This is a place where we can share our inner selves with no other human person as completely as we can share ourselves with the Lord.

To enter into this very personal and intimate place with God, full of faith and love, is to feel His presence in our lives in the most profound and life-giving of ways. In this place in our hearts, we no longer perceive God as being “out there”, looking down on us. Rather, we sense His presence inside us, stirring our hearts, guiding our actions, enlightening our minds.

Our Orthodox Christian Faith teaches us that prayer is the most natural thing a person can do, it is what we are created for. In Paradise Adam and God converse frequently. It is only after the Fall that we hide from God and choose not to speak openly with Him.

Human beings were made for prayer, not because God needs us to pray to Him, but because we need to connect with Him who made us, saved us from sin and death, and showers His sanctifying grace upon us. Without prayer there is no life, not in its fullest sense. As human persons we are created for prayer just as we are created to breath or to think. Prayer is part of our unique nature; of all God’s creatures, only human beings are able to perceive and interact with both the visible (physical) and invisible (spiritual) realities.

Prayer is so important in our lives that St. Gregory of Nazianzus instructs us to, “remember God more often that you breath”. At first, this task might seem daunting, perhaps impossible. In truth, we find that often the greatest obstacle to our developing prayer life is our own lack of trust in ourselves, and in what God can do for and with us.

Often we “psych” ourselves out when it comes to prayer. We think that it is only for the spiritual “specialists” to engage in prayer — clergy, monks, nuns. We feel that if we need to struggle with our prayer life we must not be “doing it right”. In truth, it is only when we struggle with prayer that we are approaching it in a healthy way.

But even though prayer is — or at least should be — a natural part in our human make-up, prayer is a discipline, it is a spiritual exercise. An analogy commonly used by the Saints is that prayer is like a fire. Initially, it starts out only as a small spark in our soul; eventually though, if we fan the flames with a constant effort to pray, this spark grows into a spiritual flames — these flames are the burning bush in our souls, where we, like Moses, speak with God.

To feed the fire of prayer in our soul, we must work ourselves into a regular pattern — or “rule” — of prayer. Like a fire, if our prayer life is left untended, it will die away and turn cold. The more we pray, the more meaningful and nourishing our prayer life becomes, and the more of a desire we have to enter into prayer.

The ways that we pray

In Orthodox spirituality, we recognize two basic types of prayer: liturgical (that is, worship); and personal prayer. In our Church both of these types of prayer are understood as corporate acts — they are carried out by believers as a single body, the body of Christ.

Liturgical prayer is obviously corporate. A group of brothers and sisters in the faith gather together in one place to offer hymns and prayers to God. However, even when we pray in private, we do not pray alone. Rather, we join our voices to the countless other Orthodox Christians throughout the world who are also lifting their hearts to God in prayer at that time. Christianity is always lived out as a group, never as an isolated individual.

Liturgy and private prayer are interdependent. It is not enough for us only to pray by ourselves, because every human being has an innate need for community, a need to belong. Our liturgical worship also gives us the order and structure that we need to have stability in our spiritual lives.

At the same time, our liturgical prayer is truly vibrant and life-giving only when those present are “people of prayer” outside the services as well. Our faith is not “Sunday-only” and our prayer life shouldn’t be Sunday-only either. Each type of prayer, liturgical and personal, compliments and supplements the other.

In both worship and personal prayer, structure is important. Worship services have a set structure of fixed and variable parts. Although our private prayer can be much more simple and “customized” than worship services, we still structure it as part of our daily lives. In our personal prayer life, we need to develop a habit of praying regularly at certain times during the day. This habit of regular prayer is called a “rule of prayer.”

Ancient Christian sources instruct Christians to pray three times a day: in the morning, at mid-day and in the evening. In this way we keep God on our minds and hearts throughout the day — upon waking up, in the midst of our daily tasks and upon retiring for the night. This regularity is very important because, at its core, a life or prayer is a life lived in the constant remembrance of God.

The Saints teach us that our prayers should include the following four elements, in this order:

1 & 2) glorification and thanksgiving: the primary work of prayer is to glorify God and thank Him for His great blessings, both know and unknown;
3) confession of sins: we ask God for His forgiveness for when we fall short of the life that He calls us to;
4) supplication: we ask God to be merciful and grant our petitions for others and for ourselves

This structure helps us remember that God’s blessing are giving to us not because owe have earned them, but in spite of our imperfections and faults. It also helps us avoid looking upon God as a spiritual “bell boy” who is there merely to answer our requests — the last thing we do is ask for things, not the first.

Prayers do not have to be long or complicated to be effective. Some of the most powerful prayers in history have been sentences of only a few words. The Thief on the Cross merely had to say, “Remember me, Lord, in Your Kingdom”, to hear Jesus’ promise, “today you shall be with me in Paradise.”

When trying to develop a habit of daily prayer in your life remember this: it is far better to spend five minutes each day in private devotions, than to “bank” the time and take in 35 minutes of personal prayer once per week.

Should we pray from books, or use our own words?

Many believers have developed a great love for the prayers found in our prayer books. In our prayer books we find collections of prayers, written at different times in history for different situations, times of day and needs.

In the Orthodox Church, one of the most beloved prayer books is the Old testament Book of Psalms. The Psalms offer us a way of framing life’s varying experiences — good and bad — in prayer using very poetic and profound language. So important is the Book of Psalms that you will find the Psalms used in every worship service and rule of prayer.

Written prayers can be a font of wisdom and comfort. There are those, however, that do not feel that written prayers completely fit their personal “voice”. For these people, spontaneous prayer is an important part of their personal devotions. There is nothing wrong with spontaneous prayer. The only caution with spontaneous prayer is that the content of such prayers must not contradict the beliefs and practices of the Orthodox Faith. For example, we would not pray that, after we die, God would reincarnate us as a better person, since we do not believe in reincarnation.

The Orthodox Christian approach to written and spontaneous prayers is one of balance. Our written prayers are truly a treasury of Christian spiritual insight, nurture and guidance. But at the same time even our prayer books instruct us to “take time to pray to God in your own words…” There is a place for both types of prayer, written and spontaneous, and each complements the other.

In the Gospels, Jesus gives the following warning about prayer: “when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words. (Matthew 6:7)” Based on this verse, some Christian groups teach that God is not pleased by written prayers; instead, they say, all prayer should be spontaneous. This teaching, however, does not make sense when we see that two verses later, Jesus gives His disciples a specific prayer to use: “In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father Who art in heaven… (Matthew 6:9-113).”

The issue that Jesus addresses is not written prayer versus spontaneous prayer, but rather the how we approach prayer. In Matthew 6, Jesus also teaches us, “when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you open.” The Saints teach us that there is a double meaning to the words, “go into your room.”

First, “go into your room” means keep a low profile when you pray. Do not use prayer to show off to others: “Look at me, everyone! I’m praying! I am *SO* holy!”

Second, “go into your room” means shut out distractions when you pray. We have to pay attention when we pray. We cannot simply rattle off the words of our prayers with our minds wandering to other things — our schedules, a song on the radio, a conversation happening beside us, the big play of last night’s game. We must focus on what we are saying.

Whether we are praying using words from a prayer book or in our own words, the key is that we put in the effort to do it right. No one likes the feeling of being in a conversation, knowing that the other person is not paying attention. If we would try not to act like this with another human being, then we should also put the effort in with God. Quite simply, He deserves nothing less.

The Jesus Prayer

One of the most important prayers in the Orthodox Tradition is the “Jesus Prayer.” It is not long or complicated, simply, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Some make it even shorter: “Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy one me.”

The Jesus Prayer became famous in monasteries through the movement known as “hesychasm”, or the way of “stillness.” The idea of hesychasm is that it is only when we have stilled our hearts and bodies that we can be fully open to the life-giving presence of God. The body must be stilled from its obsessions, compulsions and addictions and the heart must be stilled of it’s wandering here and there looking for something to keep it occupied, entertained and satisfied.

The Jesus Prayer is used as the refrain of a prayerful meditation. Through continued use, practitioners find themselves saying it automatically, much in the same way that we sometimes find a tune running through our minds without our conscious effort. At its highest level, practice of the Jesus Prayer leads to an intimate encounter with God through a vision of what is know as the “Uncreated Light.”

The Gospels tell us that, shortly before His Crucifixion, Jesus took the apostles Peter, James and John to the top of Mount Tabor. There, they saw Jesus garments go pure white, and He began to shine with a resplendent light that was almost too much for the to bear. (See Mttw. 17:1-9; Mk.9:2-13; Lk. 9:28-36) This light was a manifestation of Jesus’ Divinity. This is the light that vary advanced practitioners of the Jesus Prayer will encounter when saying the prayer.

This sounds very impressive and perhaps even desirable. However, it is not what we experience — or what we do not experience — that matters when say the Jesus Prayer or any other prayer. What really matters is that we pray with an awareness of what our words really mean, and that we try to stay as attentive as possible to the words we are saying while we pray.

The most important part in the Jesus Prayer is the name of our Savior. The Saints teach that the very mention of name of Jesus sends the demons running. Jesus Christ is God speaking for Himself. God is not far off and remote from us. God loves us so much that He came to be one of us, through His only-begotten Son, and He allows us to relate to His Son on a first-name basis, calling Him “Jesus”.

Repetition of the name of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, is a very powerful tool in our spiritual life. It allows us to approach God in a very direct manner. We do not simply say, “Somebody, who ever is out there, hear my prayer.” We specifically say, “Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God”, hear my prayer. By the way, the name “Jesus” means, “the Lord is salvation.”

As we call on the name of Jesus, we call upon Him as “Lord” — “Lord, Jesus Christ…” “Lord” is a title of honor. In times past, someone who was a lord had authority over people under him. To call Jesus our Lord is to put ourselves under His authority. Jesus is the Lord of our lives… we will follow His teachings, do what He wants us to do, base our lives on the way of living that He has showed us. In short, if Jesus is the Lord, Jesus is in charge.

Also important in the Jesus Prayer is the call for God’s mercy. Admitting that we are broken, sinful, we pray words found so often in the Gospels, “have mercy on me”. No one is “worthy” of God’s grace; there are no “necessary requirements” that makes us “entitled” to God’s blessings. The blessings we receive from God are solely based on His great and abundant mercy. Divine mercy is the starting point our whole life. If God were not merciful, we wouldn’t even exist.

The Jesus Prayer became so important, so loved, that it eventually made it’s way into every worship service in a couple of different forms. The best know of these forms is the response, “Lord, have mercy” in our litanies. “Lord, have mercy,” is a compact form of the Jesus Prayer.

Whether we are singing it in worship or saying it quietly in personal prayer, the Jesus Prayer is a jewel of our spiritual tradition. I said in an earlier posting that prayers don’t necessarily have to be long to be effective. Say the words of the Jesus Prayer, with awareness, attention and a sincere heart — say them often — and we will find God acting in our lives like we never have before.

Prayer as Silence

God is always trying to get our attention. He wants us to turn to Him, to listen to Him, to open ourselves to a relationship with Him. God does not force Himself on us, but He is always making ovations towards us, waiting for us to respond with loving attentiveness towards Him. If we pay attention, if we listen, we will hear God speaking to us in our lives. Prayer is as much about listening to God as it is speaking to Him. In fact, the listening is even more important than the talking.

One way that we listen to God in our prayers is through the reading of the Holy Scriptures and other of our Church’s spiritual writings. In our private devotions, we can select a passage, read it, and then take some time to think about what we have read. As we think about the passage, we try to be aware of specific sentences, phrases or words that grab our attention. Some people will write down their observations in a journal for future discussion with their spiritual father.

The second means of listening to God in prayer is through silence. Silence is something that many of us are not comfortable with. We fill our days with the noise of iPods, TV, radios. For some people, the time that they dread most are the moments at night before they go to sleep, when all they are left with is silence and their thoughts. And yet, God often talks to us, not in thunder claps and lightening flashes, but in the still small voice whispering in our heart. (for more on this, see 1 Kings 19:11-13)

The Saints instruct us that as we say our prayers, we should take time to stop and sit quietly, just being present with God. The monastic fathers and mothers of our Church say that prayer is like a flying bird. When a bird is in the air, it beats its wings until it has reached a certain height; at that point, it stops beating its wings and glides along. The words of our prayers are our spiritual wings. There will come a point while praying where words are no longer necessary, we can stop talking and glide in silence, allowing God’s presence keep us aloft.

Prayer is a conversation. It is a two-way dynamic. As we all know, its hard to say we have had a “conversation” with someone, if one party has monopolized the time, without giving the other party the chance to offer any input. In order for prayer to be truly beneficial to us, in addition to talking to God we also need to listen to what He has to say to us.

A Call to Prayer

Sometimes we think that if our spiritual life isn’t “feeling right,” that our prayers are some way not working. Regardless of how we feel, any time is an appropriate time for us to pray. We start from where we are, emotionally and spiritually. We approach God as we are, trusting that He is ready, willing and able to overlook our faults, doubts and wounds and to lift us above them.

At the same time, we must take care never to assume that we are doing “good enough” in our lives, and that we may excuse ourselves from prayer. Christ did not call us to being “good enough”; He called us to be perfect. The struggle for that perfection is a life-long endeavor. Furthermore, it is an endeavor that we cannot achieve ourselves, it can be accomplished only with, and through God — the God that we encounter intimately through prayer.

In the Divine Liturgy, we hear the invitations “Let us lift up our hearts”, and “Let us give thanks to the Lord”. These two calls sum up the center of human existence. When we lift up our hearts to God, glorifying Hi for all that He does for us — both known and unknown. And in doing so, the image of God — who is the maker, savior and sanctifier of our lives — shines within us, and through us into the world.

“Prayer is the test of everything; prayer is also the source of everything; prayer is the driving force of everything; prayer is also the director of everything. If prayer is right, everything is right. For prayer will not allow anything to go wrong.” — St. Theophan the Recluse

source: http://preachersinstitute.com/2010/04/prayer-is-the-test-of-everything-by-fr-andrew-jarmus/

Forgiveness and healing

2010-04-30T08:56:00.002-04:00

To forgive does not mean to forget what has happened, but to shoulder the weight of another person’s frailty or even another person’s evil. St. Paul says, “Learn to carry one another’s burdens.” These burdens are often the failure of each of us to be worthy of our calling our incapacity to love one another, to accept one another, to serve one another, to help one another on the way that leads to God. Let each of us pass a judgement on our whole soul, on our whole life, judge ourselves honestly, and ask forgiveness not only from God but from our neighbor, which is sometimes much harder than asking forgiveness from God.
Image: Return of the Prodigal Son by Rembrandt (1636)
We are all frail. We are all in need of support. Do we give this support to one another? Or do we choose those whom we want to support because we like them, because supporting them is a joy, because supporting them means that they also respond to us by gratitude, by friendship? Let us avoid seeking reasons not to forgive.
I remember a man who said to me, “I can forgive every person who has sinned against me, I can even love them, but I must hate the enemies of God.” I thought of something which is told to us in the life of one of the saints, in which a priest was praying to God to punish those who betrayed Him by their lives if not by their words. And Christ appeared to him and said, “Never pray for the punishment or the rejection of any one. If there was only one sinner in the world, I would choose to be incarnate again, and again to die upon the cross for this only sinner.”
Remember, if we do not forgive our brother, it is not only he who goes away with pain and tears in his heart, but we are wounded. If we do not forgive, we are ourselves not healed. The evil that occurred to us at the hands of another person remains with us, damaging our soul, destroying us.
Let us learn to forgive, so that others may be healed, but also that we may be healed ourselves. Come and bow down before the icon of Christ and of the Mother of God, and then turn to one another with the readiness to be forgiven and to forgive, whatever the cost to us.
Metropolitan Anthony Bloom of Sourozh
from a Forgiveness Vespers sermon given in 1999

source: http://www.incommunion.org/2010/01/30/forgiveness-and-healing%C2%AD/

Clergy burnout and fatigue

2010-04-29T12:30:00.002-04:00

by Fr. George Morelli
This excellent article was first published on Orthodoxytoday.org, where much of Fr. Morelli’s writings appear. We offer to our overworked, underpaid, and often exhausted brethren, in the hopes that they may be refreshed who are weary in well-doing. It is placed under ‘Sermon Resources’ because – and I want to be quite clear about this – the healthy preacher is the greatest sermon resource of all. God bless you, brothers.

The apostles returned to Jesus, and told him all that they had done and taught. And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a lonely place, and rest a while. For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat (Mk 6:30-31).

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Mt 11:28).

In emulation of Our Lord Himself, priests are “on call” at all times. As St. Mark records of Jesus in his Gospel (1:33-34):

“And the whole city was gathered together about the door. And [H]e healed many who were sick with various diseases… ”

The priest, the icon of the healing Christ, is the instrumental physician of the souls they pastor. In the role of healer, the priest must hear their flock recount their personal problems. As discussed in Morelli, (2006c) many of these problems involve uttermost human and spiritual suffering, the disclosure of dysfunctional emotional reactions such as anger, anxiety and depression, the confession of helplessness, hopelessness and estrangement from God.

Priestly ministry is especially demanding because as Archbishop Hilarion Alfeyev (2002) writes:

“The sacrament of priesthood is deeply significant…Despite the Orthodox emphasis on the ‘royal priesthood’ of all believers, the Church also recognizes a difference between laypeople and ordained clergy, the latter being entrusted with the celebration of the Eucharist, and having the power of ‘binding and loosing’. Ordination into a hierarchical rank, be it of bishop, priest or deacon, is not only a change of status but a transition to another level of existence.”

He goes on to quote St. Silouan the Athonite:

“[This] grace is so exceedingly great that were men able to see the glory of this grace, the whole world would wonder at it; but the Lord has veiled it that His servants should not be puffed up but find salvation in humility … Truly noble is a priest —- the minister at God’s altar.”

The words of Christ Himself given to his apostles and followers tell us of the consequences of receiving His gifts:

“…to whom much is given, of him will much be required…” (Lk 12:48)

Behavioral science researchers have noted the deleterious psychological effects on the healing professionals who are exposed to secondary trauma, that is to say by listening to individuals reveal traumatic events and or their reactions to such events. Figley (1995) calls this compassion fatigue. Pearlman and Saakvitne, (1995) have an even more pointed name for this diagnostic category: vicarious traumatization. In other words, the mental health professional, and by implication, the priest of Christ, is open to be traumatized themselves by simply being exposed to the verbal recounting of the traumatic events others have suffered.

Signs of compassion fatigue

Compassion fatigue has many indicators that are shared by other psychological disturbances such as depression. The following, therefore, should be taken as warnings, yellow flags so to speak, to consult a licensed, scientifically trained and Christ-centered mental health professional for evaluation and possible psycho-spiritual intervention. (Morelli, 2006a,c) Some of these signs include:

* A general unhappiness, preoccupation with those whom the priest is helping.
* A lack satisfaction with one’s healing ministry.
* A lack of connection with those being helped or other parishioners.
* A lack of feeling ‘energized’ after a helping encounter.
* A difficulty separating one’s thoughts, feelings and spiritual life from the problems being dealt with.
* Feeling the trauma of the one(s) seeking aid, feeling trapped in the pastoral ministry of helping.
* More irritability about everyday matters.
* A general feeling of discontent.
* A general feeling of dissatisfaction with one’s ministry.
* Feelings of being overwhelmed exhausted and fatigued, and a sense that one’s priestly efforts are not worthwhile.

Orthodoxy uses the synergia of medicine and Christ’s spiritual gifts in healing

Many are familiar with the adage: grace builds on nature. This is consistent with the words of St. Maximus the Confessor who notes

“the grace of the most Holy Spirit does not confer wisdom on the Saints without their natural intellect as capacity to receive it.”(Philokalia II).

Thus as St. Paul tell us:

“…for in Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth… and in him all things hold together. (Col. 1:16-17).

The early church fathers who used the medicine of their day in healing, considered this use of the intelligence God created us with in just this way. (Morelli, 2006c) As Fr. Stanley Harakas notes:

“Medical treatment is also seen as a human cooperation with God’s healing purposes and goals…[medicine has] … generally been understood throughout history in the Church to be appropriate, fitting and desirable ways of cooperating with God in the healing of human illnesses.”i

Psychological Aids to Prevent and Combat Compassion Fatigue

Limit mental rehashing time (Time Management)

Make out a detailed work schedule for each day of the week. With computer Personal Data Assistant (PDA) programs or old fashioned daily planners, this is not a difficult task and will reap great psychological and spiritual reward. Train your mind not to entertain or converse with the factual and emotional details of the situation or case. Some years ago when I was actively counseling and teaching, in addition to my pastoral tasks, I was very busy and was in a position to easily “burnout.” I developed what I called the “Appointment Book Technique.” I would write down all pastoral, clinical, academic, and spiritual tasks with the specific start and end time and travel time, then close the book.

I would not think about what I had written until the appointed day. Tasks that required preparation would be listed in a specific slot on the days before. Other than praying for them, and keeping in mind the presence of God (“pray constantly, 1Th. 5:7), I did not dwell on the details involving any person I had to counsel or to whom I had to minister. I closed the book: keeping it “out of sight, out of mind”, until the time of the event. Doing this takes practice but it can be done.

The depth of compassion I felt for the suffering person was not lessened, but the amount of time I spent exposed to secondary trauma was limited to the time I was actually with that person.

Prioritizing events

Intellectually we all know events differ in their importance. But this is very easy to ignore in everyday life and can be a cause of stress and leave us susceptible to burnout. In effective time management it is critical to prioritize the events that are listed in our schedule. For example, under usual conditions (excluding for example, natural disasters, catastrophes, warfare, etc.) Divine Liturgy on Sundays and Feast Days (and their preparatory services) would be highest in priority. Also visiting a critically ill parishioner would be an emergency “high priority’ and require a modification in the Priests schedule. That means a lower priority event may then have to get re-scheduled.

In prioritizing the events in one’s daily, weekly monthly and yearly schedule, balance of major life domains must be maintained. For the Orthodox Priest this means: Ministry, including prayer life, Family, and Recreation. Each of these domains can be subdivided into sub-domains. For example, Ministry, would include: The Divine Services and Holy Mysteries, parish administration, Scripture Study, pastoral visitations, pastoral counseling, etc. Family would include, dinner time, time spent with spouse, children, their school and extra-curricula activities, and special family events, etc. Recreation (re-creation) is for many priests, the forgotten domain.

Note above I emphasized the parts of the word, recreation, that is to say: to re-create oneself.

Another frequently encountered prioritizing situation occurs when a priest is faced with an unexpected encounter with someone in the parish who communicates a need for prompt attention. This is even more stressful if the parishioner perceives themselves as entitled to special attention because of their ‘status,’ for example a parish council member or officer. I discuss in more detail the problem of entitlement in the context of marriage (Morelli, 2007a) but the points I make are quite applicable in priest-parish situations. Basically entitlement is psychologically an unrealistic expectation and spiritually is based on the sinful passion of pride.

In such encounters the parish priest has to discern the “realistic” importance of the stated ‘need.’: If the request is critical, (e.g. need for immediate confession and reception of communion of someone in danger of death), then the priest would re-prioritize his schedule. In other situations, the priest has to learn to be assertive, and straightforwardly, firmly and in Christ-like charity, set up an appointment when the issue can be addressed. Assertiveness is discussed in more detail below.

The special case of prioritizing: Re-creation

Here I am only going to consider this psychologically below I will consider this domain from a spiritual viewpoint. We all need a time out from usual activity so to speak. This could be anything from walk, run or bicycle in the park to listening to a favorite musical piece. It could be a visit to a museum, walk on the beach, a walking trail in a park. (All these activities should and can involve a sense of the presence of God.) Re-creation conveys a sense of dissociating with and leaving the active world behind and just being absorbed by the present moment.

Some psychologists have even developed techniques of psychological meditation, which is a mental self discipline exercise the aim of which is to learn to focus attention, raise awareness and bring cognitive and physical processes under voluntary control (Bloomfield & Kory, 1976).

In a meditative state, electroencephalograph (EEG) studies (Travis, 2001) indicate an increase in brain alpha and theta waves, accompanying attenuation of heart rate, carbon dioxide output, oxygen intake respiration rate, and skin conductance. Subjectively those tested reported feeling quite un-aroused and relaxed. Sympathetic nervous system hormones which are associated with anxiety (Morelli, 2009a), are also lowered (Davidson, Kabat-Zinn, Schumacher, Rosencranz, Muller, Santorelli, Urbanowski, Harrington, Bonus & Sheridan, 2003).

Re-creation time should be scheduled at various times during the day, week, month and year. The length of time of the re-creation period should be commensurate with the time interval involved. For example, several 10-30 minute sessions would be adequate for a given day, a longer time period scheduled for each year.

Knowing memory limitations

Human working memory, also called working consciousness, has limited capacity. Research psychologists have found that the average individual has seven slots, plus or minus two, in which to store information at any one time. George Miller (1956) conducted the initial study some years ago given the whimsical title: The Magical Number Seven, Plus or Minus Two: Some Limits on Our Capacity to Process Information.ii

When the capacity of working consciousness is filled, new information is either not stored or replaces the information currently in store. Applying these findings to burnout, or compassion fatigue, the more we try to rely on our memory to recall our task schedule or the details of the troubling experiences of those we are counseling, the more additional fatigue strain and tension we are putting on ourselves over and above the events we are dealing with or individuals we are ministering to. Use of digital or paper calendars and notes is highly recommended.

One Time, One Event

Multitasking in today’s world is commonplace. But it is a psycho-spiritual disaster for priests in any counseling ministry or in prayer life. During the time I am with Jack Smith, so to say, I am with him and him only, I totally focus on him and what we are talking or praying about. Tom, Dick or Harry are out of sight and out of mind. It is like I tune out alternate radio or TV stations by tuning into the one I want to hear. This also means, for example, during breakfast, lunch or dinner, that is the only task being performed: eating.—this is not the time for work, etc. Once again this technique has to be practiced.

Permit me a non-pastoral personal example. Several years ago I was working on research study. I had several students working under my supervision. Typically I would be behind my desk with computer data punch cards, computer printouts of statistical information, a partially written report, frequently on the phone on matters related to the study. At times a research assistant or student would come into the office and ask me a question. In my own mind I would do my best to answer, usually in one or two words, with gesture, and keep on ‘multitasking.’

Now in my view, I was being accommodating. I soon got feedback, I was ‘uncaring and aloof.’ I asked the assistant who gave me this feedback to interrupt me with a signal when I was doing an activity that was perceived as being ‘uncaring and aloof.’ I very quickly discovered what I just described above as the problem. My solution was to place the importance of the assistant and his question first, by stopping all other tasks. I invited him to sit down, I looked him in the eye with full attention, and answered his question.

It was not a difficult adjustment. I am happy to report, favorable feedback began to follow. I learned a valuable lesson. “Stretching myself” was perceived by me to be ‘caring and helping.’ but was not the perception of others. In this case changing my own behavior was aiding the research project by increasing morale and was more in fulfillment of Christ-like charity.

Delegate

Another common practical adage: An executive with ten secretaries can do ten times the work than ten executives with one secretary. In the average Orthodox parish, the pastor could easily get bogged down with clerical or even building maintenance tasks.

This is said not to denigrate these valuable functions, but the primary function of the parish priest is to be a servant as minister, that is to say, preach, teach and sanctify. Letter writing, addressing envelopes, preparing the Sunday Bulletin, scheduling Baptism and Holy Marriage, putting water in the baptismal font, filling Holy Water bottles, preparing service booklets for the parishioners can easily be done by those of the royal priesthood in their service to the Body of Christ, or in the case of a technical or extended work designation such as Parish Secretary, a salaried position (by someone not a member of the parish).
The Shepherds of the Church using the gifts of all

The visible Churchiii is ‘conciliar,’ but is not a democracy. The Church founded by Christ and enlivened by the Holy Spirit at Pentecost is also hierarchical, that is to say made up of bishop, priest, deacon and those baptized into the royal priesthood. The teachings of Christ are understood and expressed in Council by the bishops and confirmed by the priests that surround them and the people of God, the royal priesthood. This is done in union with the common teaching and common mind of the church as passed on through the apostles and Church Fathers. Bishop Hierotheos (1998) quotes St. John of Damaskos on this matter:

“We accept all those things which have been handed down by the Law and the Prophets and the Apostles and the Evangelists. We know and revere them, and over and above these things se seek nothing else.”

St. Basil in his Divine Liturgy of reminds all who surround the Holy Table:

“Be mindful also, O Lord, of the Priesthood, the Deaconate in Christ, and every priestly rank, and put not to confusion any one of us who stand about Thy Holy Altar.”

The ministry of service of the priest-bishop is to preach, teach, sanctify and pastor, that is to say lead the flock of Christ. But the grace that outflows from ordination is not personal but is effectuated by God. Archbishop Hilarion (2002) quoting St. Ambrose of Milan says:

“It is not Damasius, or Peter, or Ambrose or Gregory who baptizes. We are fulfilling our ministry as servants, but the validity of the sacraments depends upon you. It is not within human power to communicate the Divine benefits – it is your gift, O Lord.”

Thus all who make up the visible Church on earth each a different function depending on God’s grace. As St. Paul tells us:

“Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of working, but it is the same God who inspires them all in every one. (1Cor 12: 4-6)

The priest has to reflect on this fact and the parish reminded and taught the meaning of the words of St. Paul:

“For by the grace given to me I bid every one among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith which God has assigned him. For as in one body we have many members, and all the members do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them…” (Rm 12:3-6).

The service of the laity baptized into the ‘royal priesthood’ is to unite their prayer of offering, their sacrifice of praise, during Divine Liturgy with that of the priestiv and offer their talents to Christ’s Church under the shepherding of the pastors and arch-pastors of the Church in accordance with their gifts.

Assertiveness

Assertiveness is defined as an honest and true communication of real feelings in a socially acceptable (and for the Christian in a Christ-like) manner. It starts with the least effective response, that is to say the most gentle words in meaning and tone of voice that is needed to communicate a message. This can escalate to a firm neutral tone, in keeping with Christ-like charity in choice of words and tone of voice (emotional control: Morelli, 2006b). Development of this psychological cognitive-behavioral skill enables the priest to remove self-imposed or other-imposed demands that do not fit with the event prioritizing discussed above or that could be better handled by delegating tasks. The priest with an understanding of the structure of the visible Church founded by Christ and the individual gifts that may be of service to the parish community will not hesitate to assertively ask for aid needed in the parish. In imitation of Christ’s words

“Follow me” (Mt 4:19).

As mentioned above assertiveness may also have to be used in setting and maintaining priorities especially when requests are made by parishioners out of a sense of entitlement, those who misconstrue their role in the parish structure or some who wants preferential treatment of some type that would set a bad example, be seen as blatantly unfair or even puts undue stress on the pastor that minimizes his effectiveness.

I am sure priests can come up with many example of all of the above. I will use a rather common example of a request that I am sure every pastor received. A young person applying to college or university asks for a recommendation. Situation I: He/she have given a least a months notice. I ask the applicant to email me all relevant information (e.g. GPA, school honors, extra-curricular activities, Church/social service etc.) I will schedule doing the letter of recommendation, promptly (one-two weeks) based on my personal knowledge of the person and the information supplied me. Situation II: He/she tells me a letter of recommendation is needed immediately (right then and there, tomorrow). I find out this is not a last minute request (therefore emergency request) from the school, the applicant procrastinated in asking me. Speaking assertively, but (I pray) with Christ-like kindness, I simply tell the student,

“it will take me a couple days after I get the required information. I feel sorry for the problem, but it was your responsibility to come to me earlier.”v

Once again in the context of marriage I discuss this communication problem more extensively (Morelli, 2009b)

Have a psycho-spiritual expert to talk to

Clinicians and researchers who have worked with professionals who have dealt with victims of trauma, have themselves pointed out the importance of having a knowledgeable professional with which they can debrief and have support. It has been found that mental health professionals have attenuated their own compassion fatigue by having a peer support network, in which their own thoughts and emotional feelings can be shared (Figley, 1995, Boscarino, J. A., Figley, C. R. and Adams, R. E. (2004).

Distress tolerance

Albert Ellis (1962) has expended much of his clinical intervention with psychologically suffering individuals helping them to lean to tolerate distress:

“And we have Rational-Emotive imagery, where we get people to imagine the worst and then feel terrible, and then work on their feeling. We have my famous shame attacking exercise, because shame is the essence of much disturbance, where we get you and other people and our clients to go out and do something asinine, ridiculous, foolish, and not feel ashamed. Now don’t get in trouble; don’t walk naked in the streets or anything like that. But yell out the stops, if you’re civilized enough in your city to have a subway, like we’re civilized enough in New York. And stop somebody on the street and say, “I just got out of the loony bin. What month is it?” and not feel ashamed when they look in horror at you and think you’re off your rocker, which they think you are but you’re really not; you’re being very much saner than they are.”vi

Learning to tolerate distress in such exercises, can be applied to other distressing situations. “Yes very unpleasant events occur in life, but I can learn to get through them and go on.” In actuality this is very similar to an intervention that would be given to person that has actually experienced a traumatic event. (Morelli, 2009a).

The priest who is subject to compassion fatigue can learn to perceive shocking narratives with coping thoughts. Below is a partial list of such coping thoughts:

* This situation won’t last forever.
* I have been through similar painful experiences and have survived.
* I can do what I have to while still being anxious.
* This is an opportunity to learn to bear with my fears.
* My anxiety or sadness won’t kill me; it just doesn’t feel so good right now.

In my pastoral-clinical experience I have given those I have counseled as well as myself ‘homework’ exercises that are geared to practice distress tolerance. I might accompany the distressed counselee during the exercise either close or at a distance as necessary. Debriefing takes place as soon as possible after the exercise. During debriefing, the patient is helped to identify the feelings accompanying the exercise and, most importantly, to recognize that they can modify the thought pattern they attached to the exercise. They did survive, thus change is possible and can be acquired. Such exercises are repeated as necessary. I recommend priest-counselors discuss their particular experience with such exercises with their personal psycho-spiritual ‘expert.’
Spiritual aids to prevent and combat compassion fatigue

Re-creation: Desert in the City

The Holy Gospels record one of the first events at the beginning of Jesus’ public life. St. Mark (Gospel, 1: 10-12) writes that after the Theophany in which:

“… the Spirit descending upon him like a dove; and a voice came from heaven, “Thou art my beloved Son; with thee I am well pleased.” The Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness [desert].”

It is in the desert that Our Lord, God and Savior encountered the evil one and triumphed.

Throughout Jesus ministry, the evangelists record events of Our Lord going off by Himself to pray. For example, this account by St. Luke (5: 15-16):

“But so much the more the report went abroad concerning him; and great multitudes gathered to hear and to be healed of their infirmities. But He withdrew to the wilderness and prayed.”

Before the greatest of sacrifices for our salvation which St. Basil in his Divine Liturgy describes as

“…His voluntary, and ever-memorable, and life-creating death…His saving Passion and life-giving Cross, His three day burial and Resurrection from the dead…”

Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane praying:

“And he came out, and went, as was his custom, to the Mount of Olives; and the disciples followed him. And when he came to the place he said to them, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation.” And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed…” (Lk 22: 39-41)

We have to imitate these withdrawal actions of Christ in ourselves. In this way we can make effective in our own lives and ministry, the priest’s supplication after The Lord’s Prayer in the Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom to be united to the Christ who:

“…[heals] the sick, Thou who art the physician of our souls and bodies.”

The importance of the desert and prayer for priests and all contemporary committed Christians, is delineated by Carlo Carretto (1985) in describing his own ‘desert’ experience:

“In the desert we had discovered the Divine Absolute, and problems were no more, including the gap between city and desert. For there was no gap: the desert was no longer absence of men, but presence of God…The desert trail leads through the city now, summoning man to contemplate the mystery of the Absolute God”

This mystery is love.

St. Isaac of Syria tells us

“Purity of prayer is silence ..[whereby we can contemplate the meaning of Our Lord’s death] that the world might become aware of the love which God has for creation.” (Brock, 1997).

This is because: “God is love.” 1Jn 4:8). When we imitate the withdrawal of Christ into the desert and pray we can take the first step in interiorizing God’s love for us, our love for God and our love for all mankind.

Retreating in the Midst of the City

St. Theophan the Recluse tells us:

“Begin retreating into solitude at your own home, and dedicate these hours of solitude to praying above all for one thing: ‘Make known to me, O Lord, the way wherein I should walk [Ps 142: 8]. Pray thus not merely in words and thought, but also from your heart. For this time of solitude, set aside certain hours every day ….” (The Art of Prayer).

In the spirit of St. Paul who tells us:

“…pray constantly…” (1Thes 5:17)

“Pray at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.” (Eph 6:18)“

St. Theophan also reminds us;

“Some Godly thoughts come nearer the heart than others. Should this be so, after you have finished your prayers, continue to dwell on such a thought and remain feeding on it. This is the way to unceasing prayer.”

Prayer is also an instrument of compassion fatigue prevention and healing. St. Isaac of Syria notes: Once someone has doubted God’s care for him, he immediately falls into a myriad of anxieties…Knowledge of truth [through experiencing God in prayer] fills the heart with peace, establishing a person in joy and confidence.” (Brock, 1997). St. Theophan explains how this can be accomplished in the city, in the world:

“I remember that St. Basil the great solved the question how the Apostles could pray without ceasing, in this way: in everything they did, he replied, they thought of God and lived in constant devotion to Him. This spiritual state was their unceasing prayer…What is required is a constant aliveness to God —- an aliveness present when you talk, read, watch, or examine something.”

The Church is a hospital

Consider the Parable of the Good Samaritan (Lk 10: 30-37):

A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him, and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road; and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was; and when he saw him, he had compassion, and went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; then he set him on his own beast and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ Which of these three, do you think, proved neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” He said, “The one who showed mercy on him.” And Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”

Bishop Hierotheos Vlachos (1994) emphatically states:

“In St. John Chrysostom’s interpretation of this parable it is clearly evident that the Church is a Hospital which heals those sick with sin, while the bishops and priests, like the Apostle Paul, are the healers of the people of God.”

It is in this context that we can understand the other words of Bishop Hierotheos: “..the priest is properly a spiritual physician who cures people’s sicknesses. Worship and sacrament must be placed within the therapeutic method and treatment.”

The fullness of this healing can only be enlivened with the reception of the Holy Mysteries of the Church. Holy Baptism; Chrismation; Eucharist, (reception of the very Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Christ); Holy Confession, (metanoia, repentance in mind, heart and action, true sorrow for sin and longing for and working on being in communion with God); Holy Unction, the quintessential Holy Mystery of healing in which the priest prays:

“… this oil, that it may be effectual for those who are anointed therewith, unto healing and unto relief from every passion, of every defilement of flesh and spirit, and every ill; that thereby may be glorified Thine all holy Name, of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit: now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.”

Healing can also come from the grace of the Holy Mysteries blessing an individual’s personal calling in life: Holy Orders, (ordination to the diaconate, priesthood, episcopacy) and Blessed Marriage, (male and female uniting to become one flesh, blessed by the Church).

The fullness of Healing: Communion with Christ’s Church

It is important for all priests to reflect on the enormity of the gift of healing for themselves and for those to whom they minister by being in communion with the Church, founded by Christ Himself. As St. Paul told the Hebrews (5: 1: 2-3,6):

“For Every high priest chosen from among men is appointed to act on behalf of men in relation to God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He can deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness. Because of this he is bound to offer sacrifice for his own sins as well as for those of the people. … “Thou art a priest for ever, after the order of Melchizedek.”

St. Paul tells us what this dignity and healing grace is based on:

“The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ? Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread.” (1Cor 10: 16-17).

Thus ordinary path of the fullness of healing Grace becomes possible only by being in communion with the Orthodox Church, whose spirit, came upon this Church at Pentecost.

Extreme thankfulness of Communion with the Church, but with extreme humility

However, not only is the glory of the priesthood veiled to save priests from the passion of pride, as St. Silouan tells us, but all of us who have received this Divine gift of ordination must consider that God cannot be limited in the economia of His Grace. In this regard I want to quote the caveat of Archbishop Hilarion Alfeyev (2002):

When dealing with the difficult questions of Christian divisions, we must also bear in mind that God alone knows where the limits of the Church are. St. Augustine said, “Many of those on earth considered themselves to be alien to the Church will find on the day of Judgment that they are her citizens; and many of those who thought themselves to be members of the Church will, alas, be found to be alien to her. To declare that outside the Orthodox Church there is not and cannot be the grace of God would be to limit God”s omnipotence and to confine Him to a framework outside which he has no right to act. Hence faithfulness to the Orthodox Church and her dogmatic teaching should never become naked triumphalism by which other Christian Churches are regarded as created by the “cunning devices” of people, while the whole world and ninety-nine per cent of [mankind] is doomed to destruction.

In other words we priests have to be spiritually thankful and be enlivened by the unique gift of grace given in the priesthood and recognize our position is not a , personal resplendence but is rather a ministry of humble service.

Acceptance of being a servant

Christ told His apostles,

“It [domineering others] shall not be so among you but whoever would be great among you must be your servant” (Mt 20: 26).

For as St. Paul told the Corinthians:

“For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.”

This implies that we interiorize the compassion of Christ:

“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” (Mt 9: 36).

This recognizes that the priest and all who are true Christians

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience, forbearing one another…”. (Col3: 12-13).

For as St. Paul explains

“if one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. (1Cor 12: 26-27)

But with discernment must come discrimination

“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. (Mt 10: 16). St. Peter of Damaskos (Philokalia III):

This then is the general picture [preferring one’s own thoughts and wishes to those of God]. But situations and pursuits vary, and one needs to acquire discrimination, either through the humility given by God or through questioning those who possess the gifts of discrimination. For without discrimination nothing that comes to pass is good, even if we in our ignorance think that it is. But when through discrimination we learn how it lies in our power to attain what we wish, then what we do begins to conform to God’s will.

Especially for a priest, being a servant to others for Jesus sake make up part of their ‘path to perfection.’ St. John of the Ladder (1982) points out

“Among beginners, discernment is real self knowledge … it is the spiritual capacity to distinguish unfailingly between what is truly good and what in nature is opposed to the good.”

Opposition to being a good servant – the priest’s Achilles heal: not really ministering without ‘constant caring’

Empathy is defined in the psychological literature as thinking and feeling what the other is thinking and feeling. (Morelli, 2007b). It is my observation that many priests feel they are not fulfilling their presbyteral calling unless they ‘feel’ themselves the psycho-spiritual suffering of their parishioners at all times. This self-imposed definition of the service of priesthood would appear to be another significant contributor to compassion fatigue or burnout.

A reading of the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ public life indicates that after encountering someone suffering he would heal the person and then move on. There is no mention of Him perseveratingvii over the ill person. For example, in the account of healing of the man born blind as recounted by St. John (9: 1-41), there is the observation of Jesus healing, but in the context of the assurance and of the power of God that He possessed. He announces simply as a matter of fact:

“We must work the work of Him who sends me…I am the light of the world…” (4,5).

After the healing and the Pharisees’ disparagement of Jesus, He appears focused on the reality of his mission and not caught up in an emotional entanglement. Jesus asks:

“Do you believe in the Son of man?” He answered, “And who is he, sir, that I may believe in him?” Jesus said to him, “You have seen him, and it is he who speaks to you.” He said, “Lord, I believe”; and he worshiped him. Jesus said, “For judgment I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may become blind.” (35-39).

Thus the priest must minister in truth but also in wisdom.

I do not pray that thou shouldst take them out of the world, but that thou shouldst keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; thy word is truth. As thou didst send me into the world, so I have sent them into the world (Jn 17: 15-18)

REFERENCES

Alfeyev, Archbishop Hilarion. (2002). The Mystery of Faith: An Introduction to the Teaching and Spirituality of the Orthodox Church. London: Darton, Longman and Todd.

Bloomfield, H.H., & Kory, R.B. (1976). Happiness: The TM program, Psychiatry, and Enlightenment. NY: Simon & Schuster.

Boscarino, J. A., Figley, C. R. and Adams, R. E. (2004). Evidence of Compassion Fatigue following the September 11 Terrorist Attacks: A Study of Secondary Trauma among Social Workers in New York. International Journal of Emergency Mental Health, 6:2, 98-108.

Brock, S. (1997). The Wisdom of St. Isaac the Syrian. Fairacres Oxford, England: SLG Press.

Carretto, C. (1985). Forward. The Jerusalem Community Rule of Life. Mawah, NJ: Paulist Press.

Davidson, R.J., Kabat-Zinn, J., Schumacher, J., Rosenkranz, M., Muller, D., Santorelli, S.F., Urbanowski, F., Harrington, A., Bonus, K., & Sheridan, J.F. (2003). Alterations in brain and immune function produced by mindfulness meditation. Psychosomatic Medicine, 65, 564-570.

Figley, C.R. (1995). Compassion fatigue as secondary traumatic stress disorder: an overview. In: Compassion Fatigue: Coping with Secondary Traumatic Stress Disorder in Those Who Treat the Traumatized, Figley, CR, (ed.). NY: Brunner/Mazel.

Kadloubovsky, E. & Palmer, E. M. (1966). The Art of Prayer: An Orthodox Anthology. London: Faber and Faber.

Miller, G.A. (1956). “The Magical Number Seven, Plus or Minus Two: Some Limits on our Capacity to Process Information,” Psychological Review, 63. 81-97.

Morelli, G (2006a, May 08). Orthodoxy and The Science Of Psychology. http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/OT/view/morelli-orthodoxy-and-the-science-of-psychology.

Morelli, G. (2006b, July 02). Assertiveness and Christian Charity. http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/OT/view/morelli-assertiveness-and-christian-charity.

Morelli, G. (2006c, December 05). Understanding Clergy Stress: A Psychospiritual Response. http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/OT/view/morelli-understanding-clergy-stress.

Morelli, G. (2007a, March 15). Good Marriage: How An Attitude of Entitlement Undermines Marriage. http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/OT/view/good-marriage-I-how-an-attitude-of-entitlement-undermines-marriage.

Morelli, G. (2007b, December 02). Forgiveness is Healing. http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/OT/view/morelli-forgiveness-is-healing.

Morelli, G. (2009a, January 13). Suicide: Christ, His Church and Modern Medicine. http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/articles-2009/Morelli-Suicide-Christ-His-Church-And-Modern-Medicine.php.

Morelli, G. (2009b, February 08). Good Marriage XV. Ensnared By Mindless Helping. http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/OT/view/good-marriage-xv-ensnared-by-mindless-helping.

Pearlman, L.A. & Saakvitne, K.W. (1995). Trauma and the Therapist: Countertransference and Vicarious Traumatization in Psychotherapy with Incest Survivors. NY: W.W. Norton.

Palmer, G.E.H., Sherrard, P. & Ware, K. (1981). The Philokalia, Volume 2: The Complete Text; Compiled by St. Nikodimos of the Holy Mountain & St. Markarios of Corinth. London: Faber and Faber.

St. John of the Ladder. (1982), John Climacus: The Ladder of Divine Ascent. NY: Paulist Press.

Travis, F. (2001). Autonomic and EEG patterns distinguish transcending from other experiences during Transcendental Meditation practice. International Journal of Psychophysiology, 42, 1-9

Vlachos, Bishop Hierotheos, (1994). Orthodox Psychotherapy: The Science of the Fathers. Lavadia, Greece: Birth of the Theotokos Monastery.

Vlachos, Bishop Hierotheos, (1998). The Mind of the Orthodox Church. Lavadia, Greece: Birth of the Theotokos Monastery.
NOTES

i. (http://www.goarch.org/en/ourfaith/articles/article8076.asp)

ii. An example of the original research is to give subjects in the experiment a list of random numbers or letters: increasing in span and asking them to repeat them back either forward or backward (e.g. 86, 249, 3409, 52647, 951438, 61824913, etc.). In another example, most individuals would find the following task quite difficult—hearing them repeating back a series of twelve letters grouped as follows: FB – INB – CC –IAIB – M. However, most people would readily recall FBI,NBC,CIA,IBM. The terms working consciousness and short term store are functionally synonymous. Another common example is remembering a telephone number with an unfamiliar area code that you cannot write down and must keep in working consciousness (short term store) to be able to call it immediately after it has been given to you.

iii. The Church also includes the invisible Church. As Bishop Hierotheos (1998) tells us: “Members of the Church exist in all the ages … [they are commemorated] on the paten during the Liturgy there are many people. They are the Panagia, the Angels, the Prophets, the Holy Fathers, the great martyrs, and, in general, the witnesses of the faith, the saints and ascetics, the living and the dead who have a share in the purifying, illuminating and deifying uncreated energy of God.”

iv. As is said in the Prothesis Prayer of the Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom.

v. My thanks to one of my editors Sh. Laura Sanders who commented on this section as “an old adage has it, ‘I am not required to hurry because you procrastinated.’”

vi. (http://www.intuition.org/txt/ellis.htm).

vii. Clinically, perseverating usually is accompanied by the dysfunctional emotions of anxiety or anger. It may also be related to certain personality and psychotic disorders. Spiritually may also be related to pride and vainglory.

V. Rev. George Morelli Ph.D. is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and Marriage and Family Therapist, Coordinator of the Chaplaincy and Pastoral Counseling Ministry of the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese, (http://www.antiochian.org/counseling-ministries) and Religion Coordinator (and Antiochian Archdiocesan Liaison) of the Orthodox Christian Association of Medicine, Psychology and Religion. Fr. George is Assistant Pastor of St. George’s Antiochian Orthodox Church, San Diego, California.

Read more: Clergy Burnout and Fatigue | Preachers Institute

source: http://preachersinstitute.com/2010/04/clergy-burnout-and-fatigue-fr-george-morelli/

Marriage as Revelation

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2010-03-08T12:10:00.001-05:00

Open Mic Night and Community Supper - Friday March 12th

2010-03-08T10:19:00.001-05:00

Have you written a new poem? Just learned to play the guitar? Have a band
looking for a place to play? Looking for an evening of entertainment and
fun? This Friday the place for you is the Mor Gregorios Community Center and
their Open Mic Night.

Everyone is invited to the Mor Gregorios Community Center¹s next Open Mic
Night, Friday, March 12, starting at 7:00 PM. The Community Center will
also host a free supper of homemade soup and more starting at 6:00 PM. It
is an evening of food, entertainment, fun, and friends and neighbors.

All levels are invited to perform from beginners to advance. Poets,
jugglers, musicians, singers, comedians are all invited. If your talent is
just listening and having fun, you are encouraged to attend. The Open Mic
starts at 7:00 pm in the Great Room. You do not need a talent to attend and
be entertained. If your talent is listening, you are also invited. The
evening¹s entertainment is free.

The center¹s computer center will also be open that evening.

The Mor Gregorios Community Center is located at 1000 South Michigan Street,
Plymouth, Indiana. The center is located in the white A-frame building on
the corner of Oak Hill and Michigan streets across from the Webster
Elementary School.

For more information, you can call the center at 574-540-2048, or by email
at monastery@synesius.com

How important is the bible in your life?

2010-02-15T20:49:00.000-05:00

The Bible has been called "the most widely-owned book that no one reads". 92% of American homes have at least one Bible. 60% of Americans believe that the Bible is totally accurate. 25% of American teenagers read the Bible at least once a week. 21% of Orthodox Christian teens who are active in the Church say that they never read the Bible.

"INSPIRED BY GOD", WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

We speak to God in prayer and God speaks to us through His word. God reveals Himself in the Scripture and teaches us about His ways. St. Paul clearly states: "All Scripture is inspired by God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and instruction in righteousness" (2 Timothy 3: 16).
The word "inspired" in Greek is Theopneustos, means "God-breathed". This means that any truth contained in Holy Scripture is given directly by God. Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 2: 13: "For this reason we thank God without ceasing, that when you received of God which you heard from us, you welcomed it as the Word of God, not as a word of men, but as it is in truth, the Word of God, which also effectually works in you who believe". St. Peter says the same: "For no prophecy ever came by the will of man: but men spoke from God, being moved by the Holy Spirit" (2 Peter 1: 21).
The inspiration of the Bible does not mean that the Biblical writers were merely secretaries who wrote word by word of what God inspired them. The Holy Spirit conveyed to the Biblical writers the truths to be expressed in Scripture, but the details of the writing itself reflects the emphases and personal style of the individual writers.

SCRIPTURE AND TRADITION

In 2 Thessalonians the Holy Apostle Paul exhorts, "Therefore, brethren, stand fast and hold the traditions which you were taught, whether by word or our epistle" (2: 15). St. Paul's statement clearly implies two inseparable elements of orthodoxy: the oral word, and the written word. It is impossible to fully understand the meaning of Scripture without also understanding the teaching of the Church. So, we only interpret Scripture within the context of the church which has been called by Paul: "The Pillar and ground of truth" (1 Timothy 3: 15). Therefore, the Church rather than the individual is the pillar of truth.

METHODS FOR BIBLE STUDY

1. Devotional Study: if you engage in no other form of bible study, you should at least engage in devotional reading. Read the bible, allow the Holy Spirit to convince you, and apply it to yourself.

2. Topical Study: This is what we will be doing in our Bible Study meetings every Wednesday. We will reflect on a topic related to our Christian life, discover what the Bible has to say about it, and find ways to apply to our life.

3. Book Study: This method is more applicable in Theological Seminaries. This method takes the historical, cultural, social contexts of the book into account. In this method, you can not understand the book without asking such questions: who is the author? Who was the intended audience of the book? Under what circumstances was the book written?

THE POWER OF GOD'S WORD

The Word of God has a Power to Change your Life: "For as the rain comes down, and the snow from the heavens, and does not return there, but waters the earth, and makes it bring out and bud, and give seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so shall My Word be, which goes out of My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall certainly do what I sent it to do" (Isa 55:10)

1. The Bible Instructs us in Righteousness: St. Paul exhorts us to "exercise yourself toward godliness" (1 Timothy 4: 7), and that we can do so by being "nourished in the words of faith and of the good doctrine which you have carefully followed". No one can live a godly life without the Holy Scripture.

2. The Word of God Protects the Believer from Sin: "With what shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your Word. With all my heart I have sought You; do not let me wander from Your Commandments. I have hidden Your Word in my heart, so that I might not sin against You." (Psalms 111: 9-11)

3. The Word of God Reveals our Inmost Thoughts and Tendencies: "For the Word of God is living and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing apart of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." (Hebrews 4: 12)

4. It Changes Us Into the Image of Christ: St. James in his Letter says: "But become doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if anyone is a hearer of the Word and not a doer, he is like a man studying his natural face in a mirror. For he studied himself and went his way, and immediately he forgot what he was like. But whoever looks into the perfect Law of liberty and continues in it, he is not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work. This one shall be blessed in his doing" (James 1: 22-25). And Paul says: "But we all, with our face having been unveiled, having beheld the glory of the Lord as in a mirror, are being changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Lord Spirit" (2 Corinthians 3: 18).

source: http://syriacbiblestudy.blogspot.com/2009/05/do-you-read-your-bible-bible-has-been_20.html

How to accomplish your goals

2010-02-14T20:47:00.000-05:00

FIRST: Why is it Important to have Goals?

Goals give you purpose and direction: "So then I run, not as if I were uncertain. And so I fight, not as one who beats the air. But I buffet my body, and lead it captive, lest proclaiming to others I myself might be rejected." (1 Corinthians 9:26)

Goals give you strength and hope: "What is my strength, that I should hope? And what is my end, that I should be patient?" (Job 6:11 ). I do not have the strength to endure. I do not have a goal that encourages me to carry on.

Goals keep you away from evil: "Let your eyes look right on, and let your eyelids look straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet, and all your ways will be established. Do not turn to the right hand nor to the left; remove your foot from evil." (Proverbs 4:25-27).

Question: "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4). What do you think the bible is really saying?

SECOND: What Goals God wants you to Seek?

You should seek first the Kingdom of God: "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you." (Matthew 6: 33).

Follow your dreams and seek every good work: "God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that in everything, always having all self-sufficiency, you may abound to every good work" (2 Corinthians 9:8).

Your goal should please and bring glory to God: "Therefore we are also laboring to be well-pleasing to Him, whether at home or away from home." (2 Corinthians 5:9). "Yea, in the way of Your judgments, O Lord, we awaited You; for Your name and for Your memory is the desire of our soul." (Isaiah 26:8).

Your goal should foster harmony and love with other Christians: "So then let us pursue the things of peace, and the things for building up one another." (Romans 14:19. "Follow after charity and desire spiritual things, but rather that you may prophesy." (1 Corinthians 14:1).

THIRD: Be Smart About It!

Most people never get the work done because they do not know how to set up their goals. You need to be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely.

Specific: Do not simply say: "I want to lose weight", say, "I want to lose ten pounds in the next three months".

Measurable: Measure your goals by keeping a journal, a checklist, a spreadsheet. For goals that involve exercise, you measure your progress with monthly statements.

Attainable: Your goal must be reachable. Do not have a goal of paying off all your debt in one year when your debt is more than your annual salary.

Realistic: You need to know your health, physical and mental abilities … etc.

Timely: Give yourself deadlines by which to accomplish your goals. You need to divide your big goal into intermediate goals to keep you on track.

FOURTH: How to Accomplish Your Goals?

Be committed: You need commitment when times are tough, when you feel alone or rejected, or when circumstances look bad. It is not easy to be committed. Sometimes, you might feel like giving up, but if you are committed to the work you are doing, you will resist the temptation and keep pursuing your dreams. Thomas Edison says "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."
Be determined: The prophet Samuel in the Old Testament said to all the people of Israel, “If you are really serious about wanting to return to the LORD, get rid of your foreign gods and your images of Ashtoreth. Determine to obey only the LORD; then he will rescue you from the Philistines.” (1 Samuel 7:3) To determine means to set your mind on a course of action. This kind of commitment means that you don’t back out, but you work toward the goal you have set. If you have made a decision to follow God and reach your goals, don’t allow excuses, distractions, or second thoughts to deter you from your goal. Just before his passion begins the bible says about Jesus that Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem. (Luke 9:51). Although Jesus knew he would face persecution and death in Jerusalem, he was determined to go there. That kind of resolve should characterize our life too. When God gives us a course of action, we must move steadily toward our destination, no matter what potential hazards await us there.
Do not take any shortcuts: God knows the best way for you. So, you do not need take the shortcuts. Speaking about the flee from Egypt, the Bible says: "And it happened, when Pharaoh had let the people go, God did not lead them by the way of the land of the Philistines although that was near. For God said, Lest the people repent when they see war, and they return to Egypt. But God led the people around, by the way of the wilderness of the Red Sea. And the sons of Israel went up armed out of the land of Egypt." (Exodus 13: 17-18). So, you do not need to complain or resist if God does not lead through the shortest path to your goals because he knows the safest and best route for us. Proverbs 14: 12 make it clear: "There is a way which seems right to a man, but the end of it is the ways of death." (Proverbs 14:12). Your need to follow God's way willingly.
Wait for the Lord: The bible is so clear about this: "Wait on the Lord, and keep His way" (Psalm 37:34). Waiting for the Lord means being patient waiting for His will to be done at the right time. It means allowing Him to control the events of your life. It also means spending time in prayer with him, meditating on His word, and keeping Him at the centre of our lives. "but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

Question: what are the first three priorities in your life? Have you set up goals to accomplish them?

source: http://syriacbiblestudy.blogspot.com/2009/07/how-to-accomplish-your-goals.html

Never give up on yourself

2010-02-13T20:45:00.000-05:00

Have you ever faced a situation and said: "there is no way this can ever be?" maybe some of these thought came to your mind: There is no way I can handle the pressure at work. There is no way I can pay my bills at the end of the month. There is no way I can lose the weight I need to loose. There is no way I can forgive this person.
I want you to know there is always away. It may not be an easy way to follow, it may not be convenient or come quickly. But if you keep trying and refuse to give up, you will find a way.
As a Christian you need to understand that God dwells thought His spirit within you. You have an access to the all the creativity that God is. The Holy Spirit will give you ideas that never occurred to you and show you ways to do things you never thought you could do.

You are an eagle

There are many people who are eagles but think they are chickens. Do you know the story of the eagle who grew up with chickens?
The eagle is bold, strong, courageous. The eagle knows how to ride the wind to fly high. It dwells on the rocks in high places and is confident enough to fly alone and to stand alone in life when necessary.
Do not think or act as a chicken. The bible tells us about the powerful truth about our thoughts: "As he thinks in his heart, so is he" (Proverbs 23: 7). We become what we think. The things we think about, focus on, and surround ourselves with will shape the people we become. So what do you think of yourself, an eagle or a chicken?

Question: In the course of your life, do you care for yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually?

Dwell on God's promises

1. Jesus did not promise to have rest in the world! "I have spoken these things to you so that you might have peace in Me. In the world you shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer. I have overcome the world." (John 16: 33). Paul knew that and he believe it: "so that no one should be drawn aside by these afflictions. For you yourselves know that we are appointed to them. For truly, when we were with you, we told you before that we were going to suffer affliction, as it also happened, even you know." (1 Thessalonians 3: 3-4)

2. God is so Powerful "Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert." (Isaiah 43: 19)

3. You have an authority over Satan This is true. The Bible tells us as well that we are to steadfastly resist him. "Therefore submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." (James 4: 7). So you need first to submit yourself to God, then resist the devil and God promises that he will flee from you. "You are of God, little children, and you have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." (1 John 4: 4).

4. God who allowed you to go through it can get you out of it! "No temptation has taken you but what is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but with the temptation also will make a way to escape, so that you may be able to bear it." (1 Corinthians 10: 13)

5. Take care of your self because you are God's house "do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit in you, whom you have of God? And you are not your own, for you are bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." (1 Corinthians 6: 19). Do not destroy the temple of God (your body) by being overcommitted, overworked, living on junk food, not drinking enough water, net getting enough sleep and rest, and failing to exercise.

6. Depend on Faith despite your feelings All of us feel bad sometimes. But this is not a reason to give up. Depend on faith rather on your feelings. Because with feelings you will concentrate on yourself, but with faith you depend on God. Paul said: "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?" (Romans 8: 31).

7. Wait, do not give up just before a breakthrough Whatever you find yourself in the middle of, determine to see it all the way through to the finish. The Letter to the Hebrews says: "let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily besets us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12: 1, 2)
And you need to wait for God to act: "But those who wait on Jehovah shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40: 31).Paul knew it. He wrote: "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith." (2 Timothy 4: 7). So we need to enjoy the journey as much as we enjoy reaching our destination. So, enjoy your life before it is over.

8. Have the spirit of a conqueror No matter what you go through depend on God to solve everything. Say to yourself "I will not tell my God how great are my mountains, I will rather tell my mountains how great is my God" Paul said: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4: 13).

Inspirational Story

In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before.
Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built. Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge. The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.
"We told them so."
"Crazy men and their crazy dreams."
"It`s foolish to chase wild visions."
Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever. He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment. It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife. He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.
For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do. Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.

source: http://syriacbiblestudy.blogspot.com/2009/06/do-not-give-up-on-your-self.html

Kids Recovering from Addiction / Educational Documentary

2010-02-07T13:19:00.001-05:00

Kids Recovering from Addiction / Educational Documentary. From the public domain. Sponsor: MCTFT

Discovering that a teen is using drugs or alcohol can be a scary experience for parents - many feel alone, ashamed, guilty, and confused about what to do next. In today's society, teens as young as 13 have often already tried drugs as powerful as cocaine or even heroin. They might tell themselves they will only try a drug once, but many teens find themselves under continual peer pressure to continue to experiment with drugs and "join the party." The biggest consequence to casual drug use can be that it develops into a true addiction and it can happen before they realize it. Very few addicts recognize when they have crossed the line from casual use to addiction.

Recovering From Addiction: The Kids' Perspective is an hour-long broadcast of teen panelists that will discuss their addiction and recovery process. The sooner you can recognize that your child or your friend is abusing alcohol or other drugs, the sooner you can seek help. If you notice changes in behavior, changes in friends, lying about after school or weekend activities, changes in mood, or depression your teen or someone you know might have a problem with substance abuse. Also, hear from an expert in adolescent addiction and intervention.

These topics among others will be discussed and will help others who are perhaps afraid or ashamed to seek help. The problem with addiction is that there are no rules as to who becomes a victim of this disease.

Learning Objectives:

Hear from recovering teens about how they became addicts

Understand how experimentation progresses to addiction

Learn the warning signs of addiction

See how easy accessibility can lead to a drug habit

Find out who can become a victim of addiction

Understand how relapse is often part of recovery and learn the warning signs

Hear from an expert in adolescent intervention and rehabilitation

Mor Gregorios Community Center Continues to Provide Free Help and Free Lunch

2010-01-29T13:18:00.001-05:00

Free Help with Unemployment and Free Lunch

The Mor Gregorios Community Center continues to provide help for individuals
with their unemployment claims. Using the center¹s computers, individuals
can file their unemployment claims and weekly unemployment reports, as well
as receive other worked related help.

Since the first of this year, the center has seen an increase in the number
of people seeking help. Last week, the Indiana Department of Workforce
Development announced that Indiana¹s unemployment rate had increased to 9.9
percent. This has also meant increased numbers at the Mor Gregorios
Community Center.

The Mor Gregorios Community Center provides free help to individuals in
Marshall, Starke, Fulton, and other surrounding counties. Volunteers trained
by the Indiana Department of Workforce Development on how to file
unemployment claims and weekly reports provide the assistance. The DWD also
provided the center with computers for the program. Other computers were
provided by Ancilla College. The center is one of the several community and
faith based organizations, which have partnered with Workforce Development.

On Sunday, lunch is provided to all using the services. And every day there
is coffee and support and help. Lunch is served on other days as well.

According to the Center¹s director, Father Theodosius Walker, ³Work is an
expression of our dignity and our involvement in God¹s creation. In this
time of economic crisis, as more and more people are losing their jobs, it
is harder for them to express this dignity. It is also harder for them to
pay their bills, provide shelter for their families, and generally make ends
meet.²

To file unemployment claims in Indiana, claimants must file online. Many
people lack the computer skills and computers to do so. Some find access at
friend¹s homes and libraries. But, more are turning to the Mor Gregorios
Community Center¹s employment program. For those who lack any computer
skills, volunteers help individuals actually filing their claims. The center
also helps individuals prepare resumes and file for jibs online.
Interviewing skills are also taught and practiced. There is also an
employment support group. The groups and the volunteers also help in any
way needed to provide practical job skills, career information, education,
technology, and support and mentoring to participants. The program supports
the pursuit of work and fair wages.

In addition to the employment program, the Mor Gregorios Community also
provides several other public programs. Some of these programs include the
following:

* Recovery Program: 12-Step classes and small groups for those with
additions, hurts, hang-ups, and other problems. Individual and pastoral and
spiritual guidance and direction are also available.
* Re-Entry Program: Working with recently released inmates from jail and
prison, helping them become productive citizens.
* Information and Referral: Case management. Provides information and
referral for emergency assistance to other agencies and programs.
* Community Development: Help with community outreach, mentoring, and
community development.

Father Theodosius said that, ³The early Christians, because of their faith
and experience of God¹s love, were able to perceive one another as brethren.
In their view, those on the margins of society (the poor, the widows, the
orphans, and the strangers) were the scale by which the justice of the whole
society was weighted. We can make a difference in the lives of your friends
and neighbors, and are called to do so by God.²

All Mor Gregorios Community Center¹s programs are open to all people.
Participants do not need to be Christians. The programs are open for those
of faith and of no faith. Everyone qualifies for the programs offered. All
programs seek to be supportive, respectful, and are always confidential.

The hours of the Mor Gregorios Community Center are as follows:
* Sunday 12:00 noon until 4:00 pm with free lunch served
* Monday 10:00 am until 4:00 pm
* Tuesday 10:00 am until 4:00 pm
* Wednesday 10:00 am until 4:00 pm
* Thursday 10:00 am until 4:00 pm
* Friday by appointment
* Saturday closed

The Mor Gregorios Community Center is located at 1000 South Michigan Street,
in the white A-Frame building on the corner of Oak Hill and Michigan
Streets, across from the Webster Elementary School, in Plymouth, Indiana.
Their telephone number is (574) 540-2048.

The Mor Gregorios Community is under an allegiance with the Syriac Orthodox
Church lead by His Holiness Ignatius Zakka I Iwas and the Catholicose of
India, His Beatitude Baselios Thomas I. Their bishop is Archbishop John
Cassian Lewis of Columbus, Ohio. The executive director is Father
Theodosius Walker.

For more information, please contact Father Theodosius at (574) 540-2048, or
by email at monastery@synesius.com.

Teen Drinking May Cause Irreversible Brain Damage : NPR

2010-01-26T13:32:00.000-05:00

Teen Drinking May Cause Irreversible Brain Damage : NPR

Christianity is not a religion. It is psychotherapeutic science

2010-01-22T21:21:00.000-05:00

OODE: "Many interpretations of Christianity have been formulated and many answers given to the questions: What is Christianity and what is its mission in the world? Most are not true. In what follows we shall seek to make it quite clear that Christianity, and especially Orthodoxy, is therapy. We shall also try to describe what therapy is and how it is attained.

Taken from the book “Orthodox Psychotherapy”, by Metropolitan Hierotheos Vlachos"

Open Mike Night at the Mor Gregorios Community Center

2010-01-13T12:04:00.001-05:00

The next Open Mike night at the Mor Gregorios Community Center will be Friday, February 5, 2010. Any one with a strange or an ordinary talent is invited to attend and perform. Poets, jugglers, musicians, singers, comedians are all invited. The Open Mike starts at 7:00 pm in the Great Room. You do not need a talent to attend and be entertained. If your talent is listening, you are also invited. The evening’s entertainment is free.

Refreshments will be available and those coming early are invited to join us in some awesome homemade soup in the Trapeza of the Cave.

The center’s computer center will also be open that evening.

The Mor Gregorios Community Center is located at 1000 South Michigan Street, Plymouth, Indiana. The center is located in the white A-frame building on the corner of Oak Hill and Michigan streets across from the Webster Elementary School.

For more information, you can call the center at 574-540-2048, or by email at monastery@synesius.com

Prayer is like breathing

2010-01-01T14:16:00.000-05:00

by Paulos Mar Gregorios

1. What is Prayer?
Prayer is like breathing. Without breathing we cannot live. When we breathe, air enters our lungs, cleanses the blood in our veins by relieving it of the carbon dioxide, and supplying it with oxygen. If I do not breathe for a few minutes I die. When I have hard physical work to do, I need more air than when I am sleeping or sitting in a chair.
Fortunately God has so ordained that we do not die spiritually just because we have failed to pray for sometime. But where there is no prayer sin accumulates and the proper functioning of the spiritual life becomes obstructed. And if you have important spiritual work to do you need more prayer than otherwise. Only those who pray constantly are exercising their spiritual muscles.
Prayer is communion or communication with God -opening ourselves to Him and receiving His love. It is by living consciously in this relationship of love that we can be transformed into the image of God. By prayer we become more like God, more loving, more wise, more powerful, more kind and good.
In prayer we are cleansed of the accumulated impurities of our life and we are supplied with power to live a good, kind and holy life.
Prayer is not a matter of asking God for all kinds of things. Some teen-agers speak to their earthly father only when they need money. We should not become like them in relation to our heavenly Father - going to Him only when we need something. The relationship is valuable in itself, as in all true love. It is not what we get out of it that matters, but the fact that we are in communion with our loving Heavenly Father.

2. Why Pray?
Does not God know what we need, even before we ask him? Why does He want us to ask? Does prayer change God’s will in any way? Can my prayer change the future that God has already determined?
These are legitimate questions that need to be answered. The Bible says clearly ‘your Father knows what you need before you ask Him’ (St. Mathew 6:8). But God wants that we know what is good for others as well as for ourselves. God wants that our will should not incline towards evil, but desire the good with deep yearning. Prayer is therefore a way of training the will to desire the good, as well as of turning our wills towards the highest concentration of all good, namely God.
Prayer is thus a way of becoming good by using our freedom to turn towards the good and to will the good. By prayer we become like God. God is good and wills the good. We should also become like God in willing and desiring what is good. By communion with God we also learn to desire the good which God also desires.
God said: ‘Let there be light’ and there was light. And God saw that the light was good (Gen. 1:3-4). What God willed became reality. We are to become like God. So we must also acquire the capacity to will the good, and it will happen as we desire, when we become more and more like God. Prayer is an expression of our will in desiring the good and realising it. When we are delivered from selfishness, pride, and evil desires, our prayers will become more like the creative Word of God, which merely by saying ‘let there be light’ can create light.
God has made us partakers of His own divine nature. He has called us to share in God’s own glory and excellence (2 Pet. 1:4). When we trust in God and live a life of discipline, prayer, worship, virtue, knowledge, godliness, brotherly affection and love (2 Pet. 1:5-8), we are transformed into God’s likeness and share in His divine power. God wants us to have a part in the task of shaping this world through prayer and knowledge and work.
By prayer we do change reality. God has given us that power. But this power is not available to us until we become more godlike. That is why the prayers of the saints are more effective than our own prayer - because they are more god like than we are. If the power to change the world by our will is in the hands of evil men, they will make the world evil. We have to grow in the capacity for prayer by developing the habits of prayer and loving service.
And our prayers should not be selfish. In prayer the first focus is God. The second focus is other people. Only in the third place should we ask things for ourselves. In the Lord’s Prayer all the first petitions are focused on God - His name, His kingdom, His will. This is the way our prayer should also be. We pray that God’s purposes may be established in the lives of all people, that evil may be banished from the earth, that all men may live together in peace and justice, praising God the centre and source of all good. Even in the prayers that ask for daily food, for forgiveness and for protection from evil, the first person singular (I, me) is not used in the Lord’s Prayer. We ask things for us, for all men.
When we all pray with love and faith, without selfishness or pride, our prayer changes things. God has more laws than the laws of physical science. He can make prayer achieve ‘miracles’ of healing and transformation which cannot be explained by medical science. Our science knows only some of God’s laws. Prayer is also subject to certain laws. It is the same power of God which operates in the scientific realm, and in the realm of prayer.
In prayer, we are never alone. Not even alone with God. Especially in group prayer, we commemorate all those who are members of the Body of Christ, for it is as a member of the Body that we pray, and the other members are always with us. This is why we commemorate the Prophets, Apostles, the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Martyrs, the Saints, the great Teachers and all the faithful departed and all the faithful living.

3. How Pray?
Prayer has to be learned. It is like swimming. When you are first thrown into the water, yo may sink. You then may think that the law of gravity is final and cannot be changed. But there are other laws, like those of buoyancy and motion. The mere knowledge of these laws cannot teach you to swim. One jumps in and slowly, by repeated practice, acquires the skills of remaining afloat and of moving on the surface of or under the water. And some people are more skillful swimmers than others, because they have learned the rules and acquired the skills by constant practice.
The first rule in prayer as in swimming, is not to give up just because you do not succeed in the first three or four attempts. Prayer is a spiritual skill to be acquired by constant practice.
The second rule, again as in swimming is to ‘let go’, to let the water support you, to be unanxious and relaxed. In prayer also we have to let ourselves go, relax, trust in God to support you and teach you how to pray.
The third rule is to keep up the practice, even if you do not feel like it, or enjoy it. In the life of prayer, our inherent love of sensual pleasures and our selfish love of laziness and comfort, will interfere to make us reluctant to keep up the practice, finding various excuses for not praying. There is no use saying ‘I don’t feel like praying’ or ‘I do not get anything from it.’ It will take years before you get the habit of prayer and really begin to enjoy it. One must strengthen the will to have control over the laziness of the body and the desires of the flesh if one is to make progress in the art and skill of prayer. There is nothing like regular practice which can teach you to pray.

A fourth rule, closely connected with the third, is: develop the discipline of prayer through fasting and self-control. Man does not become free and good like God until he learns to control his own inner drives and passions. Restraint of hunger and thirst, of anger and jealousy, of sexual passion, of the desire for glory and flattery, of the desire for bodily excitement and for sensual stimulation, and of all inner turbulences which make us do things against our own free will, is a necessary preparation for prayer. As good athletes competing for the Olympic Games go through very rigorous self discipline in order to keep their body, muscles and nerves in good condition, so should the man of prayer keep his body, mind and spirit and good condition and under conscious control.
A fifth rule is to use our whole body and even material things in the service of prayer. Prayer is an act of the whole man, body, soul and spirit - not simply an act of the mind. The body can participate in prayer through posture, speech, and acts:

(a) Posture - In our Eastern tradition, the posture for prayer in standing, facing east, with arms uplifted or folded in adoration and worship.

(b) Focus - It is good to have a focal point outside - a cross with two candles on each side, icons or pictures of Christ, of the Blessed Virgin Mother and of the Saints, or even a more elaborate prayer - altar fixed in some part of the house, where the whole family assembles for prayer. Crucifixes, i.e. crosses with the representation of the crucified body of Christ on it, belong to the Western tradition and are not to be encouraged in our tradition. In choosing pictures, it is best to use eastern icons. Pictures with the sacred heart of Christ or of the Virgin Mother are to be avoided, because these belong to a particular period in Latin piety and are not helpful for a balanced spirituality.

(c) Lips and Mouth - The body must pray - not merely the mind. Let your lips and mouth sing the praises of God, even if your mind does not always follow. The act of the lips and mouth is also your act of prayer, even without the concentration. Singing is better than saying your prayers, for in the very music certain human attitudes and aspirations are expressed.

(d) Wandering of the mind - Do not get anxious about the wandering of your mind. When you become aware that your mind is wandering, bring it back by consciously offering your wandering mind also to God. It is part of our confession about ourselves. “This is what I am Lord, distracted and unable to concentrate. I offer myself to Thee as I am. Take my wandering and distracted mind, and heal it by Thy grace.” God will forgive you and transform you gradually.

(e) Gestures - Use the gestures of prostration, bowing the head, making the sign of the cross, and giving the kiss of peace. Words are not the only means of expression we have. Folding the hands and bowing is a sign of adoration, and of waiting for a blessing. Lifting up your hands with palms open, can mean petition, penitence, and intercession. Prostration is like Sashtangapranama, the sign of complete surrender and submission, placing yourselves in the hands of God with full trust. Making the sign of the cross is a way of reminding ourselves that we have been saved by the Cross of Christ, in fact crucified with Christ. Keep your three fingers together (thumb, index and middle fingers) to touch the forehead (symbolizing the Trinity, the source of all life and all good) and make a descending motion to the lower side of your chest to signify the descent of the Son of God from heaven to earth for our salvation, then take your fingers from your left arm to your right arm signifying both the horizontal arm of the cross, and the fact that we who were on the left as children of darkness, have now been brought to the right side of God as children of light. Giving the kiss of peace is the symbol of mutual forgiveness and love, and it is a time for us to overcome all feelings of bitterness or anger against members of the family or others outside.
All these signs are part of a language which goes much deeper than words and transforms our sub-conscious minds which words can seldom reach.

A sixth rule is to keep the balance between group prayer and personal prayer. Man is not primarily an individual. It is as a member of the Body of Christ that he has any standing before God. Therefore it is important for us to come into the presence of God regularly as a community - as a family as a youth group, as a local congregation. And a community is composed of all kinds of people, not all of them exactly like you. They have different tastes, different ways of praying, different habits of prayer. I have to join them even sometimes when I think that their way of worship is not what it should be. Without participating in community worship and making the necessary adjustments necessary for joining them, we cannot get rid of our selfishness and pride, and grow to be a real human being.
But community worship is not enough by itself. We need various levels of community with varying degrees of intensity of relationship. The youth group and the family are more intimate communities than the congregation. New forms can be used in these smaller groups which will be difficult or unfamiliar for the congregation as a whole. The prayers in this book are mainly meant for family and group worship, but can also be used for personal prayer in the privacy of your own room at home or in the hostel.
In addition to these forms, however, some other forms of prayer should be mastered for personal use. The most effective and useful of these forms is called ejaculatory prayer. These are one - sentence prayers which one can repeat as many times as necessary, no matter, where or when. You can say them in your mind when you are waiting for a bus; when you are anxious about something; when you are facing temptation, when you feel bored and lonely, while you are lying in bed, comfortable and too lazy to get up; while going to bed and when sleep does not come immediately, and so on.

The following are some of the possible forms of ejaculatory prayer:

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, be merciful to me a sinner.
O God, Thou art my God. I love Thee. I am Thine for ever.
Lord, you are my Master and Lord, I give myself to Thee.
Lord, keep me in Thy ways, keep me from all evil.
Lord, have mercy, Lord, have mercy, Lord have mercy upon me.

You can make up your own forms of prayer, for here the Church lays down no rules for personal prayers. Of these forms above, the first was a favourite with the monks, and is known as the ‘Jesus Prayer.’’ They used to recite it thousands of times in a day as a sort of Mantra. In Mount Athos, the monks trained themselves to say this prayer along with every breath. They would say “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God” with every inhaling breath, hold the breath in the lungs for a few seconds and then exhale, saying “be merciful to me a sinner.” The idea was that the prayer should become as incessant an action as breathing, that the Lord Jesus Christ should become established in your heart as a deity is in a temple, and that you should constantly be in an attitude of prayer and repentance.
These forms of personal prayer as well as others should be developed. Each child of God has a right to speak to God any time and at all times, using his or her own words. There are no Church rules for personal prayer. It is an act of your personal freedom, and therefore is all the more pleasing to God when you use your own personal intimate language. Personal prayer enriches group prayer; common prayer in the family, group or congregation enriches one’s personal prayer; neither should be neglected. The two should balance each other. But the use of extemporary prayer is not to be encouraged in group worship.

A seventh rule is that prayer should be nourished by the reading of the scriptures and meditation. One can discipline one self to read a chapter of scripture every day.
Read aloud or silently. Meditate on the meaning of the passage. Devotional books may be helpful, but may also obscure the meaning of the scripture. Do not worry about whether the reading of scriptures gives you a feeling of devotion or not. Feelings are deceptive. What you need to find out is the answer to the following questions: “What was God saying to the people of that time through this passage? What does God say to me now?”
Systematic reading of the scriptures and memorizing some passages which touch you deeply will be found very helpful as life advances. You will be grateful to God in your middle age that you started reading and memorizing when your mind was still impressionable.
CONCLUSION
All these rules are to help you to become a praying Christian. Only your own sustained and disciplined practice will make you perfect. But remember one thing. Prayer can never be isolated from the common worship of the Eucharist and from the continuous, active compassionate love for your fellowmen. Let us all pray: “Lord, Teach us to pray. Amen.”

H. G. Dr. Paulos Mar Gregorios Metropolitan
(Written for Orthodox young people in India)

source: http://malankaraorthodoxchurch.in/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=118&Itemid=249

Orthodox Spiritually

2009-12-30T14:15:00.000-05:00

Introduction
Spirituality may be defined as the life in and with the Holy Spirit. It is an ascetic and pious struggle against sin through repentance, prayer, fasting and participation in the sacramental life of the Church. St. Paul Says: “Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish…. Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like…… But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. And those who have are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit” (Gal. 5:16-25). Orthodoxy has preferred always to use the terms ‘life in Christ’, ‘life in Spirit’, ‘the spiritual life’, and the ‘life in God’ to describe the life of the Christian in union with God, regardless of the level of this life. See Galatians 3:28; 3:20; 2 Corinthians 4: 11; 1 Corinthians 7: 8; Romans 8: 15; Ephesians 3: 16-17; Colossians 3:3; John 14: 23; 1 John 3:24 etc.

What is Orthodox Spirituality and what is it Goal?
Orthodox Spirituality presents the process of a Christian’s progress on the road to perfection in Christ, by the cleansing of passions and the winning of the virtues, a process which takes place in a certain order. Spirituality describes the manner in which the Christians can go forward from the cleansing of one passion, to the cleansing of another, and the same to the acquiring of the different virtues. Thus a certain level of perfection is reached and culminates in love. This is a state that represents the cleansing of all passions and the winning of all the virtues. As man/woman climbs toward this peak, he/she simultaneously moves toward union with Christ and the knowledge of Him by experience, which also means his/her deification.

The goal of Orthodox Spirituality is the perfection of the believer by his/her union with God in Christ. But as God is unending, the goal of our union with Him, or our perfection, has no point from which we can no longer progress. So all the Eastern Fathers say that perfection is unlimited. Thus our perfection is not only the goal but also an unending process. In this process two great steps can be distinguished: first, the moving ahead toward perfection through purification from the passions and the acquiring of the virtues and secondly a life progressively moving ahead in the union with God. At this point, man’s work is replaced by God’s. Man contributes by opening himself up receptively to an ever-greater filling with the life of God.

In short, we may narrate the following features of Orthodox Spirituality:

The culminating state of the spiritual life is a union of the soul with God, lived or experienced.
This union is realized by the working of the Holy Spirit, but until it is reached, man is involved in a prolonged effort of purification
It takes place when man reaches the ‘likeness of God’. It is at the same time knowledge and love.
Among other things, the effect of this union consists of a considerable intensification of spiritual energies in man, accompanied by all kinds of charisma.

The Orthodox uses the word ‘deification’ or participation in the divinity to characterize the union with God. It, however, does not mean that here there is a pantheistic identification of man with God. But it asserts with courage the possibility of a ‘union’ of man with God, of a direct ‘vision’ of Him, of a ‘participation’ in Him, through grace.

Orthodox Spirituality and this world
It is very important to note that Orthodox Spirituality does not call for an indifference to life, for a withdrawal from its affairs and for a pre-mature eschatology. The Church Fathers have demonstrated the movement of God’s creation (universe) and the need for every person to participate in it, if he/she wants to reach the perfection represented by the mystical union with God. There should be a synergia (co-operation) of human will and the divine grace (human will and divine grace are two unequal but equally needed forces in the movement to attain perfection. The Church denies any kind of teaching that deny either the divine grace or the human will in the process of attaining perfection). This movement is intended in general to elevate a person to the level of the highest good and to perfection.

The road to Christian perfection does not exclude this world and the works in it, but it does require that it contribute to the winning of virtues. No one should imagine that the work he/she does is an end in itself; it has the role of beautifying his nature, with the virtues of patience, of self-control, of love for his neighbor, of faith in God, and in turn of opening his eyes to the wise principles placed by God in all things. The ultimate purpose of work and the taking part in the life of this world is not so much the development of nature as it is the normal development of the dormant possibilities in man and in his neighbours. Even in the enduring of troubles, which is one of the most important means of Christian striving, we don’t have to run away from the life of the world, but persistence in it. The care for one’s own formation and that of our neighbours, by beautifying ourselves with virtues, does not mean a non-participation in the life of the world.

The one who has reached the peaks of spiritual living is no longer pre-occupied with external activity, but contemplation. Even so, he/she exerts an influence on the development of the world, by an attraction and a power which touch his neighbours, that they might become as he/she is, by the same fulfillment of the commandments, by the same virtous works. The person who has reached the peak of perfection exerts an influence and an attraction on his/her neighbours, which makes them strive to reach the ideal goal. Because the very highest of the virtues, which the spiritual man struggles for, is love. In love there is knowledge too and the love of God cannot be separated from the love of the people.

Holy Trinity is the basis and Love is the Hallmark of Orthodox Spirituality
The very basis of Christian life is in the mystery of Holy Trinity and Incarnation. Orthodox spirituality has as a basic conviction on the existence of a personal God, who is incarnated and who is the supreme source of radiating love. God prizes man and does not want to confuse him/her with Himself, but maintains and raises him to an eternal dialogue of love.

But the personal God, the supreme source of love, can’t be conceived of as a single person, but as a community of persons in a perfect unity. The God of the New Testament and of the holy Fathers is living and irreducibly three in one the Holy Trinity.

We may describe the Trinitarian basis of our spirituality in the following lines: Only a perfect community of supreme persons (the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit) can nourish, with its unending and perfect love, our thirst for love in relation to it and between ourselves. The Father wants to extend love in its paternal form. So after the creation of man, He wanted His Son to become man so that His love for His Son, made man, would be a love which is directed toward any human face, like that of His son. In the Son made flesh we are all adopted by the Father. The Father loves all of us in His Son, because the Son was made our brother. God the Son, too, thus shows His love as a supreme brother. But the Son’s love for us is not separated from the Father’s love for us, but in His love as a brother He makes the Father’s love and also His love for the Father, engulf us. In us the Father welcomes other loving and loved sons because His Son was made our beloved brother. However, this paternal love is poured out on us in the form of the Holy Spirit flooding the Son. By the Incarnate Son the Holy Spirit radiates within humanity and the world, as the love of God for us and of ours for God. The Holy Spirit brings into creation inter-Trinitarian life and love. He raises us to the level of deification. The invocation of the Holy Spirit in the Holy Qurbana (epiclesis) hasn’t only the purpose of changing the bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ, but of brining divine life into the creation. This is why the Church invokes the Holy Spirit in all her sanctifying services. We are raised up by the Holy Spirit to the divine world or in the other way the divine world penetrates us. This is what really the meaning and goal of our spirituality or spiritual life.

The Soul of Orthodox spirituality
The soul of Orthodox spirituality consists in the practice of virtues and especially in the gift of prayer. There is no spiritual life without prayer and there is no labour greater than praying to God. The Church has got canonical prayer of hours (seven times a day) and the unceasing prayers that can be recited privately even in the time of doing some jobs. Through prayer a faithful will be illumined and prayer is the measuring rode of a person’s spiritual life. St. Dionysious the Areopagite divides the spiritual life into three stages: Purification, illumination and deification (union). We may compare these stages with the stages of the practice of virtues, the contemplation of nature and the contemplation of God Himself. Practice of virtues begins with repentance. The baptised Christian struggles with God’s help to escape from enslavement to passionate impulses. By fulfilling the commandments, gradually he/she attains purity of heart and it is this that constitutes the ultimate aim of the first stage. At the second stage, the contemplation of nature, the Christians sharpens his/her perception of the being of the created things, and discovers the Creator present in everything and thus it leads him/her to respect and give honour to fellow creations. This leads him/her to the third stage, the direct vision of God, who is not only in everything but above and beyond everything. The full vision of the divine glory is reserved for the age to come, yet even in the present life, the saints enjoy sure pledge and first fruits of the coming harvest.

The first stage is called ‘active life’ while the second and third jointly designated the ‘contemplative life’. It is to be noted that not only the social worker or family member or the missionary who is following the active life, the hermit or the recluse is likewise doing so, in as much as he/she is still struggling to overcome the passions and to grow in virtue. In the same way the contemplative life is not restricted to the desert or the solitude, but a miner, a clerk, a typist or a house wife may also possess inward silence and prayer of the heart, a may therefore be in the true sense a ‘contemplative’.

Three Presuppositions
i) The Orthodox tradition is intensely conscious of the ecclesial character Christianity. It is of course true that there are many who reject Christ and His Church, or who have never heard of him; Whether they will be saved or not cannot be answered properly by us and let God will do as His will. But, as Church members, we believe that even a solitary in the solitary in the desert is as much a churchmen as the artisan in the city. The ascetic and mystical path is at the same time social and communal. The Christian is the one who has brothers and sisters. He/she belongs to a family and that family is the Church.

ii) Spiritual life is not only a life in the Church but also life in the sacraments. It is the sacraments that constitute our life in Christ. Our path is the path of corporate worship, centred around the sacraments and especially the sacrament of Eucharist. That is to say that it is in the communion of the Body and Blood of Christ that the Christian life is based and moved towards perfection.

iii) The spiritual life is also evangelical. At each step upon the path, we turn for guidance to the voice of God speaking to us through the Bible. After being inspired by what is written in the Bible, we lead ourselves to be the real witnesses of our Lord to our neighbours. We are asked to preach the Gospel and witness our Lord by practising the virtues of prayer, fasting and alms giving. Prayer unites us to God; fasting sanctifies us and alms giving (Charity) is really an extension of the divine Grace in us to our fellow beings and the rest of the creation.
These presuppositions obviously show the Trinitarian Christological, Pneumatological, Sacramental and ecclesiastical character of Orthodox spirituality.

Conclusion:
Orthodox spirituality gives enough and equal space for family life and monastic life. That means it gives equal value to those who follow family life and monastic life and no clear marked distinction is given to their goal although their style of life is different. The practice of virtues is highly extolled in both ways of life in the manner that is befitting to each of them.
Orthodox spirituality is not an ecstatic movement like some contemporary so-called spiritual movements. It gives us a lesson for the perpetual and continuing bliss that one can really experience in the Eucharistic worship of the Church. Flight from division, ascetic silence and hospitality are highly extolled in Orthodox spirituality. For the Church Fathers, ‘to flee from the world’ means to flee from every thing that divides. Also, the spirituality must ultimately be understood in terms of paschal mystery. It is an affirmation of the Cross-as the path of resurrection. The ability to bear the cross comes from the joy of being saved. Joy in our Lord is our strength. The aim of the exercise that at times is found painful is a purified love of God, of neighbours, and of the whole creation. But that also means an increase of joy.

Fr. Dr. M. John Panicker, Orthodox Seminary, Kottayam

source: http://malankaraorthodoxchurch.in/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=112&Itemid=246

THE CULTIVATION OF THE CHRISTIAN LIFE

2009-12-29T14:12:00.001-05:00

by Paulos Mar Gregorios

Here I wish to draw attention to a problem rather than to solve it. The theme assigned to me is ‘The cultivation of the Christian life’. May I first make four introductory propositions before attempting to chart the content and manner of cultivation of the Christian life.

I. Introduction
i. My first proposition is that the giving of priority in Christian thought and planning to the mission of the Church over the life of the Church is both contrary to the Scriptures and harmful to humanity.
In the last two hundred years or so, there has been a growing tendency to exaggerate the evangelistic task of the Church. The sending of missionaries to foreign countries, at first resisted by the Western Protestant churches, later became the thing to do for all churches. That great pioneer of the modern ecumenical movement, John R. Mott, cannot himself be exculpated from the responsibility for this gross exaggeration. The fact that words like witness, evangelism and mission have now been ascribed a wider and more comprehensive meaning does not mitigate the situation. There is still too much emphasis on talking and acting. and too little on the subtler qualities of life that have always made the Christian the salt of the earth.
Grace and Apostleship-I. suspect Apostleship is the new word for mission. The word mission is hard to find either in the New Testament or in the Great Fathers and Doctors of the Church, or even in the Reformers. Its currency in Christian parlance happens to coincide with the mission of the West European powers to colonize and civilize the rest of the world. Not that there have not been great missionaries in every age and every clime in the Church. But they did not feel than everybody had to be a missionary; nor did authentic Christian missionaries ever try to colonize a mission field for generation after generation, refusing to leave or to stop bringing new missionaries once the Church had been established.

But let us begin with the New Testament. The Greek word for mission ‘Apostle is, used a total of four times in the whole New Testament—Acts 1: 25, Romans 1:5,
1Cor.9: 8,and Gal. 2:8. In each of these four cases it refers specifically to the ministry of the Twelve or of St. Paul, as distinct from the ministry of the whole Church. Only in Gal. 2:8 is the word translated ‘mission’ in English. but even here the meaning is clearly that of St. Paul’s’ special calling to be the Apostle to the Gentiles. Being an Apostle was not everybody’s business the New Testament church. It required certain given qualifications which none of us today can aspire to. At least three can be mentioned here: (1): to have b a disciple of Jesus during his earthly ministry (2) to have seen the Risen Lord with one’s own physical eyes, and (3) to have ‘been commissioned directly by the
Risen Lord to go and preach. St. Paul lacked the first qualification, and had to press his claims to Apostleship despite this disqualification, as we see from Galatians. ‘Apostole’ or Mission in that restricted sense appears a special privilege of a chosen few and not of the whole Church.

When we come to the verb apostellein—to commission, the picture would appear to be somewhat different. The verb occurs 133 times in the New Testament. But strangely enough 121 of these are in the Gospel’s and Acts, and only four in the Pauline writings (Rom. 10:5,Cor. 1:17, 2 Cor. 12:17 and 2 Tim. 4:12). In none of these instances does it mean the whole mission of the whole Church.
The virtual absence of the words ‘Commission’ and ‘Mission’ in St. Paul’s writings at least, should give us cause to reflect. Why does the greatest missionary of the Church’s history fail to exhort the Christians to whom he writes to become missionaries? Why is what has become axiomatic tn western Christian thought, both Catholic and Protestant, namely that mission is the central task of the Church, apparently absent in St. Paul?
We know that St. Paul was full of missionary zeal and the early Christians spread the Gospel with fervent earnestness. Was it then because it was superfluous that St. Paul did not exhort them to mission and witness? That seems a little difficult to believe. The centrality of the Cross and Resurrection or of the Grace of God, could just as well have been taken for granted by St. Paul. Yet he does dwell on these themes at some length. I suspect that the phenomenon is to be attributed more to St. Paul’s divine wisdom than to his taking it for granted.
To put over-emphasis on mission is to invite the danger of empty words, vain activism and hypocritical sell-assertion. This was driven home to my mind during a’ conversation with a cultured and highly spiritual Hindu friend in India. ‘Christ‘, he said to me, ‘has a tremendous appeal to the people in India. If only those who bear his name were not so arrogant and self- assertive and so unlike their Master, India would be gathered at the feet of Christ’. That of course is an exaggeration. But for St. Paul at least, the life of Christian community was more important than its con-scious words of witness or missionary action. Take any of the Pauline epistles and examine the hortatory passages in them. Is he calling the churches to be witnessing communities or missionary congregations? The words he uses are significant. I mention only a few that the New Testament as a whole as well as St. Paul in particular uses rather frequently. Hagios =holy occurs 229 times in the New Testament of which 78 are in the Pauline epistles. Zoe=life and Zao=live occur 276 times, of which 96 are in the Pauline epistles. Agape = love, Dikaiosune = righte- ousness, peripateo =walk, ginomai = become, apothnesko = die, ginosko=to know, kaleo= call, kosmos=world: these are some of his favorite words.

Even evangelizo (evangelize) and martureo (witness) do not occupy a central place in Pauline thinking. Evangelizo he uses 23 times, but in most cases referring to his own special calling and in no case as the responsibility of all Christians; Martureo 9 times. marturia and martus 9 times, but in none of these cases does it refer to the witness of
5the whole Church or to the witness of individual Christians to Jesus Christ. In fact the manner in which we use the word witness is thoroughly un-Pauline. Quite often when St. Paul ‘bears witness’ to somebody, it is a weaker man whom he wants to support by his testimony.
Why have we today accepted a concept as central to our Christian thought, which is central neither in St. Paul nor in the Fathers of the Church, nor even in the Reformers? With due respect and appreciation for the great accomplishments of the modern western missionary movement to which most of us owe our Christian faith let me submit that there are two grave errors in - that movement. In both respects the modern missionary movement departs from the practice of the Church. First, no previous missionary movement has used the practice of missionary colonization, either through. Foreign personnel or through financial controlling power.
Secondly, no authentic missionary regarded his calling as a calling of all Christians. This was John It. Mott’s big mistake, and our self-conscious emphasis on mission makes the Church an unbearable bore; when everybody regards himself as a missionary and a preacher the gospel gets cheapened and the Word loses its power. We Asian Christians seem to have been thoroughly brainwashed in this regard. We have acquired that dangerous missionary self-consciousness which leads to hypocrisy, sham and pride. We too have started bragging about the number of Asian missionaries sent out by the Asian churches. I may in my more sinful moments be all in favour of sending out some Asian missionaries to the West, if only to get even with them, as a sort of ‘tit for tat’. But St. Paul. Never measured the spiritual vitality of a church by the number of missionaries it sent out.

New Testament standards for a church are always the depth of faith, the binding quality of love, the stead fastness of its hope, the holiness of its life.
So my first introductory proposition is that the time has come for the Asian Church to be redeemed, from this missionary brainwashing. An authentic mission can ensue only from an authentic Christian life of the community. The over-emphasis on mission is unscriptural and harmful.

2. My second introductory proposition is that the cultivation of the Christian life should be considered first in terms of the life of the whole Church, and only secondarily in terms of individual Christian lives.
The development of individualism in Christian spirituality cannot the attributed to Protestantism. It has its roots in the Egyptian Antonine monasticism; but it came to its full flowering in the medieval Roman Catholic piety of Belgium and Holland. When the eucharistic and ecclesiàl spirituality of St. Dionysius the Pseudo Areopagite was assimilated and transformed by the great Saints of the Low Countries, what emerged was the pro- found but largely individualist spirituality of Gerhand ‘Groote, Ruysbrooke and Thomas a Kempis. Dionysius was probably a Syrian and a Semite who could not think in individualist terms. For him spirituality was a matter of a community assembled around the un- approachable holiness of God’s Person. It was in the Eucharistic adoration of the celestial and ecclesial community that the beatific vision was to be found. No man or angel stood alone before God. There was no place to behold God except in the community of God’s people .on heaven and on earth. But when it was redeveloped 7in Latin and Greek piety the ‘mystical’ vision became an encounter of the ‘alone with the alone’. When this spirituality was combined with a distorted vision of Egyptian monasticism, which searches for the salvation of the soul, the basis of modem individualism was already born.

The reaction to the dry post-Reformation Protestant scholasticism, which took shape as Pietism was in its beginnings still a social movement. Zinzendorf and the Brethren of the Common Life were still not indivi- dualists. Early Pietism, by affirming the primacy of love over the correctness of academic theology, continued to maintain the emphasis on community. Even Luther, who developed the spiritual basis of individualism by his enunciation of the principle of private interpretation of Scripture, still held that the people of each princedom were to choose collectively for the Reformation.

In a sense the modern missionary movement brought this nascent individualism of the Western spiritual tradition fully into the open. Individuals started the missionary movement over against the Church. The gospel of the modern missionary movement was addressed to individuals. They had to choose, often over against the family and the community. The convert was separated from the community and placed in a ghetto.
There is of course a positive side to this individualism. The importance of the human person which is increasingly accepted as a secular value, has its roots in this individualism of the Western tradition. God has used the wrath of men to praise him. The value of the person before God is a genuinely Christian insight which had to be clarified even at the cost of exaggeration and over emphasis.
But my second introductory proposition is that the time has come to correct this over-emphasis, and that this can be done only by thinking first, of the community and only then of the person of the individual in it. There may be the danger, as Mr. M. M. Thomas has pointed out, particularly in Asia of the value of the person being overlooked in the interests of the collectivity. But the proper approach is always to keep the person and community together, with the primacy given to the community. In that sense the Asians may yet be proved right, only they will learn to combine the value of the person with their present emphasis on the national community.

3 My third introductory proposition is. that the cultivation of the Christian life, i.e. the life of the Church should be understood in the context of the sum total of creation, rather than in terms only of the world of men.
It is a genuinely evangelical insight that the Church exists as a foretaste of and for the sake of the total human community. It is an equally important insight that the Incarnation is a historical event, and that history itself is to be redeemed.
But there is more than that t be said. Men are but part, be it ever the most important part, of the total of creation. And human history is but a small though significant page in the history of the cosmos.
Nothing less than the whole created order, the time- space universe in its entirety, stretching across billions of years of time and millions of light-years of space,can be the object of God’s love and redemptive activity. Our little planet, and this short 5000-year span of our human history, should be seen in the perspective of the whole universe, and in continuity with it. The formation of our little solar system in our little galaxy is an event in the life of the universe leading up to the Incarnation. But the Incarnation and the life of the Church have significance for the whole universe. It is God’s will and purpose that the new man in Christ should be the mediator between the creation and the Creator.
This material element of redemption is what St. Paul has in mind when he says in Romans 8: 19-21‘For the yearning of the created order eagerly awaits the unveiling of the Sons of God. It was not because the created order wished it that it was ordained to emptiness but through Him who so ordained it but under hope (of better things). for it is a fact that the created order is to be freed from its enslavement to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God.’

Whatever heaven may be. it must include a liberated and reconstituted material creation. This is one of the fundamental insights of the doctrine of the Incarnation.Matter has been assumed by the Logos, the Son of God, and is therefore redeemed. Matter is no longer opposed to Spirit, but becomes its field and raw material. This is why science and technology are already within God’s plan of redemption.
‘The Church is like a tree planted on the earth. It is the planting of the Lord. The seed is Christ Himself- the seed that fell into the ground and died. ‘Unless grainof wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies it bears much fruit’ (John 12: 24). The Kingdom of heaven ‘is like a grain of mustard seed, which a man took and sowed in his garden, and it grew and became a tree, and ‘the birds of the air made nests in its branches’ (Luke 13: 19).
But this planting of the Lord, like other plants and trees, has to have roots in the earth to draw nourishment, and leafy branches open to the light of heaven. Both are equally essential to its life and growth. The cultivation of the Christian life cannot neglect either the rootage in the earth or the openness to light, without endangering that life. Rooted in the Incarnation of our Lord Jcsus Christ, and the material reality of our daily existence, the Church grows by drawing nourishment from the life of the world, material and historical. Open to the light of God in Jesus Christ, the Church draws in the energy of the Son in eucharistic worship and private prayer. If worship is without roots in the life of the world, the tree fades and dries up. But if openness- to the sun is shut off as may be the case in modern secularism, the tree withers away and dies,
The Church cannot be so concerned about the world as to neglect its own life of worship and prayer. Neither can it so devote itself to prayer and contemplation as to neglect the life of the world.

This unity of matter and Spirit is best expressed in the writings of that great French savant, Pierre Teilbard de Chardin in his two important books The Phenomenon of Man and Le Milieu Divin. He seeks in his own words ‘to reconcile, and provide mutual nourishment for the love of God and the healthy love f the world, a striving towards detachment and a striving towards the enrichment of our lives’.
De Chardin is bold enough to say, and to pray, that the work of our minds, of our hearts, and of our hands that is to say our achievements. wha we bring into being, our opus’ will also be in s sense ‘eternalised’ and saved. And that boldness remains yet to be acquired by all churches, Protestant, Catholic or Orthodox.
It is natural for us to rail and cavil at our own activism, at our own organizational bureaucracy. at our own multiiplicity of programmes and projects, at the rushed pace of our lives, at the restlessness of our souls. These are somewhat new phenomena which perplex and frustrate us, for we seem unable as yet to. cope with them without losing our inner tranquillity. Some would counsel us to go back to the glories of a mythical golden age, when everybody was spiritual, peaceful and pro found. Alas! God has placed us within the inevitable flow of time and there is no way back. It is idle to dream of a revival of pre-technological civilization. Man, especially Christian man, stands inescapably confronted with this bewildering new world, with the challenge to find a new spirituality in this new world which offers us no easy place of rest.
And yet man has to do much more than adjust to the new. He must learn to find his own true being within the new situation. Our generation is in that burdensome position of having to pioneer for a totally new world; to discover the shape o a new obedience.
Matter must -be drawn into the -realm of the Spirit. This has been the calling of man since his creation. Yet mattter in the eloquent words of De Chardin is the burden;. the fetters the pain, the sin and the threat to our lives. It weighs us down, suffers, wounds, tempts and grows old. Matter makes us heavy, paralysed, vulnerable, guilty. Who will deliver us from this body of death? But at the same time matter is physical exuberance, ennobling contact, virile effort and the joy of growth. It attracts, renews, unites and flowers. By matter we are nourished, lifted Up, linked to everything else, invaded by life. To - be deprived of it is intolerable’.

How to harness this power of matter so that it is no longer a drag and a burden but a spur and nourishment that is the spiritual question of our time. We do not need today a spirituality divorced from the conflicts and struggles of living with earthly things. These poetic words of de Chardin contain a spiritual depth which the Church has yet to plumb. He addresses matter:
Matter, you in whom I find both seduction and strength, you in whom I find blandishment and virility, you who can enrich and destroy, I surrender myself to your mighty layers, with faith in the heavenly influences which have sweetened and purified your waters. The virtue of Christ has passed into you. Let your attractions lead me forward, let your sap be the food that nourishes me; let your resistance give me toughness; let your robberies and inroads give me freedom. And finally let your whole being lead me towards God.’
All of history, and the physical universe. are to be redeemed. No true cultivation of the Christian life can afford to ignore this.

4. My fourth introductory proposition is that the cultivation of the Christian life has to be conceived in terms of death, resurrection and the last judgment.
Death, of course, is an embarrassing subject for our modern civilization. Particularly in those countries where the cost of dying is rising higher than the cost of living and the undertaker is at the top of the affluent society, death has to be embalmed, romanticized, covered up in expensive caskets and decorated with lilies and roses.
Yet death is a fact to be faced, and a power which has been conquered, though in a sense different from the Undertaker’ Association concept of the conquest. We must all die.
The concept of a ‘Responsible Society’ is not meant to cover the whole area of the Christian faith. Yet it is a temptation for the ecumenical movement to give it so-central a place in our thinking as to overshadow and obscure the eternal life aspect of the gospel. ‘Responsible Society’ as a category for describing the task of the Christian Church cannot deal with the problem of death. We know that this world is to go up in flames, and no society, however responsible can expect to give life to dead men, or to survive the final conflagration. There is a real danger in our time of the Social Gospel, of the old and discredited liberalism of an earlier decade of our century, dominating our Christian thought in such a way as to eclipse the transcendent and obscure the issue of death. Especially in Asia, but also elsewhere in the world, the emphasis on social relevance, on understanding the tides of history, on nation-building, on social and political activity directed towards the centres of power and our science and technology can obscure the problems of the death of the individual,’ of the impermanence of history, and of the eschatological nature of human existence.

What happens to men who have developed a high level of social and political responsibility, when they are confronted with personal death, as every individual human being must be confronted at some point in his life? What happens to the human person whose Spirituality has been developed almost exclusively in the context of social and political responsibility when he ultimately dies and his physical body disintegrates? The cultivation of the Christian life has to face this question also if the Christian message is to be fully relevant. ‘The gospel is the gospel of victory over death, and in Christ, there is more than new social political life
So much by way of introduction. We must now enter into the content of the Christian life and the manner of its cultivation.

II The Content and Manner of the Christian Life
Let me state in a sentence what I regard as the content of the Christian life, and say a few words to explain it.
The Christian life, coming from the grace and peace of Cod, is a life of faith in Jesus Christ, where the Holy Spirit creates joyous freedom in the community of suffering love, led by the transcendent hope of Resurrection and final victory and where ‘wisdom and power are developed to the full for the manifestation of God’s glory.
One could speak for hours on every phrase in that sentence, but we shall seek here only to dwell on some main points:

1. The Vocation of Man:
The calling of the Christian Church cannot be under stood except in the context of the vocation of man as man. ‘The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him for ever’ says a Calvinist confession.
This is in general agreement with the ancient tradition of the Church though that tradition prefers to begin from the biblical assertion that Man is made in the image of God.
Image here means more than resemblance. The Greek words used by the New Testament and the Fathers is eikon ‘Jesus Christ is the eikon of the invisible God, the first-born of all creation’ says St. Paul (Col. 1:15) The passage continues: ‘He is the head of the body, the Church, he is the principium, the first-born from the dead’.
Jesus Christ does not merely resemble God. He is God physically present in the created order. An icon is the concrete and proximate presence of an invisible or distant reality not simply a photograph or a reproduction which can be an aid to memory. Man’s vocation is to be in the image of God, as created. He is to be, in the Jesus Christ, the physical presence of god in the universe. This is the vocation, which Christ fulfilled and continues to fulfill through his body.
The calling of the Church is to be this icon, or physical presence of God within the created order. Any spirituality oriented merely to the salvation of the soul, to the beatific vision, to political and social responsibility, or to witness and service, would go wrong if it does not start from this point. The being of the Church cannot be separated from its doing or talking, but that being must be regarded as primary and basic to all doing and talking.
But what does it mean for the Church to be the physical presence of God in the created order? It means nothing less than the social and corporate embodiment of all that God is. His glory is the only standard for man. And we all come short of it, as St. Paul says in Romans 3:23. There is no static nature of man, which can be called good or evil, righteous or sinful. The nature of man is joyous freedom- it is not bound by anything, even by his creatureliness. God has crowned man with glory and honour, putting everything in subjection under his feet’ (Heb3:7-8). This is the eschatological vocation of man, fulfilled in Christ, but only invisibly and mysteriously realized in the life of the Church and of mankind.

2. Glory of Man:
But what is this glory? Is it sitting on a jewel-studded throne, wearing a triple tiara, with a company of sycophants singing man’s praises all around him? That is the great misunderstanding of glory. That is the error of triumphalism.
The glory of God, as it manifests itself in man in history, is to be expressed in basically the same way as Jesus Christ manifested it.
‘Father, the hour has come; glorify thy Son, that Thy Son may glorify Thee’. What was this hour of Jesus glory? The hour of the Cross! The Cross is the dimax of a life of glory of which Jesus said ‘I glorified Thee on earth, having fulfilled the task Thou didst give me to do (John 17:4).
In manifesting through rejection and revilement, the love, the wisdom, and the power of God, Jesus glorified God on earth. And our task is the same. To accept suffering, rejection and unpopularity, infirmity and contempt, and in that context to acquire God’s wisdom as Jesus did, to develop God’s healing and life-giving power as Jesus did, and to manifest God’s gracious love as Jesus did.

This wisdom, this power, and this love did not come to him automatically by virtue of His being the Son of God. He accepted the limitations of manhood, and his first traces of wisdom and power and love were imparted to him by his mother, who fed him and nourished him, who taught him his first lessons and gave him that infinite mother-love, without experiencing which no human being can learn to love.
Yes, that is where the cultivation of the Christian life begins; in the simple love joy and peace of the family. The spiritual life is not some energy transmitted by direct cables from heaven into the heart of each soul, but comes through the normal channels of our daily life as well.
But Jesus did not develop his power, his wisdom and his love from the family alone. The New Testament gives us few clues in this regard but already by the age of twelve, he is in the company of devout Jewish scholars, learning from them and often teaching them. Later he must have joined a monastic community. There is every possibility that he spent the springtime of his youth in the Essene communities along the Dead Sea coast where he developed in community his own power, wisdom, and love and imparted it to others. Of course, he had to disagree with them and Part Company, but yet he was no doubt trained in that framework.

3 The Place of Prayer:
If there is one thing that is clear about the mysterious private life of Jesus, it is that he was a man of prayer. He could continue all night in prayer to God—and that is a’ feat which is acquired only by prolonged discipline ‘and practice. Yes, the Son of God so limited Himself to be the Son of Man that he had to learn the life of glorifying God through channels open to every human being, and not by fiat, by simple virtue of his miraculous divine power, but by the power which is available to all men and which is in fact the sign of authentic humanity. That is the difficulty of ‘proving’ the deity of Jesus by the miracles. You do not have to be God in order to perform miracles. Every religion on earth can produce authentic miracles, which do not prove the deity of the miracle-worker. The New Testament speaks of the working ‘of miracles as one of the gifts of the Spirit given to men in the Church.
This is not a digression. Prayer is the lost art of the Church. Modern man cannot pray. Even his intercessions become either pious propaganda for particular causes, designed to remind the people of these needs rather than to place them before God in faith. Our technical age has brought two new obstacles in the way of prayer. First, we have developed our academic consciousness to the point where we cannot believe what, we or some learned scientist on our behalf, cannot under stand. And the scientist cannot see how prayer can have any effect on the course of events which are guided ‘by laws other than that of prayer. We seem to have discovered these scientific laws by the experimental method, though many things remain embarrassingly obscure to our vision in the causal networks. But with our academic minds trained to seeing reality operating according to laws other than that of prayer, we find it difficult to believe in the efficacy of prayer. The only possibility is to hope that prayer will have a ‘psychological’ effect. Fortunately psychology is still a highly inexact science, and we secretly hope that it will not become too exact and rule out the possibility of prayer being explained by some vague phrase.
The second difficulty in prayer has been most illuminatingly pointed out by Martin Buber in his work On the Eclipse of God. This is .a penetrating insight indeed. Modern man, especially the academically well-trained man, has his self-consciousness so highly developed, that it becomes a problem to him. Just as he begins to pray, he becomes aware of the fact that he is praying, and this self-conscious awareness comes between his consciousness and God, thus eclipsing God. It is a very ancient insight of the spiritual tradition of Eastern Christianity that self-consciousness is the great enemy of prayer. Prayer requires the willingness to lose ourselves in God. Modern training teaches us never to lose ourselves for error is the great enemy of science and a fully alert mind alone an guard against this enemy. Truly to pray is to experience a kind of death of the consciousness. The rational prayers of western collects, beautiful and sublime in their thoughts, cannot often lead inert to this confident and trusting surrender to God which is the better part of faith—both in our corporate worship and in our private prayer.
Prayer is the means by which the image of God is imprinted on the life of man, as individuals and in community. Prayer is the secret of freedom, of wisdom, power and love. Prayer makes man authentically man in the image of God.
God said, Let there be light, and there was light. God’s word creates reality. Man’s word of prayer must become a creative word. He must develop his wisdom, his love and his power to such an extent that his ardent desires expressed in articulate prayer or inarticulate groanings should create the object of those desires. But those desires should first conform to the general - plan and purpose of God. Man’s usual desires are not always in consonance with the purpose of God. Freedom in Christ means deliverance from the usual selfish and anxious desires of man, and the development of the power to pray. Very few of us have moved out of the kindergarten of prayer.

4. A Place to Stand:
Man stands upon the emptiness of creation. He has emerged out of the creative evolution that is the ongoing process of this time-space cosmos. The freedom that inheres in the creation by the gift of God, through the inter-play of chance and anti-chance factors, has given birth to our solar system, our planet, and life on our planet. Out of this tree of life, which has again grown up through the play of chance and anti-chance factors, has been produced this strange two-legged animal called man, continuous with the material creation, plant and animal life, but endowed with a consciousness capable of infinite development.
The process of evolution, initiated by God, operates through the factors of mutation, which produce variety. It works through large masses which provide infinite variety and the possibility of selective survival through the surge of life which manifests itself as the urge to re production, and finally through the elimination of the unselected through decay and death.
With the emergence of the consciousness of man, a new principle has been brought into play, in this vast process of creative evolution. De Chardin’s great book,The Phenomenon of Man, is an exciting elucidation of this point man is still part of the great surge of creative evolution, and as such is subject to the play of the forces and factors operative in the process. But he is more than merely subject. He is called upon, not simply to be a passive object to be moulded by that process, but to rise up on his two feet, to take hold of that huge and infinitely powerful creative process, and to mould it. From within the material that is being moulded, by God’s grace, has now risen a moulder.
To emancipate oneself from the bondage to the turbulent forces of Creation, to reflect upon and understand these forces, and then to mould them in accordance with the general purpose of God, transmuting the whole process including man to reflect the ordered beauty of God’s glory—in the fullness of God wisdom, love and power this is the calling of man, and the content of the - Christian life which we are to cultivate in the Holy Spirit. But how? I shall only state the how in terse outline.

(a) To be freed: ‘Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the- Lord, are being transformed into his eikon from glory to glory. This also comes from the Lord, the Spirit’ (2 Cor3:17-18)
Christ has conquered the turbulent forces of Creation, the principalities and powers. He is the Man who has been freed. We need no longer be afraid of those forces, whether they be demonic powers which hold many primitive societies in fear and thraldom, or the more subtle power of death, guilt and the fear of punishment which holds modern man in their power. Neither do we need to be afraid of the forces and powers of Secularism. Communism, Atheism, other religions, political totalitarianism, or any other such threatening powers.
Man has no ground to stand on in the created order ‘where he can be secure. -Neither in his own powers nor in his wisdom can he find a place to stand. But we must first have a place to stand, before we can deal confidently with these tremendous forces which we are to control. -
And that place to stand is the Body of our Risen-Lord. There is no other place in creation which is not subject to death and decay. Christ is risen Hallelujah. Man is no longer at the mercy of the turbulent forces of creation. He has a place to stand. That is the good news. To stand in Him, to abide in Him, that is freedom.
Standing in Him means also - standing in adoration and worship. Faith is not a momentary act--not a leap. It is a standing. It is access with confidence into the presence of God.This is the plan of ages which God has realized in Jesus Christ our Lord’, says St. Paul in. Ephesians 3 : 11-12, ‘in whom we have boldness and confident access by his faith’.
It is in the Eucharistic worship of the Church that this bold access into the presence of God is realized, and man is able to stand in the eternity of the eschaton in Jesus Christ, with the angels and archangels, in the presence of Him to whom the Heavenly Hosts sing the great mystic hymn of adoration, ‘Holy, Holy. Holy’.
To be freed then is to have a place to stand and to join the company of eternity standing in the presence of God.

(b) To be Wise: It is in this stand in Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit, that the word of wisdom is spoken to us in the Scriptures. Bible study is some thing that takes place primarily and fundamentally in this heavenly eucharistic context. But this context is not divorced from the ordinary life of the great process of creative evolution. We bring this process with us when we come to the eucharistic adoration and there the word of power directly related to the life of the cosmos is spoken to us Listening to the scriptures in the eucharistic context of standing: before God is the way to wisdom.

(c) To be Empowered: As we offer ourselves in the eucharist as first-fruits of the whole process of creative evolution in identification with the one sacrifice of Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit to God the Father, then, He who sits on the throne gives himself to us in His Body and his Blood. That is the new life, the new power, which goes back into the process of creative evolution and transmutes it.

(d) To Live with Joy: We come back into the process of creative evolution, to live and love and work, in joy and peace, in suffering, with humility, to fulfil that which God has given us to do—whether it be in politics, in administration, in evangelism, or in scavenging.

(e) To Live with Eyes Open: We see the world now in a new perspective, as the arena where God’s purposes are being worked out. We act in accordance with our new insights, and help others to gain, these new insights. This means that all human knowledge is to be pains-takingly, acquired by Christian men and transmuted in this new perspective.

(f) To Live in Grace: By the joy of forgiveness we transmit the joy of grace to others. Not simply by the proclamation of forgiveness, but by ourselves living as a community of openness not in deceit and sham and’ false piety, but in the truth of openness in the loving acceptance which is open to all men. The grace of God often overflows into society without drawing men into’ the Church. but this is also part of God’s mercy to man.

(g) To Study and to Work: We enter into science and technology, into historical activity, also with the same boldness with which we enter the presence o God, for He is now master of this process and has sent us to master it. We work alongside others who do not believe. We cannot offer the life o the world to God without ourselves becoming participants in the hard work of that world.

(h) To Pray with Groaning and Agony: As we see ‘God’s purposes being thwarted by the willfulness and ignorance of man, as we see our own openness and love rejected by men, as we experience our own sinfulness and incapacity to do that which we know to be good, we pray all the more earnestly. We agonise to discover what would be the best in each situation, and with full awareness of our own incapacity to do much about it, we pray deeply, groaningly, with all the strength of our aspiration, that that which we see to be best in that situation may be fulfilled.

And God, who has willed that we should be His children and co-creators with Him, when we have suffered for a while, will exalt us and crown the creation with glory.
All mankind, along with the material creation and the achievements of man, must be crowned with honour and glory. In as much as man, Christian or non-Christian, opens himself to the liberating forces of God’s grace, he ‘becomes more of what God intends him to be. The Christian, to whom the secret has been revealed, has ‘-thereby simply a greater responsibility. But the common life of the Christian community, secretly nurtured by the life of worship and prayer, belongs to the mystery of man’s attaining to his destiny of glory. This glory waits to be manifested on the day of the Lord. But when it bursts forth, we the chosen community in space and time must stand with our fellowmen and the whole of the time-space cosmos, to fall down before the throne and sing the praises of Him who sits on it.

H. G. Dr. Paulos Mar Gregorios Metropolitan

source: http://malankaraorthodoxchurch.in/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=123&Itemid=251

Deification as the Major Goal of Spirituality

2009-12-28T14:10:00.000-05:00

In normal circumstances all travels and constructions start with a clear picture of destination or end in mind. What is the supreme goal in our spiritual journey or formation of life? The Church who brings us up with great love and care gives also a clear picture about the major goal of spiritual progress which is nothing but deification or theosis. As St. Irenaeus wrote in second century, God the Father uses his two hands namely Christ and Holy Spirit to reconstruct humnabeings in the Church in His image. Lives of the saints are articles which illustrate the beauty of the progress in this reconstruction or deification.

The Greek word ‘theos’ means God. Theosis means becoming like God(or becoming God) or deification. It means acquiring the qualities of God. Human beings, created in God’s image, by having communion with the Source and Perfecter of life, are supposed to progress in this process till the end of their life and even in the life after life. This theme taught by the Orthodox churches all over the world of all ages seems to be in tune with the Indian spirituality also.

Imitation of Stars and that of God
It is quite natural for a child to imitate its parents. In the passing of time s/he may be trying to imitate friends, film stars, sports stars, priests, thirumenis, teachers or other dignitaries. One of the driving force for such an imitation may be love of glory or name and fame and social acceptance. Imitation of a hero or an ideal human being may contribute to the fulfillment of some of the potentialities or talents. But to lead our human creation to its fullness, we need to look to God as a yardstick and ideal model. The ultimate ideal figure for our imitation is the most perfect God only. To put it more concretely ‘theosis’ is becoming like Christ, the absolutely unique icon of God in History. He is not merely the object of our imitation but also the subject or facilitator of this dynamic process of deification or Theosis. Teachers of the Orthodox Churches of all ages and all places highlight theosis or deification as the existential necessity of all human beings.

Theosis rather than theoria
In the western tradition it seems that the intuitive vision of God(theoria) is the highest goal of Christian life and that of all spiritual exercises. Even Karl Rahner the great Catholic theologian of the 20th century affirms this. Though the great scholastic catholic theologian Thomas Aquinas admits that God’s essence cannot be comprehended by human knowledge, he thinks that the human mind can have a direct unmediated intuitive vision of the essence of God .

Almost all fathers of the eastern tradition agree that God is incomprehensible in His essence and He can not be seen as He is. But the creation can participate in his creative energies. So their emphasis is on Theosis rather than theoria. St. Athanasius wrote in 4th century with regard to incarnation: “He became man that we might become divine” (On Incarnation 54). Fathers like St. Irenaeus, Origen, St. Basil the Great, St. Gregory Naazianzen, St. Greory of Nyssa, St. Ephrem, St. Cyril of Alexandria, Pseudo Dionysius etc were the great exponents of this theme. Some of them distinguish the “image and likeness of God” in humans (Gen 1:26) and teach that image is the potentiality of which the goal is likeness of God. Gregory Nazianzen puts it rightly: ‘man has been created in the image of God and is therefore expected to become ‘similar to God’… God is to the intellect what the Sun is to material nature. A purified soul alone can acquire knowledge of God. Speaking about God is great undertaking, but is an even greater undertaking to purify ourselves for God, for only in this way will God be revealed.’

This teaching is based on insights from the Scripture and the experience in church and life. The five very important scriptural passages which describe the significance of deification are 1.Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness’;(Gen 1:26 ) 2. “Be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect” (Mathew5:48) 3. “Become partakers of divine nature” (II Peter 1:4) 4. “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the lord, are being changed into his likeness from one degree of glory to another.” (2Corinthians3:18). 5. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy , peace , patience , kindness , goodness , faithfulness, gentleness , self –control” (Galatians 5:22).

The process of ‘becoming’
Be or become is a very significant word in the above mentioned passages. Raw materials become special products in factories. An embryo becomes a child and a full human being through a long process. Bread and wine offered in Qurbana become Holy body and blood of Christ. Likewise humans are supposed to progress in the process of becoming like God, that is deification or theosis.

The theme is also a reminder of the very purpose of all human creation. Being created in the image and likeness of God (Gen.1:26) all human beings have the potentiality to be like God. The Hebrew words for image and likeness of God in Gen 1:26 (Selem and Demuth) are taken from the Egyptian Royal Theology. Emperors used to place their statues in various corners of the country which were known as his images. Likewise human beings are appointed to represent and manifest the invisible God in all the spheres of life, in schools, colleges, offices, homes, parishes etc. All human beings have this basic calling.

Jesus Christ is the one who manifested God most perfectly and showed the fullness of humanity in history. So to be like God means to be like Christ, the perfect image of God(Colossians2:9; II Corinthians4:4). By acquiring the qualities of God as reflected in the life of Christ we can be perfect being. This is why the church is always highlighting the life of Christ in her feasts, fasts, sacraments especially in the Holy Qurbana and calls for a constant communion with Him. All saints have acquired this holiness. And joining with St.Paul they exhort us: “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ”(1 Cor11:1). There are many references to becoming like Christ e.g. 2 Cor 3:18; 1 Jn.2:6, Phil.2:5, Jn.12:26 etc . Becoming like Christ is salvation.

Some of the virtues of God to be imbibed
There are communicable and incommunicable attributes in God. In other words some attributes like omniscience, infinity etc of God can not be acquired by humans whereas the following are some of the virtues of God which humans can have:

God is forgiveness. Though God hates and opposes evil, He forgives evildoers and longs for their change. Christ advises to become like God who “is kind to the ungrateful and the selfish” (Lk 6;35) This is the means to human perfection, happiness and peace of the world which is fragmented by communalism, war and terrorism.
God is wider ecumenism. God’s concern and compassion is not limited to one church, one religion, or one country. It pervades and encompasses the entire creation. The welfare of the Global community and the whole creation need to be the concern of all human beings also. It is noteworthy that Jesus explains God in relation to Sun which lightens the whole creation (Mt.5:45). By being rooted in one tradition (eg. Orthodox Christianity) we can be open to all churches as well as to people belonging to other religions and join hands with them to shape a better world of peace, justice and love.
God is compassion to the least and the suffering. God is specifically merciful to those who are marginalized, exploited and suffering. We become like God by taking a stand for the victims of injustice and exploitation, the dalits, tribals, the children who are denied even primary education, the mentally challenged, otherly abled and all the sick and the suffering. Christ led a perfect selfless life by extending merciful hand to all the suffering.
God is community. In his very being itself He is not an individual or a single person but a community. The Holy Trinity or Satchitananda is a perfect fellowship where Father, Son and Holy Spirit are caring and loving each other absolutely. Being created in the image of the Holy Trinity, human beings will not become perfect with out being in solidarity with others. Fellowship or Community is not a luxury but an existential necessity. Each family, local churches and institutions must become incarnation of this fellowship.
God is freedom. Humans can also become like God who is free from evil and egoism and always free to do good. Deification is a process of liberation from passions like hatred, lust, pride, jealousy which blocks the self actualization of humans and suppress the seeds of virtues in human being. Such a freedom brings happiness and makes the person more active in humanizing works. Progress in freedom means to live like Jesus doing good for society with out any external pressure.

Deification as Humanisation
Becoming like God does not mean suppressing our humanity, physical needs, and social and cultural life. Deification refers to the fulfillment of the human potentiality divinely deposited in human creation. In other words it is self realization of humanity or becoming a perfect human being. Based on the theology of Gregory of Nyssa, H. G. Paulose Mar Gregorios presents deification as humanization: “the very nature of humanity is to be like God, for that is what it means to be created in the image of God. The more humanity becomes like God, the more it becomes itself. Divinization is humanization. Theosis is anthropesis.”(Cosmic Man, 230).

Theosis and Golden rule
‘Golden rule’ is an ethical demand for human moral perfection: “Whatever you want people to do to you, do also to them”(Matt.7.12; Luke 6.31) This teaching of Christ is a key verse to understand theosis and fullness of life . We find this Golden Rule of Humanity in all the great religious and ethical traditions. People of all religious traditions having an experience of God who is sensitive to the needs His creation are stimulated to be sensitive and empathetic to the rest of the human kind and non human creation . Here are some of its formulations which can become one of the foundations of a Global Ethic :

Confucius (551-489BCE) “What you yourself do not want, do not do to another person” (Analects 15.23)
Hinduism: “One should not behave towards others in a way which is unpleasant for oneself.: that is the essence of morality” ( Mahabharata XIII,114,8).
Buddhism : “A state which is not pleasant or enjoyable for me will also not be so for him; how can I impose on another a state which is not pleasant or enjoyable for me”(Samyutta Nikaya V,353,35-342,2).
Jainism: “Human beings should be indifferent to worldly things and treat all creatures in the world as they would want to be treated themselves”(Sutrakritanga I , 11, 33)
Islam : “None of you is a believer as long as he does not wish his brother what he wishes himself” (Forty Hadith of an –Nawawi, 13)
Rabbi Hillel (60 BCE -10 CE) “Do not do to others what you would not want them to do to you” (Sabbat 31a).

Synergy for Theosis
The process of becoming like a celebrity is mainly based on the effort and initiative of the person who imitate. But deification is possible mainly by a Synergy or co-operation between God and human being. Creation itself is grace or gift from God. Being created in God’s image, humans can make use of grace in creation to progress in divinization. Added to this grace in creation, grace in sacraments and prayers also help those who avail them. “Abide in me, I will abide in you.”(Jn 15.4) God is giving the necessary grace or Spirit through the sacraments and spiritual exercises. Those who are in Christ, need to grow in Him by making use of various spiritual exercises like confession, H. Qurbana, Prayer, silence, meditation of scripture and reflection on one’s own death, exposure to the weak and suffering which facilitate purification and constant communion with God and thus theosis. This is not ‘Marjara Nyaya’ but ‘Markada Nyaya’. In the case of Monkeys, both the mother and its child co- operate to move forward. As the child holds on to the stomach of the mother monkey, in this divinization process, God and human beings cooperate. God uses the church as the most efficient agent for the deification of His children.

The eternal progress in deification
Based on the scriptures and the teaching of the fathers, St.Gregory of Nyssa works out his doctrine of theosis as an infinite process which he calls Epektasis . In his Life of Moses he brilliantly presents his principal doctrine that human goodness is a continual progression towards an infinite God. It is precisely in this context that the spiritual idealism of Philippians 3:13-14 is realized. The virtuous life in this work is full of paradoxes; it is a mixture of standing on the rock which is Christ and forever moving forward, a mixture of running and standing still. Though we are already in Christ we are summoned to an ever increasing truth. In contrast to the Creator, ‘change’ is one of the distinguishing marks of creation. According to Nyssa this capacity for constant change in humans is a guarantee for progress in deification: “let no one be grieved if he sees in his nature a penchant for change…. Become greater through daily increase… For this is truly perfection: never to stop growing toward what is better and never placing any limit on perfection.”(On Perfection)Perfection is an ongoing progress. Even in the eternal abode it is not a static experience but an infinite advance. There the journey goes on, with the eternal Bridegroom, into greater and greater delights, joys and beauties.

Conclusion
‘Be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect.’ Setting this ladder of a supreme goal in life, Christ liberates our mind which is quite often caught up in the tunnel of low and petty goals .We can no more be satisfied fully with a good profession, education, health, wealth, and good family. Also we need to overcome the temptation to think of the goals of maximum wealth, pleasures, luxury, fame, consumerism, individualism as the only means of success as propagated by the Consumerist culture and Globalization. We worship and pray to God not merely for these or for emotional satisfaction or even for a vision of God or for social status. Ultimate goal is nothing but deification or Theosis. Continuously we have to progress in the process of deification, i.e. becoming like God. He has given the potentiality for it in our being. In addition to that He gives the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of perfection to proceed in this dynamism. Saints like St. Gregorios of Parumala have proved the authenticity of this teaching through their lives. “Save yourself, and thousands around you will be saved”: saints of all time repeat these famous words of St. Seraphim of Sarov, the 19th century Russian saint.

source: http://malankaraorthodoxchurch.in/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=113&Itemid=248

We Testify Of Christ

2009-12-26T13:15:00.000-05:00

We Testify Of Christ
Good site to visit.

Jesus Christ as Medicine of Life. A St. Ephrem Christological perspective

2009-12-26T11:59:00.002-05:00

Fr. Jomy Joseph
Switzerland

Blessed be the shepherd, who became
the lamb our atonement!
Blessed be the Vineshoot, which became
the chalice for our salvation!
Blessed also be the Grape,
the source of the Medicine of Life!
Blessed also be the Farmer, who became
the wheat which was sown
and the sheaf which was harvested!
(Hymn on Nativity 3:15)
In the ancient civilized societies, health and diseases were allied with deities and hence,
often magic and medicine went together. The Indian Vedic Text ‘Atharva Veda’ contains prayers
against diseases. In China, health and disease are integrated into the philosophy of the Tao and
the two polar principles, the yin and the yang. In ancient Egypt, people believed that pain and
sickness are caused by the gods and goddesses.

But today ‘Health and Healing’ are under the purview of a new deity, Global Market
Economy. New inventions and innovations to health care have moderately tainted the
relationship of medicine to medical ethics. The Intellectual Property Rights (IPRs) on the
products and processes of the medical world ended up in a new ‘Medi-Ethics’ – “Profiteering
from the sick! As a student of Praxis Theology, cannot close my eyes towards the ongoing
tyranny in the healing scenario. In this very context where the health concerns are at its zenith,
St. Ephrem’s healing imagery “Jesus as Medicine of Life” (a Christological perspective) has not
only theological implications, but also ethical implications in today’s Christendom.
St. Ephrem the Syrian, a celebrated poet-theologian and musician of the 4th century,
portrayed Jesus as the ‘Medicine of Life’ in the context of salvation (The other terms that are
harmonized by Ephrem for Jesus Christ in the healing context are Paradise’s fragrance and Tree
of Life). In Paradise, Adam and Eve enjoyed good health. Ephrem considers their life in
Paradise to be a ‘companion of well-being’. To put it in nut shell, Adam and Eve were created
rich in health. According to Ephrem, both Adam and Eve were created in an intermediate state,
neither mortal nor immortal. However, through their freewill they were permitted to decide.
When they had sinned against God, they came underneath the vicinity of curse and pains.
In Ephrem’s analysis, there are two agents that cause sin and sickness – external and internal.
The external is Evil one (satan) and the internal is one’s freewill. To be precise, sin is the
consequence of the influence of the Evil One and the misuse of freewill. In the beginning, sin
persuaded human history through disobedience, eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge.

The fruit was offered by the serpent to Eve and then to Adam and thereby the serpent led the
inhabitants of Paradise to sin. Thus, the poisonous advice of the Evil One instigated the Fall of
Adam and Eve. Later sin continues in many different ways – desire, greed etc.

Ephrem compares freewill with the honorableness of God. Freewill enables human beings
to decide between good and evil. By the freewill, Adam and Eve plucked the fruit which contains
the ‘poison of death’. Thus, the transgression of the divine commandment and the eating of the
fruit were the first wrong decision of freewill. So Ephrem is on the view that freewill is a spring
of all visible and invisible diseases.

Ephrem portrays Jesus as the Medicine of life in the light of incarnation. Ephrem
continues, “He is the healer of everything who came down from heaven as the ‘medicine of life’
to heal humanity from its state of sickness”. With his ‘Good News, Compassion and Caring’
Jesus granted perfect healing and restoration to humanity. Jesus’ passion, Cross, His garment,
His word and hand contributed to the healing. Jesus, the ‘Medicine of life’ and the ‘Physician’,
has been sent to fulfill what wants in humanity for restoration.

The food offered by the Evil One poisoned the life of Adam and Eve in the Paradise. At
the last supper, Jesus offered himself in the form of bread and wine as against the poison offered
by the Evil One. Thus, bread and wine (his Body and Blood) became the medicine of life. Jesus’
healing ministry has not ceased with him, but continues with his disciples, saints, martyrs and the sacraments of the Church through the priestly ministry. We became the part of Jesus’ healing process through the Church’s Sacraments – by the water and oil of Baptism and Eucharistic bread and wine, Holy Qurbono. For Ephrem, healing of world is considered to be a second creation. So Jesus Christ, the son of God, came down from heaven as the ‘Medicine of life’ to heal not only humanity, but also creation as a whole.

Today our world is diseased heavily. The zeal of ‘exploring new opportunities and
discovering new horizons’ has diseased not only the human nature but also the nature of the
world. We too are consuming the poisonous food by our own freewill. In these days our wants
and greed lay red carpet to more destruction. When Adam and Eve were poisoned by the Evil
one, they were expelled from the richness of health. The unseen fluctuations in every corner of
inhabited earth are impact of our poisoned nature and thereby we too are loosing the richness of
health. It’s high time to post a second thought to our deficiencies that which leads to
devastations. The medicine offered by Jesus Christ against the poisoned food was his own Body
and Blood. When we take part in the Holy Qurbono, we are accepting communion with him,
since his Body and Blood became the ingredients of our own very life. The Holy Week which
proclaims the passion of Christ towards the redemption of the humanity and the inhabited world
may lead us to that realization “I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly”
(John 10:10). Let us adore that Lamb, Jesus Christ who slaughtered for the medicine of life.

source" http://www.syrianchurch.org/Articles/jc_FrJomy.pdf

We Need Your Help

2009-12-14T13:07:00.001-05:00

The Mor Gregorios Community Center and St. Mary the Protectress Syriac Orthodox Church is always guided by the faith and belief that we can make a difference in the lives of our friends and neighbors. We know that all are called by God to do so. Volunteer help and volunteer donations support the Center. The only financial support we receive is from your kind donations. We need you help to continue the public programs at the center.

Some of these programs are:

Employment Program: Help from trained volunteers to file unemployment claims and weekly unemployment reports. Help with online job searches, preparing resumes, learning and practicing interview skills, and other employment related activities.
Recovery Program: 12-Step classes and small groups for those with addictions, hurts, hang-ups, and other problems. Individual pastoral and spiritual guidance.
Reentry Program: Working with recently released inmates from jail and/or prison, helping they become productive citizens.
Information & Referral: Case management, Provide information and referral for emergency assistance and to other agencies and programs.
Community Development” Help with community outreach, mentoring, and community development.

Early Christians, because of their faith and experience of God’s love, were able to perceive one another as brethren. In their view, those on the margins of society – the widows, the orphans, and the stranger – were the scale by which the justice of the whole society was weighted.

Our unity and communion with God is primarily as act of faith realized by the work of God’s Spirit. This communion is sustained, nourished and actualized in history by three distinct but equally important and inseparable sacramental ways; hearing and proclaiming God’s Word; the celebration of the Holy Eucharist; and a life of active compassion and care towards our friends and neighbors. These three ways of being in communion with shape the life of the Orthodox Church. Whenever one of these constitutive aspects of the life of the Church is not adequately acknowledged and emphasized in its importance, the life and the witness of the Christian Church suffers.

God calls each of us to act with greater sensitivity to our suffering friends and neighbors. Through support of the Mor Gregorios Community Center, we can demonstrate, in a meaningful and active way, our concern for the needy thus fulfilling the biblical and patristic call.

Donations and your prayers fund and support the Mor Gregorios Community Center. Your donations are not only welcome, they are needed to keep the doors open and the lights on. Can you help? And please keep us and those we serve in your prayers.

You, Lord, are the helper of the helpless, the hope of the hopeless, the savior of the afflicted, the haven of the voyager, and the physician of the sick. Be all things to all, You who know each person, his requests, his household, and his need. (From the Divine Liturgy of Saint Basil)

I behold a new and wondrous mystery! My ears resound to the shepherd’s song, piping no soft melody, but loudly chanting a heavenly hymn! The angels sing! The archangels blend their voices in harmony! The cherubim resound their joyful praise! The seraphim exalt His glory! All join to praise this holy feast, beholding the Godhead herein on earth and Man in heaven. He, Who is above now, for our salvation, dwells here below, and we, who were lowly, are exalted by divine mercy! St. John Chrysostom

Christ, the Son, now Man, comes to us in the deepest poverty, the greatest humility to be our Redeemer, our King. Christ is King, not only as God, but also as Man. He is King, not only by reason of perfection of His humanity, not only because He has purchased us as His people by redeeming us; He is King because His is the Word incarnate.

Orthodox Christians place great importance to the celebration of the Birth of Christ. It is a day of rejoicing because on this day we receive the opportunity for Eternal Salvation with God in Heaven. We invite you to join our community here at the Mor Gregorios Community Center and St. Mary the Protectress Orthodox Church in this celebration.

Open Mike – Friday, December 18th starting at 7:00 PM, with music, poetry, entertainment, and great fun for all.
Weekend Retreat of Preparation – Saturday, December 19th, Morning Prayers 9:30 AM, with time for reflection and spiritual guidance and direction following. Lunch will be served.
Divine Liturgy – Sunday before Christmas, December 20th, 10:30 AM
Divine Liturgy – Thursday 10:00 PM December 24th, celebrating His Birth
Divine Liturgy – Sunday after Christmas, December 27, commemorating the Slaughter of the Holy Infants, 10:30 AM

May our hearts be pure in our celebration of our Lord’s Divine Birth as was the Father’s gift to all of mankind. And may God’s blessings be upon you this Nativity Feast season.

Prayer for the Acceptance of God’s Will

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Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You alone know what my real needs are. You love me more than I myself know how to love. Help me to see my real needs which are hidden from me. I am afraid to ask for either a cross or consolation. I can only wait on You. My heart is open to You. Visit me and help me for the sake of Your great mercy. Strike me and heal me, cast me down and raise me up. In silence I worship Your holy will and Your ways which are beyond my understanding. I offer myself as a sacrifice to You. I put all my trust in You. I want nothing more than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray Yourself in me. Amen.

source: http://theorthodoxchurch.info/blog/prayers/2007/08/various-prayers/

Prayer of a sick person

2009-12-11T14:08:00.000-05:00

O Lord Jesus Christ, our Saviour, Physician of souls and bodies, who become man and suffer death on the Cross for our salvation, and through Your tender love and compassion did heal all manner of sickness and affliction; visit me O Lord in my suffering, and grant me grace and strength to bear this sickness with which I am afflicted, with Christian patience and submission to Your will, trusting in Your loving kindness and tender mercy. Bless, I pray to You, the means used for my recovery, and those who administer them. I know O Lord, that I justly deserve any punishment You might inflict upon me for. I have so often offended You and sinned against You, in thought, word and deed. Therefore, I humbly pray to You, look upon my weakness, and deal not with me after my sins, but according to the multitude of Your mercies. Have compassion on me, and let mercy and justice meet; and deliver me from this sickness and suffering I am undergoing. Grant that my sickness may be the means of my true repentance and amendment of my life according to Your will, that I may spend the rest of my days in Your love and fear: that my soul, being helped by Your grace and sanctified by Your Holy Mysteries, may be prepared for its passage to the Eternal Life, and there, in the company of Your blessed Saints, may praise and glorify You with Your Eternal Father and Life-giving Spirit. Amen.

source: http://theorthodoxchurch.info/blog/prayers/2007/10/a-prayer-of-a-sick-person/

Feast of the Holy Nativity - 2009

2009-12-10T14:22:00.001-05:00

Feast of the Holy Nativity 2009

Dear Brothers and Sisters and Friends in Christ Who is born,

Christ is Born – Glorify Him!

I behold a new and wondrous mystery! My ears resound to the shepherd’s song, piping no soft melody, but loudly chanting a heavenly hymn! The angels sing! The archangels blend their voices in harmony! The cherubim resound their joyful praise! The seraphim exalt His glory! All join to praise this holy feast, beholding the Godhead herein on earth and Man in heaven. He, Who is above now, for our salvation, dwells here below, and we, who were lowly, are exalted by divine mercy! St. John Chrysostom

Weekend Retreat of Preparation – Saturday, December 19th, Morning Prayers 9:30 AM, with time for reflection and spiritual guidance and direction following. Lunch will be served.
Divine Liturgy – Sunday before Christmas, December 20th, 10:30 AM
Divine Liturgy – Thursday 10:00 PM December 24th, celebrating His Birth
Divine Liturgy – Sunday after Christmas, December 27, commemorating the Slaughter of the Holy Infants, 10:30 AM

May our hearts be pure in our celebration of our Lord’s Divine Birth as was the Father’s gift to all of mankind. And may God’s blessings be upon you this Nativity Feast season.

The Mor Gregorios Community Center and St. Mary the Protectress Orthodox Church are located at 1000 South Michigan Street, Plymouth, Indiana. We are on the corner of Oak Hill and Michigan Streets in the white A-frame building across from the Webster Elementary School. If you need direction, or want further information, you can email us at monastery@synesius.com, or call the community center and church at 574-540-2048.

Yours in Christ,
Father Theodosius

Prayer of repentance

2009-12-10T14:07:00.000-05:00

O Lord our God, good and merciful, I acknowledge all my sins which I have committed every day of my life, in thought, word and deed; in body and soul alike. I am heartily sorry that I have ever offended you, and I sincerely repent; with tears I humbly pray to You, O Lord: of Your mercy forgive me all my past transgressions and absolve me from them. I firmly resolve, with the help of Your Grace, to amend my way of life and to sin no more; that I may walk in the way of the righteous and offer praise and glory to the Name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Amen.

source: http://theorthodoxchurch.info/blog/prayers/2007/10/a-prayer-of-repentance/